What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
I'm in a very bad mood. I got into a heated argument with my mom about money problems.
xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
whyyyyyy do i still feel all trembly?? I've taken my anxiety med twice today and I can take it a third time before I go to bed but idk why I still feel so anxious 
I’m disappointed in myself. I went to see a movie in a large group of friends, and again, I felt like a complete outcast. First of all, I feel like two people I’m friends with don’t really have my best interest in mind, but they talk to me. They make me feel like I’m with them. There’s me. At a movie, with two drunk out of mind minors. I’m not much of a drinker myself, but I do things like this. I was anti-smoking, meanwhile I took a vape from one of them because they said it would help relieve my stress. I just recently threw it away because I need to done, but I still think, should I really be hanging out with these people?
My favorite person was at the movie too, and I still decide to sit with those two. One person she seems really close with was there and I didn’t want to take away him sitting with her because I feel inferior. And they weren’t even sitting together. Although after the movie, he said he wishes they were. Every time I’m around those two, I feel like a third wheel. Like I’m trying to insert myself into a group where I don’t ****ing belong. I don’t know why we can’t all be friends. I know I don’t have to be friends with all of her friends, but it seems like he’s always around when I see her because he works at the store too. It really bothers me. It bothers me that he’s up her ass 24/7 following her around like a puppy dog. It makes me seem… not obsessed, which is ****ing insane because I AM THE ONE WITH BPD. If he could leave her alone for five goddamn minutes so I could say bye to her and get on my way. I had to hang around work one day for an hour and a half just to say goodbye because he would not ****ing leave her alone. It’s upsetting. Especially when the guy she’s close to plans group hangouts and I’m never invited. I always feel like an outcast, and I wish someone would include me for once in their life, and not me tagging along to a group event that was organized by my dad.
My favorite person thinks I should just talk to the guy, but I’m not being a whiny *****. I don’t want to say it upsets me when he plans group things and I’m not invited, and that I’m clearly jealous of how close he is with my favorite person and other people, and I’m just someone there. I’m someone that stands there when those two (or three, they have another close friend) are talking and I’m just wishing to be included. If I say anything, they’ll just include me because they feel bad and not because they want to. I feel like I’m not wanted.
Even in the group photo, everyone is grouped together and I’m standing literally over two feet to the left, away from everyone else like the outcast I am. I haven’t felt more left out in my life, and I’ve had several of those instances in high school.
As I’m writing this, I have a stinging sensation in my throat because of the stress over this whole thing. I feel like I’m someone I’m not when hanging around those two minors that I’m friends with, or so I think. What are the chances the alcohol is an incentive of our friendship? Very ****ing big chance. I might be hanging out with the wrong people, but they treat me nicely. They make me feel like I’m part of their group. I’m just second guessing my life decisions. Just let me cry myself to sleep tonight and wonder what tomorrow will bring.
Never thought I’d post in the “what’s bothering you” thread about a movie but here it is.
My favorite person was at the movie too, and I still decide to sit with those two. One person she seems really close with was there and I didn’t want to take away him sitting with her because I feel inferior. And they weren’t even sitting together. Although after the movie, he said he wishes they were. Every time I’m around those two, I feel like a third wheel. Like I’m trying to insert myself into a group where I don’t ****ing belong. I don’t know why we can’t all be friends. I know I don’t have to be friends with all of her friends, but it seems like he’s always around when I see her because he works at the store too. It really bothers me. It bothers me that he’s up her ass 24/7 following her around like a puppy dog. It makes me seem… not obsessed, which is ****ing insane because I AM THE ONE WITH BPD. If he could leave her alone for five goddamn minutes so I could say bye to her and get on my way. I had to hang around work one day for an hour and a half just to say goodbye because he would not ****ing leave her alone. It’s upsetting. Especially when the guy she’s close to plans group hangouts and I’m never invited. I always feel like an outcast, and I wish someone would include me for once in their life, and not me tagging along to a group event that was organized by my dad.
My favorite person thinks I should just talk to the guy, but I’m not being a whiny *****. I don’t want to say it upsets me when he plans group things and I’m not invited, and that I’m clearly jealous of how close he is with my favorite person and other people, and I’m just someone there. I’m someone that stands there when those two (or three, they have another close friend) are talking and I’m just wishing to be included. If I say anything, they’ll just include me because they feel bad and not because they want to. I feel like I’m not wanted.
