LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[radical6]

I'm fine with being called queer myself, and most people I know are too, but yeah I just avoid calling the whole community that.

i currently identify as panromantic homosexual because i'm percieved as a female, although i identify as agender. i guess that's understandable, i dress and look femme plus i'm dfab, so i don't hate being referred to as a girl, because i understand that some people don't realise there are more than two genders, even though they should. anyway, i think panromantic homosexual is right for me?? i'm romantically attracted to anyone regardless of gender (panromantic) but sexually i'm only attracted to people who identify as female, and seeing as i'm a femme agender, that would make me homosexual???? idk i realise i don't need a label or whatever but for my own comfort and wellbeing i really need something so that i know who i am. i don't even know what i'm trying to get across in this but yeah

I'm kinda femme? I'm also DFAB and agender. People never use they/them pronouns for me, even on here. (Mostly happens in mafia but eh they can't go back to edit anyway) I try to aim for a more gender neutral look though. As for sexuality I'm probably pansexual with a leaning preference for feminine people. Masculine people are fine too I guess but meh.

 

[baller]

I'm fine with being called queer myself, and most people I know are too, but yeah I just avoid calling the whole community that.




I'm kinda femme? I'm also DFAB and agender. People never use they/them pronouns for me, even on here. (Mostly happens in mafia but eh they can't go back to edit anyway) I try to aim for a more gender neutral look though. As for sexuality I'm probably pansexual with a leaning preference for feminine people. Masculine people are fine too I guess but meh.

do u just like to use fancy words?

 

[radical6]

do u just like to use fancy words?

Not really, I rarely use fancy words in everyday conversation.

 

[Alyx]

I'm a panromantic selective asexual. It took a while for me to find out what my sexual orientation actually was because I knew I was attracted to both men and women and actually gender didn't matter to me, I just fell in love with people based on their personality and as far as the 'selective asexual' bit goes, I haven't exactly explored that part of me but I can't imagine myself having sex at all, and I have no sexual attraction to anyone. I don't feel the need to 'come out' to my family and I feel no pressure to do so, but I still feel nervous as far as my relationship goes because my boyfriend doesn't know I'm not heterosexual and I'm sort of nervous how he'd respond because in the past he and I had a political debate and things he was saying implied that he thought it was wrong to date the same sex.

This might not be where it goes, but I have problems with my gender identity. I'm biologically a lady but I feel more masculine than anything and so I kind of switch every couple of days between female and male and it's something I haven't really been able to control and on the days where I feel like I'm not female it bothers me when that's the pronouns people use for me, but I don't correct them because they don't know about it and my mom makes it a point to tell me how 'pretty' I am on days where I'm using male pronouns. I'm out to her about all of this, and she's appeared homophobic so I was really nervous about telling her but she actually understood and she understood the gender identity thing, too, but she won't use male pronouns to refer to me when I identify as male, but then again I'm too nevous to tell her about my preferred pronouns because my parents might laugh at me. Most of my clothing items are unisex and I wear the overly feminine clothing when I identify as female. I'm not brave enough to tell people my preferred pronouns especially when they change so often.

 

[Mayorofarcadia]

Well. I identify as female ^^
And as for sexuality, I've only recently discovered how I feel.
I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and is aware of how I feel.
I feel as if I am bisexual. But slightly more attracted to females.
But it's confusing because I feel more demisexual/gray-a where I'm only sexually attracted to people I have strong feelings/bonds with.

 

[GameLaxer]

Well. I identify as female ^^
And as for sexuality, I've only recently discovered how I feel.
I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and is aware of how I feel.
I feel as if I am bisexual. But slightly more attracted to females.
But it's confusing because I feel more demisexual/gray-a where I'm only sexually attracted to people I have strong feelings/bonds with.

