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how are you feeling right now?

I’m feeling a bit better than I was earlier. I’m still honestly a bit sad and disappointed but I’ll be okay soon enough. I’m also frustrated with my switch’s connection tonight; really grateful for everyone’s patience. It had to happen when I got the shapeshifter role too 😔. I had a lot of fun though so I’m happy about that 🙂.

Also feeling a bit self conscious about my posts and worrying about some dumb stuff.
 
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Mostly feeling anxious. I remembered two unrelated things that make me worried for the future. Also not related, I am anxious about something I have been trying to do for 2-3 days and so far haven't gotten done.
 
I’m feeling really sad right now. I should be happy since I had a good time playing Among Us today, I got some more recipes I needed and am making more progress on something that I’m working on for my tbt store. I’m also a bit annoyed. I was trying to dive for some ingredients for some food but didn’t find as many of the two sea creatures as I hoped to.

Please no comments or replies.
 
Like I can breathe. Literally. I won't go into details since the spoiler tag is grayed out... But I'm surprised.
Also, so far September feels amazing. June was such a horrible month for me. I was in a flare for most of the month and just simply didn't feel well.
Also, had some Cheetos this week. The last time I had some had to have been 5-6 years ago. Omg they are so salty and feel corrosive to teeth. o.o like... so sticky.
On another note, last week I decided to Google why ice cream scoops always seem to pit. I got curious because we have an ice cream scoop that is ancient. I guess it was passed down by a couple of people in my spouses family. Was perfect. Then a single little pit appeared.... And I was like no way.
I always do a quick rinse after using them and store them dip side down in the sink to fully clean it later with other dishes.
Well, I found out, that because of the ingredients used in ice cream today, that it corrodes the metal. So, if you don't want pits... You have to thoroughly wash and hand dry right away as soon as you are done using it. Simply rinsing it well and letting it sit with other dirty dishes so you can use your sink full of soapy water to its fully potential later wasn't enough.
Insane. Not sure if there is really any difference in a lot of stuff from the store vs coke cola for your teeth now.
 
The student 'help' services at my campus are not great. My financial balance got messed up (again). The explanations given are extremely shallow and some of my questions are outright ignored.

I have a headache.

I already don't like doing this. And I've been there all day.
 
I just woke up and am hungry and a bit crabby; I need to take my medicine. I’m a bit anxious too and bothered about a couple things. I’m starting to miss my best friend again too.

I think I’ll be better overall once I take my medicine and eat. It’s hard to get myself to get up though.
 
feeling kinda tense because today is my day off and I always feel tense on days where I don't go anywhere out of the house for a while. I'm a naturally anxious person and I always need to be doing something, not to mention I really don't feel comfortable in this house at all. thinking about going to the grocery store to get some cereal and stuff to ease my tension a bit.
 
Still feeling anxious after being so all day. If I didn't know better, I'd think I've been eating candy or some drink or something. (Sugar increases my anxiety) I don't have sweets in the house rn. I do have grapes, but I wouldn't think that would cause this.
It's a tense time anyway..
I'm enjoying hearing the crickets outside my window. I'm kinda focusing on them rn. I already miss the frogs and toads joining in on the summer song.
 
I just woke up and in my dream I thought of my best friend for a little bit. Also something in my dream reminded of how I wanted to go to convention that Billy Kametz was at but I couldn’t go since none of my friends could go; and a few months later he passed away. I still can’t believe he’s gone. 😔 I’m feeling meh right now.

I’m also hungry; I still need to eat and take my medicine.
 
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For the first time in a long while: happy! I saw some of my friends tonight for the first time since before I got sick. I was only able to join them for 2hrs before my energy crashed, but I was glad that everyone treated me as normal. No special treatment, no sadness, just playful banter as if I hadn't missed a ton of social events. The only person to even bring it up did so as a joke:

(Context: Person B asked us to split a cabin rental ten-ways, and someone else accused her of wanting to kill us all.)
Person A: "How would you kill Chris?"
Person B: "He'd throw a spanner into my plan: I'd invite him but then be surprised when he didn't cancel!"

Funny that it was Person B who tried to bribe me not to leave. 😂

Lots of hugs and kisses when I left. With multiple people telling me that it's good if I even come for a little while even if I don't stay all evening. It's good to feel wanted and loved, and it was so nice to see them all. I've wonderful friends. 🖤
 
Trying to stay relaxed. So, I guess relaxed with a slight restlessness. I got a lot of weed eating done yesterday and I need to rest today for my gut health and my legs kinda hurt. Trying to remember that.
This morning feels odd. Since this tree by the window is gone, the day feels way later than normal because of the amount of sunlight coming through. Yesterday I saw an ad about a floating planter. It holds 4 small plants. Think succulents or cacti that are small and grow slowly. It suction cups to the window. The pots can be easily removed while it's frame stays on the window. I thought it was a nice idea and odd timing... But I wouldn't get it with the pup I have. She likes to knock around the blinds and get caught up in the curtain sometimes.
But it is making me think more about trying a small house plant again. I'm just not sure where I would be able to keep it.
I'm also trying to focus on learning videos and videos of topics that interest me on YouTube and trying to ignore the news stuff in the feed. I do think news stuff is important, but I don't think I need that rn. I know things are crap and getting crappier. I know how close we are to x y and z. What's coming tomorrow will come. Not much can be done as an individual, and ring leaders continue to insist on the same behaviors so..🤷
 
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