Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Every person I’ve been interested in either didn’t reciprocate my feelings or ended up being toxic (and later change their mind on me). Whenever I see the marriage rate for people on the autism spectrum I feel disheartened. It’s especially hard irl since I tend to exhibit closed body language. I definitely don’t want to force anything, but that existential fear still seeps in from time to time.