The emotional bond is extremely important to me as well, so while I might not find certain people attractive in situations, if I have a really strong emotional bond with them, then I can find them attractive. I have often questioned that about myself, actually, because even though I identify as a lesbian, I have a very strong emotional bond with some guy friends. As a result, I have often thought about kissing them, or being somehow romantically involved with them, even though it's not really my sexual preference. However, I don't know if I could be in a sexual relationship with a guy...I've dated men before, but it just didn't feel the same way as it did with my first girlfriend. I don't know if that made any sense but... xD

 

[Lady Timpani]

The emotional bond is extremely important to me as well, so while I might not find certain people attractive in situations, if I have a really strong emotional bond with them, then I can find them attractive. I have often questioned that about myself, actually, because even though I identify as a lesbian, I have a very strong emotional bond with some guy friends. As a result, I have often thought about kissing them, or being somehow romantically involved with them, even though it's not really my sexual preference. However, I don't know if I could be in a sexual relationship with a guy...I've dated men before, but it just didn't feel the same way as it did with my first girlfriend. I don't know if that made any sense but... xD

I know how that feels. I've actually been questioning my sexuality a lot recently and have ultimately decided not to label myself until I figure it out.

 

[Liquid Ocelot]

So. 'Pansexual' and 'bisexual'.

Can you be one without being the other? I've always thought that 'bisexual' excluded any third/agender options, but I might be wrong.

Point is, I consider myself bisexual and I really don't want to be flinging words around that might have nuances that I don't understand.

 

[Bulbadragon]

So. 'Pansexual' and 'bisexual'.

Can you be one without being the other? I've always thought that 'bisexual' excluded any third/agender options, but I might be wrong.

Point is, I consider myself bisexual and I really don't want to be flinging words around that might have nuances that I don't understand.

Recently, I've seen a new definition of bisexual - the attraction to two or more genders. So, in a way, if you're pansexual, then you're also bizexual, but not the other way around. At least, that's how I see it.

 

[katsuragi]

So. 'Pansexual' and 'bisexual'.

Can you be one without being the other? I've always thought that 'bisexual' excluded any third/agender options, but I might be wrong.

Point is, I consider myself bisexual and I really don't want to be flinging words around that might have nuances that I don't understand.

pansexual means you are attracted to someone regardless of their gender, whereas bisexual usually means you are attracted to people who identify as female (or who 'look' female) and people who identify as male (or who 'look' male).

 

[radical6]

Basically, pansexual means you're attracted to all genders.
Bisexual means you're attracted to two genders. You can be bisexual and attracted to boys and nonbinary people, girls and demiboys, etc. List goes on.

 

[GameLaxer]

I know how that feels. I've actually been questioning my sexuality a lot recently and have ultimately decided not to label myself until I figure it out.

That's a good idea. Society is all about labels. You need to know for sure that you're this or that or want to have a career in this field or that field, etc. etc. But really, when it comes to personal success, happiness, love, and sexuality---all of those are individualized; they are on a spectrum for a specific individual and are never the same as the next person's perception of them. Sexuality especially has been very much...looked upon as being on one end of the spectrum or the other...like there is no grey area in between. Well, there is always grey area in everything because that's what life is about. The grey. Because when you're in the grey, there's the greatest potential! There's flexibility, imagination, creativity, etc. etc. in all different aspects. However, that can work for some people and not for others. Some people need to know where they fall, or they feel like they have found a place elsewhere. But, I just want to tell you that the grey isn't limbo. Think of it as a place where you can explore and really find yourself and happiness ^_^

 

[Liquid Ocelot]

Honestly. I'm just going to say it. I've been attracted to men and women since I can remember- like, since I was a kid, but I know absolutely nothing about LGBTQA...anything. Sexuality is so great and complex, but I can honestly say that I've been sort of- uh. Uneducated, in a sense.

So that's why I ask dumb questions.

Basically, pansexual means you're attracted to all genders.
Bisexual means you're attracted to two genders. You can be bisexual and attracted to boys and nonbinary people, girls and demiboys, etc. List goes on.

This makes sense, finally. c: TY!

 

[GameLaxer]

Honestly. I'm just going to say it. I've been attracted to men and women since I can remember- like, since I was a kid, but I know absolutely nothing about LGBTQA...anything. Sexuality is so great and complex, but I can honestly say that I've been sort of- uh. Uneducated, in a sense.

So that's why I ask dumb questions.




This makes sense, finally. c: TY!

It's not a dumb question. It's really cool that you're willing to ask the question as it is and being open to the information I'm really happy it helped you, too.

I used to be really confused and not know if what I felt was normal etc. and so it's just really nice to see an LGBTQIA community, even online, helping each other...idk it just makes me feel less alone also. So, I appreciate your asking the question--Thank you

- - - Post Merge - - -

I had a situation that I wanted to discuss with you guys, actually.

