What's Bothering You?

[frogslime]

Spoiler: in short, i'm tired

Pretty sure I got the person who hurt me suspended for unrelated reasons : p Thank youuu anonymous tips and the existence of weed pens. But ah, I don't think anything can remedy the hole in my heart from what happened. He asked me not to ruin his life by telling people what he did, but what about me? One more flash of anger and I'm telling his best friends what a ****ty freak he is.

Plus, after being happy all week, that came crashing down yesterday for no reason. I had martial arts class and I just was so not in the mood to be touched, but alas. Came home today and just wanted the world to stop spinning. I feel so detached from everything.

Okay follow up! Unfortunately, he hurt someone else recently, and manipulated them in the same way, too. I’m sick to my stomach, but the other person said they’d back up my claim since I have decided to report him to the cops tomorrow, and I’ve gained the courage to tell his friends and anyone else who followed my instagram. Lol. Lmao. Get ****ed, creep. Rejoice!!

 

[SleepyAmaurotine]

I don’t understand how people can work for 8+ hours, my brain always checks out 2 hours before work ends

I promise I’m not lazy and I really am trying to get my work done, but it becomes hard to get myself to do much during the second half of the day so I try to do as much as I can in the morning (funny considering I’m not a morning person)

and I’m always afraid I’ll end up losing my job because sometimes there isn’t much to do (slow days seem normal for my job depending on how quickly I get stuff done, but I still can’t help but worry and feel like I’m doing something wrong)

 

[TN4U]

Well, I gotta watch what I say in this thread now as I was warned for my previous post that subsequently got deleted by the mods. I’ll just sum up very briefly what it previously said without breaking another forum rule: I hate political discussions.

Now that my opinion is out of the way, I think I need to see a therapist very soon. My anger is building up from all sorts of things, and I feel that I’m going to blow my top. I have very few friends who’ve been unresponsive for the past 4 or 5 months; my social life is a dumpster fire; my views on college are extremely negative; companies want me to pay even more a month for their garbage; I’m completely stuck living with my somewhat annoying parents that collect junk as there are absolutely no affordable living options around me; my boss thinks that I’m an annoying kid at work with no right of opinion; and I have back problems from slipping and falling on the job. Oh, and half of my vacation from two weeks ago was spent arguing with my dad.

I really don’t think I feel appreciated by a whole lot of people anymore, and I often feel that it’s me against the world. I’m in no way suicidal, but these random outbursts of stress are becoming a serious concern. I’m rapidly losing grip of my attitude, and I can’t let it go on any longer.

 

[-Blue-]

Spoiler: harassment tw

sometimes I forget that there's some utterly despicable people out there, and others just being happy and cute and doing literally nothing harmful can be deemed worthy of death threats and ongoing harassment if it's considered ""cringe"", god forbid. I found out about the love surge couple and the way they were treated made me so angry I couldn't sleep last night. I hope they're doing okay and that they have nothing but many happy years ahead.

People just suck. I still can't get over that the Steven Universe fandom lost their crap over the way some girl drew a character that they decided to send death threats to her and then celebrated when they thought 'they won' For a show that's about peace and love, the fandom sucks donkey butt.

 

[Midoriya]

- snip -

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I can definitely relate, to a lot of your posts actually. I don't really have any in real life friends, or at least none that super care about me. The three I do have are always busy or away. My family gets on my nerves at times as well.

I've been making more changes this year and as a result my mood has become a lot better overall, but I definitely understand the stress part.

For what it's worth, I do appreciate you and seeing your posts around here. Especially in the basement. You're a very funny, reasonable, and thoughtful person, and I'd hate to see you leave here if you did, but would also understand.

I do hope that things get better for you soon. Just don't give up.

 

[Giddy]

I have told my boss in advance that I won't be able to do next week Friday, (I didn't specify why, but it's my aunt's funeral). Yet I looked at my rota last night, and she put me down for Friday for the whole day, which I quickly replied to her and told her I won't even be in the city.
She said she forgot what days I told her I couldn't do, I normally only give her two at least days each month where I know I couldn't do, yet she can't even remember that. I definitely told her I won't be going.
The fun part, she wanted me working the whole day by myself.

Yet, when they travelled to a different country to visit family, they came back and was suddenly told her husband's grandmother passed away, and they INSTANTLY flew right back for another ten days. I was only asking for a day. I know maybe telling her it was a funeral maybe she would remember, but she doesn't need to know, and I don't trust her as a boss to give her any senstive information.
(My problem with them instantly going back, is that I always work by myself, and when away, they usually just make me do everything, because the only other people involved in this shop are her family, so of course she doesn't care about lil' old me)

Don't worry, I am still planning to find better work, it has just been so hard to do so. I do know some who might let me be apart of their coffee shop, but I literally can't mentally deal with that stuff and feel like I'll have a meltdown if all I do is change shops, which are literally just round the corner from each other.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

neurology appointment tomorrow and i don't wannna goooooo

also been having this other health problem acting up lately. hope it goes away because i am so tired of going to the doctor

 

[Bluelady]

My computer got a chip in the right side.

