• The Bell Tree Fair 2024's closing ceremony is finally here! Event results, TBTer drawings, collectible reveal, quiz answers, art, stories, raffles, and more. You can find the six-part thread in the Bulletin Board! Thank you, everyone, for making our TBT birthday celebration so special!

What's Bothering You?

I really, really wish this week would just go already. I'm so tired from work, when all I wanna do is focus and have fun with the event going on, but I just haven't been able to.
I try and do, say the writing activity at work when it's dead but then the motivation isn't there. I know I shouldn't stress over getting these activities done, but I really care about this one, and it's a lot of fun.

Having to wake up 5am, go to work try and get there before 7am because that's when it opens and I can't get anuthing done. Finish at 12pm (if hes here on time), have to go back at work at 3.30 but hald the time inbetween is travelng to and from work and eating lunch.
 
My dog had possible blood in her urine yesterday and the vet said they can't get her in until April. Now I'm sitting in animal urgent care and my dog is freaking out because she doesn't recognize this place, and the appointment is going to be over $1000 😭 this month has been so hard.

Edit: Moxxi is home now and feeling sleepy and a little loopy. She has a bad UTI and is now on antibiotics to treat them, but she's got normal kidney function so that's good. Waiting on test results to see if there are further issues.
 
Last edited:
I must've jiynxed myself when I told my mum I'll be leaving work on time tomorrow.
My boss said there will be a technician coming tomorrow and o need to stay till he finishes ;_;
 
Getting stressed out because there are so many things wrong. There's been mold in the hallway and I fear for it coming to my room. There's also literally a hole in my bedroom floor, that I have been covering up to prevent myself from having panic attacks when I see it.
I still have health problems which surprisingly aren't even related to the state of the house, but I'm probably feeling worse because of it anyway.
I found wasps inside my window. This is not the first time and I don't know what to do about them since I asked and nothing happened. Oh, it's also really hot today! Thanks climate change.
I forgot to mention we're kinda poor. I am still waiting for healthcare and I don't have any clue what can be done about the house.
That's not even everything, but I don't want to keep talking.
 
My troubles with work are slowly being fixed, but I've still got a continuing problem in regards to my social life and after-work motivation.

It's been well over five months since I've had any form of contact with the real life friends I still had. I've mentioned before that I've been in sort of a "lone wolf" mood, but now I'm beginning to realize how lonely this lifestyle really is. All my daily schedule consists of these days are work, eat, maintain my room and car, and sleep. I could be doing so much more with my life right now, but it's sort of hard to go out and do things if I've got no one to tag along with other than my parents. I frequently spend a ton of days when not working sitting in my room or doing pointless things around the house in general. After a work day, my motivation is even worse as I'm usually incredibly unproductive by browsing the internet or watching TV. I've also gained a ton of weight and lost energy since gaining these routines. This lifestyle sucks and I want it to change.

One of my close friends had a sudden breakup with their long-term girlfriend last year, and he hasn't been the same since. The few times I tried to reach out, he'd usually leave me on read or reply that he's not in the mood. This lasted all summer. When I was able to hang out with him again at a bar, his mentality changed. He became friends with others I didn't like whom I've never met that he brought, and his opinions about sensitive things (to me at least) became stronger. It got to a point where I started to gain a real headache at the end of the night and told him that I had to go home. Since then, we haven't talked, and I believe our friend group in general mutually agreed to part ways shortly after as he quietly left the group chat. Also, we've always had differing political opinions throughout our friendship, but we knew very well to keep such things to ourselves and focus on our interests instead. With this year being election season, it's probably for the best that I don't hear him talk about politics and potentially get me angry.

In regards to other old friends I could potentially reach out to, I don't have logical choices. Many of these high school friends have long since moved on with their lives, and I have to respectfully leave them be. My activity on social media was on a slow downfall anyway, and it's probably for the best that I leave that behind as well. I quit Snapchat at the beginning of the year, as it kept sending annoying company notifications and saw no use in continuing to use it if fewer and fewer people reach out to me. I still occasionally use Instagram, but I only post every three months or so to the few followers I have and never read or like others' posts as some make me jealous. I once had Twitter/X/Whateverthisdarncompanywantstocallthemselves back in high school, but quickly quit after graduation as it's just too cancerous. As for Facebook and TikTok, I've got my personal gripes with both companies, and thus refuse to make accounts unless for a job. In short, I've quit social media almost entirely. Oh, and don't even get me started on the dating apps, as none of them work as advertised.

My social life isn't all a failure, however. For example, I tried out a speed dating event a few weeks ago, and it went pretty well. Despite not matching with anyone in the end, I met some genuinely interesting people and had lots of conversations, both good and awkward. I say awkward as it's timed for each person you meet, and I believe my conversations did not flow as natural as I'd like for some, therefore embarrassing myself by going too fast and choosing my words poorly, which is something I've always had trouble with. I'll definitely give it a go again sometime, as I now know what to improve on.

I do plan on seeing a mental health therapist as everyone I know agrees that I'm on a downward trajectory and need to fix it. It's just so hard to do so when I look at how bad the world around me is these days and lots of people only think about themselves; not to mention me being unable to financially move out at any rate with how pathetic the market is. I'm still getting by, but definitely not as well as I'd like it to be.
 
