I'm not sure what to say but something happened the other night and it's seeming like it's going to having a lasting effect on my mental health. I do not know how long it will take for me to stop thinking about it. Something just feels really, really off about everything.
What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
When I was a kid, I was in such a big rush to be an adult. I hated the feeling of being powerless of my life for as long as I can remember, and I yearned for that freedom. Now I'm turning 18 next winter and I'm thinking... What now?
For me, 11th grade zipped by like nothing. It doesn't even feel like I went through a full school year. I don't understand how growing up felt so torturously slow, and all of a sudden I have all kinds of pressures and responsibilities dumped on me. It's just surreal, I guess.
No, I wouldn't go back to my childhood if I was theoretically given the choice. There isn't a single thing I miss about it. However, I wish I felt more prepared about my life. Instead, I'm just lazy, unambitious, and set to disappoint.
For me, 11th grade zipped by like nothing. It doesn't even feel like I went through a full school year. I don't understand how growing up felt so torturously slow, and all of a sudden I have all kinds of pressures and responsibilities dumped on me. It's just surreal, I guess.
No, I wouldn't go back to my childhood if I was theoretically given the choice. There isn't a single thing I miss about it. However, I wish I felt more prepared about my life. Instead, I'm just lazy, unambitious, and set to disappoint.
TW: Dog injury, blood.
I went to the park today with my bf to relax a bit and after spending some time on a bench we heard an old lady screaming things like "help!" "get it off!" so we stood up and went to the scene. a rather small dog (ugly breed, not one you'd expect to have this sort of behavior) was biting down on the old ladies' dog's tail. My bf went in and tried to pry its jaw open but nothing worked. I also tried helping but the dog's mouth was full of blood and being scared of blood, I didn't last long. After a few tries (we managed to free the other dog once but the owner of the "attacker" didn't hold it strong enough and came back biting the dog's tail and shaking his head to hurt it.)
The old lady was in clear shock, she was also slightly bit by the dog so I called the 911 equivalent of Europe.
The dog's tail was in pretty bad shape but he was walking and being really brave about it. He got carried to a very nearby vet by someone else while the lady stayed to wait for help.
It was a pretty hard thing to witness although it could've been much worse. The dog who attacked apparently did this multiple times before, and since the old lady wants to press charges, (she was really pissed because her dog had been attacked before) chances are he'll be put down.
I would've been fine without this whole event tbh! Luckily neither my bf or I got injured or anything. And the old lady only got a small scratch.
I went to the park today with my bf to relax a bit and after spending some time on a bench we heard an old lady screaming things like "help!" "get it off!" so we stood up and went to the scene. a rather small dog (ugly breed, not one you'd expect to have this sort of behavior) was biting down on the old ladies' dog's tail. My bf went in and tried to pry its jaw open but nothing worked. I also tried helping but the dog's mouth was full of blood and being scared of blood, I didn't last long. After a few tries (we managed to free the other dog once but the owner of the "attacker" didn't hold it strong enough and came back biting the dog's tail and shaking his head to hurt it.)
The old lady was in clear shock, she was also slightly bit by the dog so I called the 911 equivalent of Europe.
The dog's tail was in pretty bad shape but he was walking and being really brave about it. He got carried to a very nearby vet by someone else while the lady stayed to wait for help.
It was a pretty hard thing to witness although it could've been much worse. The dog who attacked apparently did this multiple times before, and since the old lady wants to press charges, (she was really pissed because her dog had been attacked before) chances are he'll be put down.
I would've been fine without this whole event tbh! Luckily neither my bf or I got injured or anything. And the old lady only got a small scratch.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I really really need to take a nap, and I've been trying for like an hour now and I just can't. so now it's 7pm and I'm just gonna be super tired until I eventually go to sleep later. 
which probably means I won't be very productive for the next three hours, even though I have commissions and journaling and chores to do. ugh.
which probably means I won't be very productive for the next three hours, even though I have commissions and journaling and chores to do. ugh.
I'm tired of feeling bad all the time... Some part of me at least always hurts a little or feels a bit bad, but then the doctors do a test and say the results are normal. The only one that wasn't normal was when they found otosclerosis in the bone behind my ear. But even the ENT didn't think that explained most of my symptoms... So next is the neurologist, but my appointment isn't until December, so I just have to hope I don't feel too bad in the meantime I guess. But I wonder if any tests they do will have normal results too...
