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What's Bothering You?

come back from vacation and my pc is being a nightmare. ran perfectly fine and smooth before, but now it's a lagging mess that keeps freezing up. i have literally no idea what the problem is, the thing froze with just the settings app open. a moment ago, it froze on the "preparing security options" loading screen, like ??? just really frustrated and stressed because idk how to fix it.
 
I regret some of my past mistakes on this site and other sites before my hiatus last year. I had less control over my illness back then and I was bad at maintaining most of my friendships or respecting boundaries with people who didn't want to be my friend. Not much I can do about it now other than continue to be better.
 
Currently in freaking tears because I had $50 overdrafted from my account due to a bill/payment that got snatched out of my account that already had NO MONEY IN IT, but got slammed with fees for it being overdrafted. I'm so upset. How am I even supposed to get money in my account with no job?! No income!? I tried donating plasma the other day but due to 'health conditions' they wouldn't let me. This is so freaking stupid. I hate it I hate it. I can't even tell my mom because she'll want to help but she'll yell at me for HOURS over it. Scolding me, lecturing me about the value of money. I seriously can't take this stress anymore. I don't want to exist. I hate being a young foolish adult in America who didn't know any better about money; BECAUSE MY MOM NEVER TAUGHT ME THIS STUFF UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE. I hate my life.
 
daringred_ said:
come back from vacation and my pc is being a nightmare. ran perfectly fine and smooth before, but now it's a lagging mess that keeps freezing up. i have literally no idea what the problem is, the thing froze with just the settings app open. a moment ago, it froze on the "preparing security options" loading screen, like ??? just really frustrated and stressed because idk how to fix it.
Click to expand...
I'd start by investigating CPU usage and running a virus scan.
 
Chris said:
I'd start by investigating CPU usage and running a virus scan.
Click to expand...
i checked the cpu usage and it seems completely fine to me, though even the task manager keeps freezing up. gonna do a virus scan and an sfc scan when i boot it up and see if either of those helps!
 
I've already said this, but I can't help but feel like that my step-mom just wants me out of the house. She doesn't want me to grow and change for the better, she just wants me out so she doesn't have to deal with me anymore. That's how I see it because she's so insistent on me being in school/work at this very second when I'm not ready nor have a social insurance number.

I'm tired of her talking **** to me to my mad. Even if they're speaking in French I can understand every word, and it hurts. I feel like a disappointment for not meeting their standards and I'll never be good enough for my parents. Why do I even care, though?

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around my step-mom, having to be careful with every little thing I do or say so I don't set her off. I wish she'd just talk to me about it instead of ranting to my dad, because they just argue and nothing gets solved. But I also know that we'll be the ones arguing instead, and I'll get in trouble because my parents are always right. :|

Again, I don't know if my feelings are "justified", so to speak. I'm so frustrated.
 
I've been dealing with back problems here and there for years, but this time I feel like I really messed it up. I just hope it's nothing serious. My dad told me to try to take it easy but my work keeps constantly making me do all the backbreaking labor. The bulk of the work. Even when I've told them I couldn't handle it. I understand we are becoming very busy and are short-staffed but I don't know how much more I can take. I have my health to think about. I'm thinking of finding a new job. See how they hold up when I'm not there at all. Not like I get respect from them anyways.
 
i had a different sim/number while on vacation and wasn't expecting any calls, but when i came back and switched to my regular one again, a voicemail came through from the mental health health team i've been waiting to hear from, asking me to call. i'm not sure when they first called and left the voicemail, because it could've been the very first monday i was gone (the 12th), and now i'm worried they might've discharged me back to my GP or something because i didn't immediately call back >< plan to do it as soon as i can on tuesday, but i hate having to be stressed about it in the mean time. this referral is really important. i thought they'd send a letter or something, i didn't expect them to phone.
 
School starts back up in 3 days and I am nowhere near ready. I'm... incredibly scared to say the least. Many of my favourite teachers either left the school or won't be teaching my grade, and I'm scared that the teachers I end up with won't be as supportive of me being trans as the previous ones were.
 
everything is so expensive and complicated and im just so tired, too tired to figure it all out. i feel like I'm not an adult since i dont have a handle on every aspect of my life. being independent is difficult because I wasn't taught to be independent, even punished for trying to be independent. so now i feel like a child in an adult body trying to catch up to my peers. i have a billion body image issues that i am tackling, a 9-5 job that i might get let go from, a home that feels temporary, friendships that I'm barely hanging onto because I can't prioritize being healthy and being social at the same time... idk it is so hard sometimes to even exist knowing that this struggle is going to repeat every single day.
 
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