So I identify as a lesbian. However, in the past I've kissed and dated a lot of guys. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of about a year. Being with her and kissing her was unlike any of the other dating experiences in my past. It was like something suddenly clicked. Now, however, I'm really confused because I have this really close guy friend who I'm attracted to and would probably want to kiss, but...it would probably be an issue for me below the belt, if you know what I mean...I'm not really sure what to make of this, because I do have feelings for him--he's sweet and really cute...but he's just not in a girl's body, which I don't mind ENTIRELY (he is a strapping young lad lol), but it does make a difference for me...and honestly, I can't recall the last time I was as attracted to a guy as I am attracted to him...I suppose sexuality is on a spectrum and you can fall in love with a person regardless of gender/sex/whatever...but it's still confusing, so any advice would help. Thanks so much!

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

It's not a dumb question. It's really cool that you're willing to ask the question as it is and being open to the information I'm really happy it helped you, too.

I used to be really confused and not know if what I felt was normal etc. and so it's just really nice to see an LGBTQIA community, even online, helping each other...idk it just makes me feel less alone also. So, I appreciate your asking the question--Thank you

- - - Post Merge - - -

I had a situation that I wanted to discuss with you guys, actually.

So I identify as a lesbian. However, in the past I've kissed and dated a lot of guys. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of about a year. Being with her and kissing her was unlike any of the other dating experiences in my past. It was like something suddenly clicked. Now, however, I'm really confused because I have this really close guy friend who I'm attracted to and would probably want to kiss, but...it would probably be an issue for me below the belt, if you know what I mean...I'm not really sure what to make of this, because I do have feelings for him--he's sweet and really cute...but he's just not in a girl's body, which I don't mind ENTIRELY (he is a strapping young lad lol), but it does make a difference for me...and honestly, I can't recall the last time I was as attracted to a guy as I am attracted to him...I suppose sexuality is on a spectrum and you can fall in love with a person regardless of gender/sex/whatever...but it's still confusing, so any advice would help. Thanks so much!

You might run into some trouble if you were dating a guy while identifying as lesbian.. Some people may call you a fake.

But the biggest potential issue is how the guy would feel about it.. He may not be comfortable with it.
After all, "lesbian" implies that you're attracted to women, and only women - which may make him question why you're with him, and he may become paranoid that you'll leave him for a woman as soon as some hot gal comes along. (or that you'll get back with your ex if it ever becomes an option. You don't exactly sound like you've gotten over her yet)


Another possible issue is sex - and I mean that in both forms of the word.
You sound pretty iffy about the male sex, which could be a problem because you may not be able to have a very strong, physical connection to him. Which may not bother you - but it might be important to him.


But, if you really like him that much, and can see yourself being happy in a long term relationship with him, then it's worth a shot, eh?

 

[GameLaxer]

You might run into some trouble if you were dating a guy while identifying as lesbian.. Some people may call you a fake.

But the biggest potential issue is how the guy would feel about it.. He may not be comfortable with it.
After all, "lesbian" implies that you're attracted to women, and only women - which may make him question why you're with him, and he may become paranoid that you'll leave him for a woman as soon as some hot gal comes along. (or that you'll get back with your ex if it ever becomes an option. You don't exactly sound like you've gotten over her yet)


Another possible issue is sex - and I mean that in both forms of the word.
You sound pretty iffy about the male sex, which could be a problem because you may not be able to have a very strong, physical connection to him. Which may not bother you - but it might be important to him.


But, if you really like him that much, and can see yourself being happy in a long term relationship with him, then it's worth a shot, eh?

I mean, he believes that sexuality is a spectrum and isn't bothered with how I identify...but I don't think it would necessarily be fair to him to lead him on since I probably wouldn't be happy long term with a guy in the physical sense... Thanks for the advice

 

[rockthemike13]

I'm popping in here just to ask a quick question, and it's a tough question, but I mean it with sincerity as there are a lot of people, here specifically, who identify with this. It may have been discussed here all ready, but 172 pages is way too much for me to search through

I am not for, and certainly not against LGBT, it's a mostly neutral issue to me, not having known any body who so strongly identifies with this scene. I've known homosexuals, but none who announce loudly about being a homosexual.