I have like two projects due tomorrow that I'm kind of behind on, and I can't even focus right now. I live away from my parents but visit on the weekend occasionally. My mother was going to pick me up after her work tomorrow, but apparently she and my father were trying to give our cat a pill. We've never had to give him medication before so this was a first, and it went horribly wrong.
Our cat ended up biting my mother near her eye. My brother was out at the time, but was telling me what he was told, and apparently our cat went for our mother's eye/temple area twice, and there was blood dripping down her face. For more context, my parents are notoriously bad at pilling our cats. We've had many cats who grew older and needed medication eventually, and my mother does some of the worst things such as putting our cats on their backs, not wrapping our cats in a blanket, towel, etc. when she should, yanking their jaws open instead of using easier methods (ex: applying pressure to the corners of their mouths to get them to open naturally).

My mother also creates such a stressful environment for our cats when trying to give them their medication, it's hard to explain. They always end up very stressed and aware of what's going on so they go into fight or flight, if that makes sense. Me and my brother have tried to tell her how she comes across as intimidating/stressful to the cats and better ways to lead into giving them their medication, but honestly it doesn't work. I've also demonstrated how to pill our cats properly to her and my father, but they don't absorb the information and it seems they just reverted back to their usual ways.

From what I was told by her and my brother, it seems she handled the whole situation very poorly. She tried pilling our cat on the floor of our living room I'm guessing since it's her usual spot, but couldn't do it alone so she was holding our cat in one arm while trying to wake my father who was sleeping on our couch. Our cat was not in a wrap and was hissing at her (which he rarely does, he's 10+ years old and I could probably count on my hands how many times I've witnessed him hissing), and I know he can get rather squirmy when he doesn't want to be held in general, so I can only imagine the force my mother was using to hold him with one arm. Before my father could help, I guess that's when our cat attacked her. Of course I wish my mother wasn't bitten, but with all these things happening and my experience with our cat and my parents history, she was basically asking to be bitten. I just can't fathom why she handled it all so poorly.

My brother has been texting me about his concern about the whole situation. We don't know how bad our mother's injury actually is because she went to bed before my brother got home. I guess he also learned that their attempt was unsuccessful when he got home. When my mother texted me about being bitten, I assumed they had eventually pilled our cat. But about 2 hours later my brother texted me when he got home and said our father was unwilling to pill our cat (I assume because of the failed attempt from my mother). Thankfully, my brother convinced our father to hold our cat and it was a success. My brother told me that our father said he was scared, and mentioned the blood. Our cat is okay right now and I hope our mother is too, but I'm stressed out and not sure what's happening tomorrow anymore. I have such a busy day ahead, but my mind and heart are racing.

It's incredibly frustrating that my parents, especially my mother, can't seem to grasp the things I teach them about caring for our cats. This medication thing is just one of many things. I had an argument with them regarding our cat two weeks ago, so this is just another thing piling up on that issue. I'm concerned about my father being unwilling to pill our cat after seeing what happened to my mother, and claiming he was scared. I really hope they don't end up resenting our cat because of this because it's not his fault and he's one of the most gentle cats we've had. If they just took the time and care to fix how they do these things, it would be easier for everyone involved. I don't live there all the time, and my brother isn't always home, so they really need to learn how to do these things themselves. I've already been having a difficult semester and it's been a struggle to keep on top of my school work. I just hate how so many things have been piling up, and have been incredibly stressed for the past few weeks.
 
I was going to make a longer post about this, but then I realized that it can be summarized in two words:

**** entomophobia. **** all irrational phobias, but especially this one. **** entomophobia.
 
  • Hug
Reactions: Doo
The fact I only got 2 hours of sleep and there's a thunderstorm. I hate thunderstorms. They give me bad anxiety.
I am so sleepy.. my brain is barely working.
 
kind of petty, I do appreciate that it's still daylight into the evening now but I really wish it would be daylight in the morning as well. it's 7am and I'm struggling to get up out of bed because it's still dark outside (plus my bed is warm and cozy hjfjkgdh). in summer the sun rises at about 6am, that'll be nice.
 
kind of petty, I do appreciate that it's still daylight into the evening now but I really wish it would be daylight in the morning as well. it's 7am and I'm struggling to get up out of bed because it's still dark outside (plus my bed is warm and cozy hjfjkgdh). in summer the sun rises at about 6am, that'll be nice.
On the bright side (no pun intended), at least it does get brighter in the morning in summer.
 
I'm still sick and my symptoms have worsened. Last night I almost threw up because I was feeling really nauseous. I only got 3 hours of sleep and I, frustratingly, can't go back to sleep. Thankfully I've been able to stay at home, but I don't wanna miss too much school again. After everything that happened with my mom back in autumn, sick days and missing the bus, I've been away from school for longer than I'd like.

If I don't feel like crap mentally, then I guess I have to feel like crap physically. Thanks to whoever got me sick.
 
The moody eyeliner guy who occasionally comes in the pub I work at, who sits at the bar huffing and puffing, but if you ask what's wrong he just sighs and says nobody can possibly understand what he's going through, before proceding to tell whoever asked anyway, about how his ex girlfriend broke his heart. It's been maybe 8 months now and he's still on about it, but in such a horrible way, like completely slagging her off and being all like "How DARE she break MY heart!" with absolutely no self-awareness whatsoever that maybe..MAYBE it's because he's just walking misery and it probably wasn't fun for her.

We call him Drago Lord of Darkness when we're talking about him and I can't actually remember who started it, but he has no idea we do that lmao.
 
just read this letter that the mental health services sent to my GP and i'm in tears ngl. they're out here trying to blame my depression on me taking birth control despite the diagnosis being from long before i started it, asking for ANOTHER blood test when iron deficiency and thyroid issues have already been ruled out, claiming i'm not giving my antidepressant "enough time" when i've been on it for MONTHS and then just recommending therapy again when i've already been THREE times and the last therapist said it obviously wasn't working for me. i am SO angry, it should not be this hard to get help. what more am i supposed to do?
 
Back
Top