1000 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart

[Dim]

Find the most unfunny employee and throw tomatoes at them

 

[Alienfish]

Destroy all the plants in the name of Zombies with your shooting weapon of choice!

 

[Bcat]

push your shopping cart at other shoppers and yell 'STRIKE' when you know them down

 

[Alienfish]

Play that "am i gregnant" video (check Oblivia's blog) on all the monitors on the loudest volume

 

[Drokmar]

You walk straight to the back, go inside the break room, reheat your leftovers in the microwave and leave like it is no-one's business.

 

[Alienfish]

Hand out free birth control to the kids and tell them it's for their best future.

 

[Sanrio]

break their windows with the lawn mowers

 

[punctuallyAbsent]

spend hours reorganizing their shoddily constructed displays
especially those fricking candy bins

 

[Alienfish]

Hand out pick up notes for random packages to random people and tell them they must pay or you'll turn them in to the police.

 

[Mythicalhoopa]

Sell bags of 'powdered sugar' to unsuspecting customers

 

[Alienfish]

Slap a "fragile" shipping sticker on random people and proceed trying to mail them somewhere

 

[Funnydog890]

Summon a demon in the Men's Restroom

 

[Alienfish]

Stage a version of the Hair musical in the kids' section.

 

[Dwayne Johnson]

Sit in the clearance selection, as if you were on sale.

 

[punctuallyAbsent]

get up on the conveyor and try to scan yourself at the checkout

 

[Alienfish]

Dress up as Bernie Sanders and hold socialist speeches and try to get votes for next election

 

[punctuallyAbsent]

cut the bungee cables holding the ball cage together then stand back and watch the rubber tidal wave ensue

 

[Alienfish]

what's with the bouncy rubber balls obsession here xD

Anyways, replace all the Pokemon cards with random pin-up pictures.

 

[punctuallyAbsent]

stage a peta animal rights protest in the trading card aisle because POKEMON IS TOTALLY JUST A METAPHOR FOR DOGFIGHTING GUYS!!!1!!

jk i hate peta with the passion of a thousand exploding neutron stars

 

[Alienfish]

ikr peta is like the least legit thing out there..

anyways take all the popcorn seeds and put them in the exchange machine while the cashier is away