What's Bothering You?

[Giddy]

I was made redundant today....
2 years and ten months
My mind and head feel so squishy, out of mymind, i wanted to leave there myself and they took that away from me.
Had to give the keys back today too

Spoiler: More sussy stuff

First she telling me the shop failed for bankrupttly, the time my sister posted about their shop online, she told my mum they havent paid their rent in over three years, and they also told me today someone bought the shop from them? wtf

 

[oak]

I've had the biggest lump in my throat on and off for the past month. I know it's anxiety related but it feels like a dry pill is stuck in my throat. It's the worst. I keep dry heaving out of no where because of it. I've just been doing a lot for others and I'm tired.

 

[Mr_Keroppi]

Edit: I feel alot better after typing, I think I'll take a break and try and be positive instead. I hope all of you are doing better and know you are loved! <3

 

[Clock]

Not me getting anxiety for submitting a paper as i dread of getting a bad grade. My grades in that class are fine, but still.

 

[ribbitribbon]

someone i was really close to on another site self-deleted abruptly, and i don’t have any way to contact them. i’m still processing it :’)

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler

I thought I was feeling a little happier when I went back onto twitter, but I think maybe it was too soon. I’m still hurting and seeing tweets about the genocide made me feel overwhelmed and powerless.

I sent a message to my friend on whatsapp asking him again about his opinion on my screenshots; I’m now nervous to hear back from him. idk why i bother. i’m tired of waiting all the time. i’m tired of being sad and lonely. i know it is dumb but i wish the video game characters I like were real and could be my friend.

I used to feel like i belong on this voice actor’s discord, but even when I was still talking to more people, whenever I said anything, I always felt like i got that awkward silence. on twitch other Va discords i’ve tried or on twitter, when I try to interact and be part of the “community. it, no response from other fans since they’re too busy trying to get the VA’s attention if they’re in the chat. makes me wonder what i’m doing wrong.

 

[-Lumi-]

Remember to lift with your  legs and not your  back... ouch

 

[Romaki]

I'm really depressed and lonely.

 

[Chris]

Gonna vent. Most of it will probably sound stupid but it's a big feelings day apparently.

Spoiler: Vent

I'm having one of those days where the world seems big and overwhelming and my gut reaction is to cancel everything and just curl up in bed. Upside having a partner to literally kick you out of bed is a godsend on these days.

My partner started a fight last night over literally nothing. She's since admitted she did this, but it was an exhausting 2 hours where I just wanted her to either talk to me about what was wrong or let me go to sleep. She chose neither! Upside she apologised for taking her sudden mood dip out on me and we made up but I'm exhausted both emotionally and physically as a result.

I managed to strain a muscle in my thigh last night. Every couple of minutes on the walk into work this morning it would spasm - twice I almost buckled. Then idiot me thinks it's smart to walk up six flights of stairs instead of taking the lift, haha. I'm not getting out of this chair for a while.

Also need to go to my parents house tonight due to an early morning appointment conveniently near their house tomorrow. I just want to go to my own home instead, but the trains are a mess due to recent bad weather and it's not worth the risk of missing it. The doctors want to inject me with various vials of stuff, one of which has side effects that are making me hate my appearance - which my partner called out an aspect of when she was upset which is not helping at all with my self-esteem ("You're getting fat"... yes, I'm aware I've gained weight, but I'm not even 60kg. "Fat" seems like a bit of a stretch). Yay chronic health conditions and insecurity. Then I thought it was a great idea to book an eye test for after work tomorrow so I'm prolonging going home even further. I just want to go home now! Just, uh, 33-34hrs more of adulting then I can go home crawl under a blanket and forget the world for a bit.

 

[danmokun]

-

 

[-Apples-]

Some feral cat from outside disturbed my sleep with its meowing. I’m not sure if I could watch the eclipse because of my sleep deprivation.

 

[Seastar]

I should be asleep but I just don't feel right. Mix of anxiety and worry. I don't know what to do... There's not really anything I can do.

 

[Zane]

The art program I use randomly started experiencing what I assume is some kind of bug yesterday (I'm thinking it's a bug cuz I changed literally zero settings) and I can't seem to fix it no matter I do, including uninstalling/reinstalling which broke all the thumbnails for my files created with the program. The bug itself seems to be only visual and doesn't actually affect the art when I save it, but it's still annoying the crap out of me. And it's such a weird and specific problem I can't find anything about it when I Google it.

 

[Shellzilla_515]

This is dumb but... The eclipse happened while I was on my way home from college and basically missed it. I did witness some dimness, but that's just about it. Oh, and there were clouds for good measure. What a way to let this once in a lifetime opportunity slip away from my hands. The next time it'll happen here will probably be when I'm not alive which is many many years away.

 

[Dunquixote]

This is very minor.

Spoiler: annoyed with some memes

I’ve been trying to chat in the hoyolab part of this discord i’m part of and like the other channels there, always cluttered with meme stuff i don’t see how is funny. Like on this one, two people post the same solar eclipse photo but referring to different part of the game; one has to do with Raiden’s plane of eternity and the other something to do with the knave. I don’t get how it is funny. Honestly i think it is annoying when i just want to chat about the game. I’m tempted to make a discord suggestion to ask if we could minimize the amount of memes posted in discussion channels and have a channel just for memes or something but i don’t think a lot of people would appreciate it. I don’t understand a lot of memes. I have seen some funny memes at least in some gacha game specific reddit communities but all the ones I see on this discord I’m like okay… I don’t get it. I know I lack a sense of humor. .

Only 1 dream solvent out of seven trounce domain runs in genshin .

Mood has picked up a little aside from this, though I still feel my sadness ready to pop up any minute. Also a bit disappointed and relieved too at the same time not to have gotten a reply from my friend yet. I’m trying not to dwell so the sadness stays away and so I can just enjoy my game but, it’s difficult.

 

[-Apples-]

Maybe I shouldn’t have overworked myself on the treadmill. Especially when I haven’t worked out in a while. Because I’m now feeling too weak and tired. I just went through two naps, and I’m still feeling tired.

 

[Chris]

...I managed to strain a muscle in my thigh last night. Every couple of minutes on the walk into work this morning it would spasm - twice I almost buckled. Then idiot me thinks it's smart to walk up six flights of stairs instead of taking the lift, haha. I'm not getting out of this chair for a while.

This hasn't stopped. It's 4:30AM and every few minutes my leg painfully constricts. Sleep? What's that?

 

[-Raven-]

Gender moment, honestly

Am I really distraught over it? Not right now no. I’m me. But hell I wish I could just shapeshift to express my inner self better. See myself as I see me in the mirror.

Gotta accept what I see there instead. I don’t look bad at all. I just don’t feel like me.

 

[Aniko]

I suspect that someone on Disqus has created many accounts just to stalk me and downvote me for the most trivial comments. It started a few weeks ago, I, and a few others, suddenly got a lot of dislikes over stupid things, then I noticed it was always the same group of accounts with no comments, it looked like bots so I didn't bother but today I noticed that group was always following the same user, upvoting their comments and downvoting anybody else they dislike, and then that user started upvoting their own comment, which could have been by accident, so I joked that someone had forgotten to switch of account, without naming anybody and they deleted their comment and then started to downvote all my comments...pretty childish...
Also I don't get why they are targetting me when many have similar comments... and it's so random comments

 

[Mokuren]

I just saw an old lady at the grocery store that reminded me of my late grandmother. I just startet crying in the car. I am super sad.

And I had some blood tests done yesterday and will get the results friday. So I am a bit nervous about this as well.