I'm so tired. My grandmother who I am very close to and has been fighting dementia for many years passed away a few hours ago. I tried to help and be her caregiver for the last few years. I've been trying to take my mind off of it for a bit doing anything and all I've been doing is staring at a wall lmao.
Went to the doctor to try and find out why I'm not getting better and he suspects I have two chronic diseases - says it aligns with previous bloodwork showing I was already borderline for one of them when last tested a few years ago. No one told me this!
Lots of blood drawn today - just what you need when you already feel dizzy/fatigued. Feel dreadful. But three weeks from now I should hopefully have answers - and with answers comes treatment!
Lots of blood drawn today - just what you need when you already feel dizzy/fatigued. Feel dreadful. But three weeks from now I should hopefully have answers - and with answers comes treatment!
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
woke up feeling annoyed and unwell today. it's almost 9am and I'm still lying in bed. I don't know what my deal is. 
edit: ended up sleeping til after 11am. but at least I feel just slightly better now.
edit: ended up sleeping til after 11am. but at least I feel just slightly better now.
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Kind of a minor rant, but i feel stupid for getting an introduction assignment that was submitted late. There was some points taken off but its very small. Its also an easy assignment, but how did i not even do it before the deadline...
spawnpoint
IT'S TV TIME!
oh my god my cough is HORRIBLE ive been literally coughing nonstop!! my dad's cough lasted for a month aughh i hope mine doesn't last that long
I’ve kinda realized I have no real aspirations or ideas about the future. My parents are getting older and I can’t live with them forever. My executive functioning issues would make it much harder for me to live on my own and I’d either have to live in a group home (which the thought of gives me dread) or find a way to pay a caregiver to help me with things I struggle with. Both are rather embarrassing and I wish I was able to live fully on my own.
Mimi Cheems
you make me wanna make you fall in love ♡
Auhhh.. Lowkey feeling ill. It burns so badly whenever I cough. My throat hurts, and my body aches. I don’t have COVID though.. I tested negative earlier. Maybe it’s bronchitis or something. Idk.
My heart breaks each time it sees more news of mass shootings in schools. The cycle continues and children are failed as no changes are ever made.
I'll never forget how when some of my classmates met up for a demonstration with those who lived through Parkland, they were met with jabs and insults from unsympathetic adults. It sure can feel like a dystopian society.
Regardless, I'm sorry to those who are now ensnared into this nightmare. The children and families. May they find healing.
I'll never forget how when some of my classmates met up for a demonstration with those who lived through Parkland, they were met with jabs and insults from unsympathetic adults. It sure can feel like a dystopian society.
Regardless, I'm sorry to those who are now ensnared into this nightmare. The children and families. May they find healing.
My youngest cat, I've gotten him more antibiotics since his stuff still hasn't healed.
One part is on his neck, like a little above his neck that he stratches with his back foot - which is something we can't always keep an eye on, just annoying because even if we could get a cat cone on him, it wouldn't work with where it is. Just gotta keep an eye out when we're around so he doesn't scratch again. It bleeds and then settles. Now its dry luckily. I think with the antibiotucs he sleeps more.
Another thing I worry with him, is his weird territoral with my other ginger cat.
My ginger cat has had severe depression ever since losing her brothers. So, she won't move around the house as much. She will either stay in my bedroom for a few months, then move to the living room to stay there for a bit. So on and So on. She's in my bedroom now.
And I dunno if its because my youngest cat is young and has not been taken to the vets to be done so he won't wanna mate; but weirdly he doesn't like when my ginger cat uses the tray (there's two in my bedroom, and two in the bathroom downstairs), or even if my ginger cat starts growling/moaning he gets aggitiated and wants to attack her!
I dunno if he thinks shes moaning at me and thinks shes gonna hurt me, but the tray situation is so weird. It's why we can't leave them for holidays or anything.
He does the tray thing with my white cat - Bell - but he is pretty much on edge around Bell, so he does come over but doesn't go overboard like he does with my ginger.
My other thing that's bothering me is something to do with my sister and people on a facebook group.