Even in the group photo, everyone is grouped together and I’m standing literally over two feet to the left, away from everyone else like the outcast I am. I haven’t felt more left out in my life, and I’ve had several of those instances in high school.
As I’m writing this, I have a stinging sensation in my throat because of the stress over this whole thing. I feel like I’m someone I’m not when hanging around those two minors that I’m friends with, or so I think. What are the chances the alcohol is an incentive of our friendship? Very ****ing big chance. I might be hanging out with the wrong people, but they treat me nicely. They make me feel like I’m part of their group. I’m just second guessing my life decisions. Just let me cry myself to sleep tonight and wonder what tomorrow will bring.
Never thought I’d post in the “what’s bothering you” thread about a movie but here it is.
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xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
so on Monday sometime in the afternoon I let my dog outside as usual, but when he got into the yard I heard him yelp, which he literally never does so I knew something was wrong. he was holding up his back leg and couldn't put any weight on it. my mom and I had to carry him up the stairs back onto the porch. I called the vet and made an appt for Tuesday, but then I ended up canceling it the next day bc he seemed to be okay (and he's had this issue before where he does something to his leg and then he's fine a little later on). I scheduled another appt for one of our cats in 2 days.
but then on Wednesday he had the issue again, and this time he's clearly been having trouble w it because it seems a bit stiff and he can walk on it but not very well, and he still holds it up occasionally and has trouble climbing stairs sometimes. so luckily I have the appt today I can take him to.
the worst thing is that he's 80+ lbs so when he has this leg issue it's really difficult for me to help him besides just having him lie down. I had to carry him up the stairs on our back porch by myself yesterday bc my mom is disabled and she wasn't around to help, and I'm not exactly a strong person who can just lift a dog as big as he is.
I just really hope the vet can give him some attention and help without racking up our vet bill, since we don't have much money until my dad gets paid again a week from tomorrow. and until my dog's leg is healed I have to restrict his activity, which I hate doing bc he's a golden and they are very active dogs. I worry about him being miserable/depressed bc he can't run around the yard. plus I think he's been in pain for the last day or so and idk what I can give him for it (I think baby aspirin is possible but the vet didn't tell me anything when I called a few days ago).
this whole thing has just been really stressful, on top of me trying to get in to see a psychiatrist and speaking with the job office and everything else. I'm trying really hard not to overwhelm myself with so much going on all at once
but then on Wednesday he had the issue again, and this time he's clearly been having trouble w it because it seems a bit stiff and he can walk on it but not very well, and he still holds it up occasionally and has trouble climbing stairs sometimes. so luckily I have the appt today I can take him to.
the worst thing is that he's 80+ lbs so when he has this leg issue it's really difficult for me to help him besides just having him lie down. I had to carry him up the stairs on our back porch by myself yesterday bc my mom is disabled and she wasn't around to help, and I'm not exactly a strong person who can just lift a dog as big as he is.
I just really hope the vet can give him some attention and help without racking up our vet bill, since we don't have much money until my dad gets paid again a week from tomorrow. and until my dog's leg is healed I have to restrict his activity, which I hate doing bc he's a golden and they are very active dogs. I worry about him being miserable/depressed bc he can't run around the yard. plus I think he's been in pain for the last day or so and idk what I can give him for it (I think baby aspirin is possible but the vet didn't tell me anything when I called a few days ago).
this whole thing has just been really stressful, on top of me trying to get in to see a psychiatrist and speaking with the job office and everything else. I'm trying really hard not to overwhelm myself with so much going on all at once
☠
i’m so tired of having anxiety lol. it’s bad enough just feeling anxious, but having it make me physically sick is ridiculous. i’m anxious all the time, which means i’m sick all the time. i can’t push myself or do anything without it upsetting my stomach. 
xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
update on my doggo, we got back from the vet a bit ago and she diagnosed that he has a torn ligament in his left knee. it's not bad enough to require surgery but it's clearly bothering him since he sometimes hobbles on one leg. she gave me pain meds to give him twice a day or as needed, and he basically just needs to rest until it heals enough that he can get around with no pain. poor baby bean
I feel bad for him cause I def know what it feels like to have a messed up knee (I had a bad knee injury in late Dec 2017, required major surgery and it took me about 5 months of PT to be mostly normal again), and watch everyone around you be up and moving around freely while you just have to sit there and watch them. I hope he can recover soon so he can be himself again. he seems kinda sad and it makes me sad.