And that leads me to my question, and I apologize if this comes off as offensive to any one, but I really want to know why people try so hard to use their sexuality as a means to define them? If any one is homosexual, bisexual, transgendered or whatever, why do they feel the need to use this as a measure to gauge who they are?

I remember a few years ago Rex Ryan, the football coach, was caught adoring his wife's feet, or something to that extent. He obviously had a foot fetish, and it was a bit of an embarrassment to him. I don't believe he felt shame in having a foot fetish, but rather people were invading what should have been personal to him and his wife.

So why is it that particularly in the LGBT scene that sexuality is used as a way to define who people are? I know there are BDSM movements, but I've never seen on the media, read about or heard any one talk about it. It seems to be a culture kept hidden in the bedrooms, and not something as a way to strongly pronounce who people are. The same applies to never hearing hetero's talking about how hetero they are. I also never hear about pedophiles talking about how their pedophilia defines who they are, etc etc etc. ONLY the LGBT scene, and a lot of it MAY be media fueled, but seeing the popularity of this topic on the website does spark my curiosity.

LGBT isn't a new thing, it's been around since, as far as I know, recorded history. It's strange to see a surging of people who identify with their sexual practices SO strongly, that they use it to define who they are. I don't think in the long run people want to hear about what people's sexual preferences are. Is it no longer a private matter? Am I just out of the loop here?

I apologize again if this came off as offensive, as none of it was intended to be, I just have never asked any one about this.

 

[Titi]

@rockthemike13:

Eh, I get what you mean.
I think the issue with LGBT+ is that most people still assume that you're straight unless you mention otherwise, which can lead to awkward situations. Personally I don't scream that I'm bi on rooftops but I do like to make sure that the people around me know it. For the sake of being clear... If people didn't have assumptions maybe I wouldn't feel the need to say I'm bi, but the variety in sexuality/gender identity isn't "common sense" to most people yet.

I don't really get what you mean when you say it defines a person though... I don't feel like my sexuality DEFINES me, but it's part of me.

 

[rockthemike13]

@rockthemike13:

Eh, I get what you mean.
I think the issue with LGBT+ is that most people still assume that you're straight unless you mention otherwise, which can lead to awkward situations. Personally I don't scream that I'm bi on rooftops but I do like to make sure that the people around me know it. For the sake of being clear... If people didn't have assumptions maybe I wouldn't feel the need to say I'm bi, but the variety in sexuality/gender identity isn't "common sense" to most people yet.

I don't really get what you mean when you say it defines a person though... I don't feel like my sexuality DEFINES me, but it's part of me.

I see what you're saying in that most people would assume you're straight, but I guess what I'm aiming at here is why does it matter? I mean, say Rex Ryan has a foot fetish, he doesn't tell every one he knows- hey man, just so you know, I have a foot fetish.

A guy I worked for, I worked for him for months before in conversation he mentioned in passing he had a boyfriend. I didn't care, but he certainly didn't make it a point to say- hey, you're gonna work for me, I need you to know I'm homosexual.

I think most people know every body has differences in their sexual orientations. I just don't think people want to talk about it so casually in passing. I won't discuss bedroom talk with any body I don't know well enough.

And when I say defines a person, I feel theres a strong stereotype that may simply be a stereotype. IE people talking with lisps, enjoying theater, watching Glee, etc etc, simply because it's what homosexual people DO. I've seen bits and pieces of the LGBT parade, and it's hard for me to not think this is something people use to expressively define who they are. Almost an- in your face I'm LGBT get over it type deal.

And I guess sort of like this thread, I'm not sure why people feel the need to conjure and go- YES I AM LGBT! I certainly don't feel the need to express my sexual orientations.

 

[Titi]

Why does it matter? Hum, well, maybe because if no one around you knows they'll most probably flip their **** if they find out any other way. And also because not telling anyone is called being the closet, and that's unhealthy. As long as LGBT+ isn't considered by most of society just as normal as being straight it's something people need to get out there. I'm not saying rub it in people's faces, but I believe it's important to let your friends and relatives know. Also because it's a part of you you want accepted by those who matter to you.

I'm sorry but you can't compare letting people know about your sexuality to letting people know you have a foot fetish...
And discussing sexuality isn't bedroom talk either.