What's Bothering You?

Two of my most favorite YouTube videos that I really enjoyed having in the background, whether I'm doing chores, etc. or to just fall asleep to, all of a sudden play Ads now... 😕 so ****ing lame...
 
Pretty sure I got the person who hurt me suspended for unrelated reasons : p Thank youuu anonymous tips and the existence of weed pens. But ah, I don't think anything can remedy the hole in my heart from what happened. He asked me not to ruin his life by telling people what he did, but what about me? One more flash of anger and I'm telling his best friends what a ****ty freak he is.

Plus, after being happy all week, that came crashing down yesterday for no reason. I had martial arts class and I just was so not in the mood to be touched, but alas. Came home today and just wanted the world to stop spinning. I feel so detached from everything.
 
so, i'm fighting for disability due to my various mental illnesses and physical issues. i'm kinda upset it went on this long with nothing being done. my mom recently confessed to me that she was told to put me on social security when i was 14, when i initially got diagnosed with everything. i can't be too mad at her. but it does annoy me a lot that when i told her i was hurting, physically or emotionally, she always downplayed with 'oh you didn't live MY life, you didn't do MY work, so you shouldn't be complaining.' like holy moly it's not??? a competition of who hurts/is traumatized the most??? guh.

like if she heard all my complaints AFTER my diagnosis, why didn't she pursue that for me before i hit 18??? i'm not mad at her. i can't be. she's come a long way since but man does that weigh on my mind a lot. i just hope i win my case. idk what i'm gonna do if i don't. i've been fighting for this for 3ish years or more. i'm so ready to stop this struggling.
 
Despite my brother never owning a dog, he keeps telling me what I should and shouldn’t do with Blossom, even though he gives me false advice. For example, he was talking about letting her off her lead outside. Maybe some Basset Hound owners do that, but I’ve always been told not to (especially as she’s still young) as if she gets the scent of something she would follow the trail. He is so patronising too, don't let her eat things outside. Even before I got Blossom, I knew that! I mean, come on that's common sense, surely? I don’t claim to be an expert on Basset Hounds or dogs in general, I’m still learning everyday. I have books about them and if I think there’s anything wrong I always seek advice from the vet. However, I’m the one who has slept downstairs for months when she was younger and took her outside at various times during the night to do her business during the freezing cold winter nights. I’m the one who plays with her, walks her, cleans her, feeds her, makes sure she always has clean, fresh water, grooms her, the one who takes her to the vet, etc. He’s going about telling everyone it’s his dog! He doesn’t do anything to help with her, not even walk her. He has played with her twice but he soon gets fed up. I offered him a few months ago, I said ‘If you want to any day you could come out with us when she goes for one of her walks.’ I got ‘Nah, you’re alright.’ I wouldn’t trust him to walk her on his own. He thinks he’s some sort of expert on hounds. He acts as if he’s some sort of saviour, and the way he goes on you would think he pays for her vet bills too. My Dad has told him she is mine. My Dad is so lovely and helps me out with the vet bills and transport to the vets. So, I told him we have a joint ownership. My Dad is really great with her. It really gets to me as my brother does nothing, even around the house to help. I don’t mind if he doesn’t want to do anything with her, but to have the nerve to go about telling people that she is HIS dog and giving me his precious ‘advice’ really gets me. I’ve been looking after her for over a year now and she is fit, healthy and happy. If he was a pet owner I wouldn’t mind, I would appreciate it.
 
When you live on the other side of the planet from all your friends except your cat and two acquaintances !

I swear part of the reason I haven’t been active is because of time zones, it’s not like I can casually talk to people during the middle of the day. At the same time it’s on me I haven’t been messaging people as much but… I’m so tired of this and you don’t know what it’s like if you didn’t get really attached to people hours away

Also when it’s 95 degrees farenheit and your dad wants the air conditioner off for some godforesaken reason!

Sundays used to be my Tetris day but… it’s not working fam, I put this time aside with my mom and it’s reminding me I have nobody else to hang out with here, and I’m tired of her
 
sometimes I forget that there's some utterly despicable people out there, and others just being happy and cute and doing literally nothing harmful can be deemed worthy of death threats and ongoing harassment if it's considered ""cringe"", god forbid. I found out about the love surge couple and the way they were treated made me so angry I couldn't sleep last night. I hope they're doing okay and that they have nothing but many happy years ahead.
 
I feel kinda nauseous and I just had a short tummy ache. My stomach feels better now but it’s got this weird feeling like it’s holding something down…
 
I'm seeing that some kids have more friends in their life now than I did my whole life. It's really pathetic.

Whether it's because some of the friends are from school making it likely situational or it's because both their parents know each other, it makes me happy that I didn't need my parents' assistance finding friends. I'd hate being forced to hang out with someone I didn't have anything in common with because the parents happen to be friends. I just feel like that's a less embarrassing scenario than not having anyone to hang out with. I know I'd be much more content doing what I'm currently doing (minding my own business, playing Mario Kart, browsing forums) rather than feeling obligated to hang out at least twice a week to keep a friendship.

I just hate feeling disappointment from an outside perspective seeing that I have absolutely no problems talking to people. I can hold conversations but it's near impossible to relate to people much younger than you that I'm limited to the few adults at my job. I think I'm better off just letting it go if I'm as content as I say I am and stop worrying what some people might think if it gets out that I have no one that I hang out with on a daily basis.