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
Mom and I are not speaking to each other given the heated arugment we had yesterday about money problems. She was using my information behind my back without my consent and she is playing the victim making me look bad. I really wish I can just move out of the house at this point, but I am stuck living with her so I have not much of a choice either way.
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
Update: Mom and I reconcilled. It was all huge misunderstanding and we decided to just bury the hatchet. Man I have a habit of making things out to be a big deal and then I realized it was all a misunderstanding. Ugh what is wrong with me.....
The train rerailmentS. For one, Ohio is greatly suffering from that with no help and no answers, and so are the thousands down stream soon. However another one of the same company's trains derailed in Michigan with toxic chemicals. I live near train tracks and I have no idea if this same company has their trains run on it or not. It's insane.
Edit, I did some googling unsure if I could find any info and I found a tid bit and it looks like they do................
The federal gov really needs to step in. It's pollution on a grand scale not to mention a danger to thousands of people.
Edit, I did some googling unsure if I could find any info and I found a tid bit and it looks like they do................
The federal gov really needs to step in. It's pollution on a grand scale not to mention a danger to thousands of people.
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xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
surprisingly I didn't know about what happened until @/Shellzilla_515 told me recently, it's about an hour north of where my grandma lives. I saw what kind of effect it's having on the environment and it's really concerning. I'm not sure if Mike DeWine has addressed it yet and come up with a plan to tackle it, but if not he better get on this. I'll be keeping my eye on the news for sure, I've already been worried about pollution issues in other places like Michigan because I care a great deal about environmental activism and taking care of issues like this, and just seeing this happen breaks my heart.
I guess today has been a pretty overwhelming day for me, with talking to my therapist and taking my dog to the vet and everything else. I've been feeling really tired since about 7pm and I want to work on my drawing but instead I'm sitting here playing music and not doin much else. I think it's because I'm feeling a great deal of empathy and pity for my poor dog. it really hit me today how hurt he actually is. and seeing him hurt, I feel his pain so much. I'll prob go to bed early, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us.
Obviously I’ve been stressed based on my last post in this thread, but I do feel a little better. I’m still not sure about my friends or their intentions with me, but it’s not what’s bothering me right now.
I have to work tomorrow which isn’t a big deal but it’s a closing shift because I’m covering. I’m not a fan of just closing. I strongly prefer the morning shifts or working all day. My favorite person called off tomorrow (and today) because she isn’t feeling well. She let it slip to me she’s coughing up blood and I’ve never heard of anything like that before. I’m a bit worried but she’s telling me to just relax. I’m not sure what her plans are or if she’s planning on working over the weekend, but we’ll see. It just sounds serious. She doesn’t even smoke or does anything that’s considered bad for you.
She was so out of it at the movies but I couldn’t pay much attention to her since I was sitting elsewhere. (Surprising, I know.) I hope she is okay.
I have to work tomorrow which isn’t a big deal but it’s a closing shift because I’m covering. I’m not a fan of just closing. I strongly prefer the morning shifts or working all day. My favorite person called off tomorrow (and today) because she isn’t feeling well. She let it slip to me she’s coughing up blood and I’ve never heard of anything like that before. I’m a bit worried but she’s telling me to just relax. I’m not sure what her plans are or if she’s planning on working over the weekend, but we’ll see. It just sounds serious. She doesn’t even smoke or does anything that’s considered bad for you.
She was so out of it at the movies but I couldn’t pay much attention to her since I was sitting elsewhere. (Surprising, I know.) I hope she is okay.
Wow I left a bunch of likes here huh. It’s just a shorthand for hoping things get better basically.
Anyway, what’s bothering me? Well even though I enjoy the little courses I’m taking weekly it’s not enough, it’s not what I truly want and that’s kinda killing me. I’m busy every day now, but I know this isn’t really efficient. I’m asking for what classes I could take or what schools I can go to and simply nobody here has an answer for me, they just tell me to look online. I already have, they’re all the same weekly kind of thing and a lot of the tutors don’t have impressive art (no offense, it just feels like I could reach their level on my own). Or you have the other extreme of doing university, and I’m not ready or rich enough for that. Or I could do classes that are purely online… but it’s a different experience and not the full experience, it’s not enough tbh.