In other news, Idk if the mandatory training for today will be cancelled or not. I sure hope so.

 

[Drawdler]

I got this out today by actually meeting some people I sort of like hanging around but god so many people on VRChat don’t conversate. I had to look for four hours to find people I actually sort of liked being around and that sucked!

 

[-Blue-]

Snip

I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't think it would had mattered if you did. I remember when I told my one job that I had to have a day off for a funeral and their only response was 'You're effing my schedule up.'

Yeah that was my plan. 'Hey grandma can you die so I can screw my bosses schedule.' I told him not to bother and walked out. Sometimes you got to stick to your guns. Again I'm really sorry for your loss.

 

[TN4U]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I can definitely relate, to a lot of your posts actually. I don't really have any in real life friends, or at least none that super care about me. The three I do have are always busy or away. My family gets on my nerves at times as well.

I've been making more changes this year and as a result my mood has become a lot better overall, but I definitely understand the stress part.

For what it's worth, I do appreciate you and seeing your posts around here. Especially in the basement. You're a very funny, reasonable, and thoughtful person, and I'd hate to see you leave here if you did, but would also understand.

I do hope that things get better for you soon. Just don't give up.

Yeah, it’s weird how I feel this way seemingly at random. It’s been like this for most of my life, and I’m blaming my ASD. I believe whenever something minor happens to me that isn’t good, it affects my mood big time and has me think of a bunch of other unrelated negatives. Then, out of nowhere, my mood lightens up, like today for example. It’s a sunny day, no clouds, with the morning part of my bus route going well. I suppose the parts when I drive by myself help to ease whatever negative’s on my mind (unless traffic is bad lol), so I’m counting that as a therapy tactic.

I’m not even intensely thinking about that warning I got anymore. Once I get one, I receive instant thoughts about leaving TBT for an extended period, only to come back the next day like nothing happened. As for my friends, I’m surviving being a lone wolf. I’ve got games and electronics at home I can play to keep me happy, and that’s all that matters. Would a relationship with someone make me really happy? Yes, but that’s something I have no experience doing. I’m getting by fine and not feeling suicidal, and that’s excellent within itself.

 

[Midoriya]

I'm having a ****** day today and no one cares. No one cares about me or my life. Something happened today that is going to make my future very painful, that's all I can say.

If you give me a hug react to this, I'm going to ignore you.

 

[Kitsuragi]

I don’t understand how people can work for 8+ hours, my brain always checks out 2 hours before work ends

I promise I’m not lazy and I really am trying to get my work done, but it becomes hard to get myself to do much during the second half of the day so I try to do as much as I can in the morning (funny considering I’m not a morning person)

and I’m always afraid I’ll end up losing my job because sometimes there isn’t much to do (slow days seem normal for my job depending on how quickly I get stuff done, but I still can’t help but worry and feel like I’m doing something wrong)

being 100% honest, i work a typical 9-5 (different hours but you get the idea,) and i'm not working 100% of the time. not in the slightest. im listening to podcasst, watching a video, i take my FULL 30 minute lunch break. sometimes i clean my office if im feeling big brain fog, check here/flight rising/social media when it's real slow (which is often.) prioritizing tasks is HUGE. something has a deadline? do it ASAP. something important? someone else needs help? ASAP!!! but if you have something low on priority, maybe not due for a while? don't stress right away. getting overwhelmed with "i have so much stuff to do" makes me 50% less likely to do it. why? dunno. reverse psychology, i guess. spacing out tasks to keep yourself sane and focused is important.

i have AuDHD so focus is few and far between but when i do get focused, the days go by quickly but i feel exhausted at the end. it's about finding balance, which is difficult af and not even something i've mastered, even.

 

[VanitasFan26]

I'm having a ****** day today and no one cares. No one cares about me or my life. Something happened today that is going to make my future very painful, that's all I can say.

If you give me a hug react to this, I'm going to ignore you.

Hey dude, I know how you're feeling and I am feeling the same way. Whatever you're going through just so you know you're not alone. You may not see it but there are those who do truly care for you and its that your depression is making you think a certain way that is not healthy for your mental well being. Its not your fault. Don't blame yourself.

 

[Aniko]

I can't write anything without being interrupted several times. Family see me taping on the computer and think it's the best time to chat, ask for something, etc. I'm already slow and have hard time with concentration, why are you doing this to me? When I'm not doing anything everybody is ignoring me but the minute I'm working on something, they all (including the cats) want attention.....

It's the same when I"m watching a show, I have to pause almost every minute, so watching 1hour show can take 4 hours to watch.