My sister lives in another country, and sometimes people from America move to this specific country for retirement and etc. And they make these lil facebook groups together, and my sister is on some of them, since sometimes she does get on with some people she meets there.
One of the groups has this admin. And my sister has somehow came to know that this specific admin has scammed quite a few people and she wanted to inform people of the situation. She hasn't been scammed - I dont really know, something to do with houses and work done on houses - but my sister can be very forceful when she has the right facts and doesn't stop herself from swearing at people who have been defending the scammer; despite theres other groups, specifically a scam group dedicated to that area, and there's so many people in there that have had problems with this person.
I can understand some people not liking how my sister will jump down peoples throats and how my sister is easy to irritate and will easily swear like no tomorrow.
I think the admin has blocked her from the group I still see, and I saw what was said, and I'm not liking how they're treating my sister. The admin literally made a post stating 'I see our friend <sisters name> is off her meds again. So sorry we're all being subjected to it. I truly hope she gets the help she needs.'
Like thats not effing right. How could you say that to a WHOLE group of people, that some don't even know the situation since they got rid of her post about the admin being a scammer.
AND another weird thing, she said my sister used a fake profile to 'attempt to purchase weed from the admin' showing a picture of a conversation, but literally no proof it was connected to my sisters account 0-0 Sure you have the pic of the conversation someone called Steve messaged you, but how is that connected to my sister?
Saying my sister in another one of the groups made a facebook voting thing saying should this person be thrown in jail, but the person who posted that was an annoymous member??? Nothing connected to my sister.
Other people have said how bad this admin was scamming and their posts were deleted.
I dunno why I'm getting so invested into this, when I physcially can't do anything.
One part is on his neck, like a little above his neck that he stratches with his back foot - which is something we can't always keep an eye on, just annoying because even if we could get a cat cone on him, it wouldn't work with where it is. Just gotta keep an eye out when we're around so he doesn't scratch again. It bleeds and then settles. Now its dry luckily. I think with the antibiotucs he sleeps more.
Another thing I worry with him, is his weird territoral with my other ginger cat.
My ginger cat has had severe depression ever since losing her brothers. So, she won't move around the house as much. She will either stay in my bedroom for a few months, then move to the living room to stay there for a bit. So on and So on. She's in my bedroom now.
And I dunno if its because my youngest cat is young and has not been taken to the vets to be done so he won't wanna mate; but weirdly he doesn't like when my ginger cat uses the tray (there's two in my bedroom, and two in the bathroom downstairs), or even if my ginger cat starts growling/moaning he gets aggitiated and wants to attack her!
I dunno if he thinks shes moaning at me and thinks shes gonna hurt me, but the tray situation is so weird. It's why we can't leave them for holidays or anything.
He does the tray thing with my white cat - Bell - but he is pretty much on edge around Bell, so he does come over but doesn't go overboard like he does with my ginger.
My other thing that's bothering me is something to do with my sister and people on a facebook group.
My sister lives in another country, and sometimes people from America move to this specific country for retirement and etc. And they make these lil facebook groups together, and my sister is on some of them, since sometimes she does get on with some people she meets there.
One of the groups has this admin. And my sister has somehow came to know that this specific admin has scammed quite a few people and she wanted to inform people of the situation. She hasn't been scammed - I dont really know, something to do with houses and work done on houses - but my sister can be very forceful when she has the right facts and doesn't stop herself from swearing at people who have been defending the scammer; despite theres other groups, specifically a scam group dedicated to that area, and there's so many people in there that have had problems with this person.
I can understand some people not liking how my sister will jump down peoples throats and how my sister is easy to irritate and will easily swear like no tomorrow.
I think the admin has blocked her from the group I still see, and I saw what was said, and I'm not liking how they're treating my sister. The admin literally made a post stating 'I see our friend <sisters name> is off her meds again. So sorry we're all being subjected to it. I truly hope she gets the help she needs.'
Like thats not effing right. How could you say that to a WHOLE group of people, that some don't even know the situation since they got rid of her post about the admin being a scammer.
AND another weird thing, she said my sister used a fake profile to 'attempt to purchase weed from the admin' showing a picture of a conversation, but literally no proof it was connected to my sisters account 0-0 Sure you have the pic of the conversation someone called Steve messaged you, but how is that connected to my sister?