I wish I could just grind it out and learn and talk with someone who knows their stuff 12 hours a day. I am doing my best to teach myself but I have to use so much time simply to find sources of info etc. and I can’t totally fully judge or instruct myself.
If I sound kinda bitter it‘s because I am, I’m really lonely, I’m really tired of this, I’m really blown away by how few options I can find and how this art club with professional teachers aren’t leading me anywhere. I have one lead, but I’m busy all of next week, she’s probably busy and so I can’t see her for a while… and if she can’t help me idk what I’m going to do next. I guess I’ll be trying a ton of courses, throw them at the wall and see what sticks- but this is absolutely ridiculous.
I know there isn’t one definite path but I know there’s better than this
Anyway, what’s bothering me? Well even though I enjoy the little courses I’m taking weekly it’s not enough, it’s not what I truly want and that’s kinda killing me. I’m busy every day now, but I know this isn’t really efficient. I’m asking for what classes I could take or what schools I can go to and simply nobody here has an answer for me, they just tell me to look online. I already have, they’re all the same weekly kind of thing and a lot of the tutors don’t have impressive art (no offense, it just feels like I could reach their level on my own). Or you have the other extreme of doing university, and I’m not ready or rich enough for that. Or I could do classes that are purely online… but it’s a different experience and not the full experience, it’s not enough tbh.
I wish I could just grind it out and learn and talk with someone who knows their stuff 12 hours a day. I am doing my best to teach myself but I have to use so much time simply to find sources of info etc. and I can’t totally fully judge or instruct myself.
If I sound kinda bitter it‘s because I am, I’m really lonely, I’m really tired of this, I’m really blown away by how few options I can find and how this art club with professional teachers aren’t leading me anywhere. I have one lead, but I’m busy all of next week, she’s probably busy and so I can’t see her for a while… and if she can’t help me idk what I’m going to do next. I guess I’ll be trying a ton of courses, throw them at the wall and see what sticks- but this is absolutely ridiculous.
I know there isn’t one definite path but I know there’s better than this
Foreverfox
✨💖glow & shine💖✨
I feel this. I constantly look for ways to improve my art, but It feels like a big open field that I just end up doing circles in. I bought a masterclass program, haven’t had time to really sit down and do it. Also, the tablet I bought it on is also my drawing tablet - so that was dumb. I basically have to watch it, pause, go do what they said, and press play, and repeat. It’s time consuming and annoying. I also don’t have much time to sit and do tutorials, but that’s what I need to do. I too, wish I could just take a university level class on even just my art program and cram-learn it in a couple weeks. Hang in there, and take a break from it for a bit if you need to. I took all of January off of art, and I‘m just now feeling like I can start coming back to it and be in a better frame of mind. I’m here if you ever want to talk about it!
xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
relieved because I got a call from the psychiatrist's office this morning to set me up an appt, but I'm also frustrated bc I had to schedule it all the way out to May. I guess at least now I know I have something and I'm on the road to recovery but I wish I didn't have to wait like 3 months to even begin to be evaluated/treated for bipolar
also poor doggo is understandably still not feeling well, usually mornings he gets really excited to go outside and he's eager to start the day but today he spent the first half hour still in my bed. he just got up and I need to take him out shortly but I still feel really sad and anxious for him.
also poor doggo is understandably still not feeling well, usually mornings he gets really excited to go outside and he's eager to start the day but today he spent the first half hour still in my bed. he just got up and I need to take him out shortly but I still feel really sad and anxious for him.
Okay so I called PostNord today, apparently they didn't have "enough info" to value an embroidered shirt. It's kinda expensive because it's one of those heavier I think with golden embroidery and it's old but jeez the value should be stated on the package wtf...
****ers.
****ers.
Ravenkitty22
No, one mourns the wicked
My mom just got this email. While I’m definitely glad nobody was hurt, people could’ve been, and that scares me. It sucks that we live in a world where this is something that could happen and is almost normal. I can hardly imagine what would’ve happened if they didn’t stop the kid. But oh well, welcome to ‘murica.
xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
I was feeling okay for a bit but then my dad just completely **** on me and made me feel like a worthless and pathetic person so yea