I also know that when these minors turn into adults, most of their friends will have moved on and they'll have to meet new ones. I didn't have any friends in school. They didn't move on. I didn't have any in the first place. I guess I'm just wondering if any of these adults don't have time to be hanging out every weekend. I feel like it would get pretty tiring hanging out as much as these kids do, but I also wouldn't mind a few close friendships.

I actually do have two friends I talk to at work, and they are both over the age of 18. We've only hung out once but I don't have any doubts about our friendships. It's just that we don't have to hang out every week in order to maintain a friendship. Also, it's probably not a smart thing to be comparing adult friendships to minor friendships because they are clearly different.
 
I feel nauseous and every time I doze off I fall back into the same nightmare about being trapped in a busy public place during a zombie virus epidemic. The location keeps changing. We've had an underground train station, airport, hospital, public park! Make it stop!
 
Pretty sure I got the person who hurt me suspended for unrelated reasons : p Thank youuu anonymous tips and the existence of weed pens. But ah, I don't think anything can remedy the hole in my heart from what happened. He asked me not to ruin his life by telling people what he did, but what about me? One more flash of anger and I'm telling his best friends what a ****ty freak he is.

Plus, after being happy all week, that came crashing down yesterday for no reason. I had martial arts class and I just was so not in the mood to be touched, but alas. Came home today and just wanted the world to stop spinning. I feel so detached from everything.
Okay follow up! Unfortunately, he hurt someone else recently, and manipulated them in the same way, too. I’m sick to my stomach, but the other person said they’d back up my claim since I have decided to report him to the cops tomorrow, and I’ve gained the courage to tell his friends and anyone else who followed my instagram. Lol. Lmao. Get ****ed, creep. Rejoice!!
 
I don’t understand how people can work for 8+ hours, my brain always checks out 2 hours before work ends

I promise I’m not lazy and I really am trying to get my work done, but it becomes hard to get myself to do much during the second half of the day so I try to do as much as I can in the morning (funny considering I’m not a morning person)

and I’m always afraid I’ll end up losing my job because sometimes there isn’t much to do (slow days seem normal for my job depending on how quickly I get stuff done, but I still can’t help but worry and feel like I’m doing something wrong)
 
Well, I gotta watch what I say in this thread now as I was warned for my previous post that subsequently got deleted by the mods. I’ll just sum up very briefly what it previously said without breaking another forum rule: I hate political discussions.

Now that my opinion is out of the way, I think I need to see a therapist very soon. My anger is building up from all sorts of things, and I feel that I’m going to blow my top. I have very few friends who’ve been unresponsive for the past 4 or 5 months; my social life is a dumpster fire; my views on college are extremely negative; companies want me to pay even more a month for their garbage; I’m completely stuck living with my somewhat annoying parents that collect junk as there are absolutely no affordable living options around me; my boss thinks that I’m an annoying kid at work with no right of opinion; and I have back problems from slipping and falling on the job. Oh, and half of my vacation from two weeks ago was spent arguing with my dad.

I really don’t think I feel appreciated by a whole lot of people anymore, and I often feel that it’s me against the world. I’m in no way suicidal, but these random outbursts of stress are becoming a serious concern. I’m rapidly losing grip of my attitude, and I can’t let it go on any longer.
 
sometimes I forget that there's some utterly despicable people out there, and others just being happy and cute and doing literally nothing harmful can be deemed worthy of death threats and ongoing harassment if it's considered ""cringe"", god forbid. I found out about the love surge couple and the way they were treated made me so angry I couldn't sleep last night. I hope they're doing okay and that they have nothing but many happy years ahead.
People just suck. I still can't get over that the Steven Universe fandom lost their crap over the way some girl drew a character that they decided to send death threats to her and then celebrated when they thought 'they won' For a show that's about peace and love, the fandom sucks donkey butt.
 

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I can definitely relate, to a lot of your posts actually. I don't really have any in real life friends, or at least none that super care about me. The three I do have are always busy or away. My family gets on my nerves at times as well.

I've been making more changes this year and as a result my mood has become a lot better overall, but I definitely understand the stress part.

For what it's worth, I do appreciate you and seeing your posts around here. Especially in the basement. You're a very funny, reasonable, and thoughtful person, and I'd hate to see you leave here if you did, but would also understand.

I do hope that things get better for you soon. Just don't give up. 💚
 
I have told my boss in advance that I won't be able to do next week Friday, (I didn't specify why, but it's my aunt's funeral). Yet I looked at my rota last night, and she put me down for Friday for the whole day, which I quickly replied to her and told her I won't even be in the city.
She said she forgot what days I told her I couldn't do, I normally only give her two at least days each month where I know I couldn't do, yet she can't even remember that. I definitely told her I won't be going.
The fun part, she wanted me working the whole day by myself.

Yet, when they travelled to a different country to visit family, they came back and was suddenly told her husband's grandmother passed away, and they INSTANTLY flew right back for another ten days. I was only asking for a day. I know maybe telling her it was a funeral maybe she would remember, but she doesn't need to know, and I don't trust her as a boss to give her any senstive information.
(My problem with them instantly going back, is that I always work by myself, and when away, they usually just make me do everything, because the only other people involved in this shop are her family, so of course she doesn't care about lil' old me)

Don't worry, I am still planning to find better work, it has just been so hard to do so. I do know some who might let me be apart of their coffee shop, but I literally can't mentally deal with that stuff and feel like I'll have a meltdown if all I do is change shops, which are literally just round the corner from each other.
 
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