I have to make an appt this morning to go see an OBGYN about surgically removing an abscessed cyst and for sanitary reasons installing a catheter. I had to miss work today, at a job I've had for less than a week, and there's no way I can do my job on these pain meds or in the amount of pain I'm still in. I mean, it's bad. The cyst twisted around my blood vessels and if they cut into it to drain the thing, they'll hit a vein.
I'm honestly terrified. I really don't want a knife on my ladybits. I'm scared of how much this is going to hurt, or how it's going to effect my job performance. I have support from my fiance and my father (from afar) but it's still a traumatizing experience. I was also notified it's going to keep filling up and swelling, and doing it over and over. To put it in perspective, it's very close to a selective bit of sensitive anatomy under the skin in the vagina. I can feel it when I sit, stand, move, breathe, and it's not pleasant. I'm in agony, and apparently I will be forever.
If the removal goes wrong, I could lose feeling down there forever. There's no corrective surgery for nerve endings. As much as that will be a damper on my relationship, part of me hopes it happens so I don't have to feel this or deal with it anymore. I just don't care and want this to be over.