Saying my sister in another one of the groups made a facebook voting thing saying should this person be thrown in jail, but the person who posted that was an annoymous member??? Nothing connected to my sister.
Other people have said how bad this admin was scamming and their posts were deleted.
I dunno why I'm getting so invested into this, when I physcially can't do anything.
Honestly, I don’t feel like too many people in my life are actually supportive of my name change. On their mind, it’s either that they don’t care, or they’re completely against it.
I had a TSA agent address me as my birth name because that’s what it says on my badge. My dad gets weird when I talk about wanting to get a name change and even a gender change (to Non-Binary).
I feel like the only people taking me seriously are people on this forum. My mom just doesn’t seem to care and is resorting to calling me “Blue,” which is a little better than my dead name, but it seems like she’s using a nickname only to avoid using my chosen name.
I don’t remember the last time I was actually referred to as my chosen name by someone that wasn’t a coworker. It feels like I’ll always just be my name that I was assigned at birth.
The whole process is overwhelming, too. Is it really worth all of that work and nearly $500? I don’t even mind the money, but all of that work just to have a name that I feel more comfortable with is dumb. It should be simpler. I hate having to go by the name I was given. I hate that I have to always explain to people why my chosen name is different than my legal name, basically outing myself as if it weren’t already obvious. I hate that I can’t just tell people my chosen name and leave it at that. My ID will always tell them the truth.
Besides, I really want to change my name on this damn Disney App, but I feel like I need to ask permission despite being 26 because she is my mother and paying for these trips. I assumed the least I could do is go by my deadname for the entirety of the trip.
I had a TSA agent address me as my birth name because that’s what it says on my badge. My dad gets weird when I talk about wanting to get a name change and even a gender change (to Non-Binary).
I feel like the only people taking me seriously are people on this forum. My mom just doesn’t seem to care and is resorting to calling me “Blue,” which is a little better than my dead name, but it seems like she’s using a nickname only to avoid using my chosen name.
I don’t remember the last time I was actually referred to as my chosen name by someone that wasn’t a coworker. It feels like I’ll always just be my name that I was assigned at birth.
The whole process is overwhelming, too. Is it really worth all of that work and nearly $500? I don’t even mind the money, but all of that work just to have a name that I feel more comfortable with is dumb. It should be simpler. I hate having to go by the name I was given. I hate that I have to always explain to people why my chosen name is different than my legal name, basically outing myself as if it weren’t already obvious. I hate that I can’t just tell people my chosen name and leave it at that. My ID will always tell them the truth.
Besides, I really want to change my name on this damn Disney App, but I feel like I need to ask permission despite being 26 because she is my mother and paying for these trips. I assumed the least I could do is go by my deadname for the entirety of the trip.
ShadowLelouch97
Senior Member
My driving instructor is such a buttface. He only gets frustrated and mad, but doesn't help me improve. I had a really crappy session yesterday and it still gets to me.
himekirako
celeste's cheerleader
AAAAHHH THIS FEELS SO SILLY TO CRY OVER ABOUT
i was having a really good day all of today - got accepted for one of the interviews i did the other day and accepted their job offer, made a really good dinner which was a simple steak and potatoes, then was having a really fun time playing among us with fellow tbters
in the middle of a round, my dad's cousin who we just call her aunt, was banging on our door and then came in. just her being here was kinda distracting but when my dad came down from his shower, the real mess began. they were raising their voices in the kitchen and she kept calling for my attention but i didn't want to join them in the kitchen (thankfully they never formally asked me to go there so i just sat at my desk and ignored them) but then it sounded like they were full on arguing in laos so i couldn't even understand what the problem was about.
she left just as quickly and it just put such a damper on my mood. i feel like aggravated right now.
in the middle of a round, my dad's cousin who we just call her aunt, was banging on our door and then came in. just her being here was kinda distracting but when my dad came down from his shower, the real mess began. they were raising their voices in the kitchen and she kept calling for my attention but i didn't want to join them in the kitchen (thankfully they never formally asked me to go there so i just sat at my desk and ignored them) but then it sounded like they were full on arguing in laos so i couldn't even understand what the problem was about.
she left just as quickly and it just put such a damper on my mood. i feel like aggravated right now.