 

[Xara]

Spoiler

I feel so bad for not participating more in the Lunar New Year event and the red envelope stuff, but I just don’t have it in me right now. The situation with my parents has been resolved as much as it’s going to be, but it’s triggered a depressive episode that right now feels permanent. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel for me right now, and it’s scaring me. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. I’m not happy about or excited for anything. I’m not sure why I’m even still counting down to my Birthday, because I’m not even excited for it. I don’t want to turn 22. I just feel so irrevocably despaired.

I don’t have the energy to do anything. There is so much that I need or want to do, and I don’t have it in me to do any of it. I don’t even have the energy to sit or feed myself. All I want to do is lay down and stare at the wall. I’m so tired. I’m so exhausted right down to my very being, and I don’t think that’s something that therapy, medication or even a lifestyle change can fix. I think this might just be my fundamental. I’m not meant to do or be anything other than someone who fights to just exist. I feel physically weighed down, like I’m being pinned down. It makes it hard for me to think, or to move, or do anything that requires even 0.001% of energy. The reality that this is my default, and the times where I feel good and am productive and creative is the rarity scares me. I’m just so tired.

And to top it all off, my aunt is in the hospital with a brain bleed. I don’t have a relationship with her, and neither does my mom, but she’s driving 4+ hours to the hospital tomorrow to go support my cousin. My mom didn’t go to her Remicade appointment today. She didn’t call either of her doctors like she was supposed to. My mother is not ever going to take care of herself, and it saddens me beyond words. My dad is never going to love her or me in the way that we deserve to be loved, and it hurts. This is a miserable bloodline.

Idk. I hate that I’ve been coming in here so much, and I’m sorry. Everything just really sucks right now. I don’t feel comfortable in my skin. Nothing is making this awful feeling go away. Everything just feels so wrong. With me, with my family, with the world. Nothing feels okay.

 

[MiniPocketWorld]

Finding out that States are starting to move towards taxation of animals, even animals such as fish or ant farms. You know like kits kids get sometimes for educational purposes for the start of understanding responsibility for other living things that are different from you and may experience the world a little differently than you but still has feelings, intelligence, and or consciousness? Taxing of even ant farms and sea monkeys? Everyday aquarium fish? They gonna get out and maul someone to death or scratch your neighbors car by crawling all over it at night? They gonna breed in the neighborhood and overrun everyone's crawlspace and attics?
It is angering and makes me sick. Between this and bans of animals and talk against plants.
Just fine those who aren't controlling or caring for their animals. Leave the rest alone. But no, that's to logical and easy. They don't want anyone to have animals or be connected with nature. They don't want people to learn and develop skills or have a route to a free meal because they have a chicken that lays an egg. It's ridiculous. Might as well stick people in a box of cement and iron.

 

[TN4U]

So, my afternoon was rough. I had to deal with a private matter that ended up with me having to do very specific paperwork after my run was over. I ended up going home close to 45 minutes past my regular leave time. Mind you that I'm tired and exhausted at this point, but this had nothing to do with my boss or other managers; the incident occurred on the bus, so I'm not as mad; just very tired. I come home, talk to my mom about what happened, and the conversation reaches a lull. I bring up a different topic about a speed dating event I'll be attending, and instantly don't feel like discussing it anymore as I needed to sit down, rest and clear my mind. Of course, my mom doesn't see this and keeps trying to talk about the event, not visually realizing my current frustration about earlier. Eventually, I get annoyed, and repeat myself with "yeahs" and "I knows", and then SHE gets irritated. Afterward, she angrily storms out of the room and begins a bunch of random kitchen chores without responding to my apologies. She does this every time I become annoyed of her, and it sometimes makes sense if my problem involves her specifically. In this case, she failed to read my body language of not wanting to talk anymore, and became irritated by my words.

When I come home after a rough day of work, I shouldn't have the roughness spread into my free time as well. When this happens, I'm essentially forced into my room with the door closed, not knowing who else to turn to as my dad simply gets confused. Today, I didn't want to talk to him due to our arguments over our vacation two weeks ago and how I treated him like he's stupid, which I'll admit I did too many times. Maybe my attitude is sinking lower than I'd like, but am not fully realizing it.

Anyway, I'm hoping the speed dating event tomorrow will live up to my expectations, and that I can meet some new friends. I've been needing to work on my social life for way too long.

 

[-Lumi-]

Anyway, I'm hoping the speed dating event tomorrow will live up to my expectations, and that I can meet some new female friends. I've been needing this for way too long.

I'm sorry that you've had a rough day but I wanted to touch on this, given that the event is tomorrow. As a woman reading this it made me feel really uncomfortable.

I urge you to reframe your thinking from, "I've been needing this," to something less intense. I'm glad to see you're interested in meeting friends and not just romantic interests but still.

 

[jiny]

i’m tired of feeling dizzy/lightheaded or nauseous everyday i’m convinced i’m anemic or borderline anemic and i’ve been meaning to make a drs appointment but i’m so scared