What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
One of the lasting impacts of living through a school shooting has been the feeling of having no safety in public. When that 'bubble' has been breached, it never comes back.
I went with my mother to church today. My brain was running a gauntlet of questions. "where is each exit" "which direction would i run towards or would i go under the seat" "could i protect my mother from this position" "who is going in and out of the room and what are they doing or wearing".
I can still rationalize that it's not a common scenario and that lets me ease up a little. (along with anxiety medication). Yet I was already shown a few years ago that it's not an impossible scenario either. How does one fully feel relaxed knowing that? There's a blur between what we witness in the news and what we feel could be possible in our reality.
It's been ripped away permanently for me.
I went with my mother to church today. My brain was running a gauntlet of questions. "where is each exit" "which direction would i run towards or would i go under the seat" "could i protect my mother from this position" "who is going in and out of the room and what are they doing or wearing".
I can still rationalize that it's not a common scenario and that lets me ease up a little. (along with anxiety medication). Yet I was already shown a few years ago that it's not an impossible scenario either. How does one fully feel relaxed knowing that? There's a blur between what we witness in the news and what we feel could be possible in our reality.
It's been ripped away permanently for me.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
idk why I spend half of my days not feeling well. heck probably more than half. 
edit: had to reiterate that I spend (not spent) most days feeling unwell. today it happened to be an ongoing medical issue that I was dealing with in the morning. I feel a little better now, but ugh. so annoying.
edit: had to reiterate that I spend (not spent) most days feeling unwell. today it happened to be an ongoing medical issue that I was dealing with in the morning. I feel a little better now, but ugh. so annoying.
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okay at first i wasnt convinced but im really starting to think i've come down with the colds (and not just allergies).
head hurts a LOT and my nose is clogged. could also be from lack of sleep and studying lots but idk. i'll take a shower and see if i feel better.
head hurts a LOT and my nose is clogged. could also be from lack of sleep and studying lots but idk. i'll take a shower and see if i feel better.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
getting worked up over my living situation but I have to tell myself to calm down so my mania hopefully doesn't come back. 
I hope I can find my way someday.
I hope I can find my way someday.
Was suppose to have a call from my UC coach and its been nearly half an hour.
Literally had to add a message on there because this is the second time it's happened :/ Wasting my time. I have things to do.
It's annoying because they don't really assist me with looking for jobs anyways. Last time, I used to get a few things in the journal but nothing.
*lol, now they ring. Didnt stay on for long, but seemed overjoyed about the interview.
Literally had to add a message on there because this is the second time it's happened :/ Wasting my time. I have things to do.
It's annoying because they don't really assist me with looking for jobs anyways. Last time, I used to get a few things in the journal but nothing.
*lol, now they ring. Didnt stay on for long, but seemed overjoyed about the interview.
Spoiler cause I mention throw up
I barfed my guts out this morning and my dad has an appointment so he asked me to come watch my mom while he's gone. Im just sitting at their kitchen table not looking forward to getting my mom outta bed cause it takes alot of effort to lift and transfer her. I had to bring a bowl with me on the drive over here cause ive barfed on myself driving way too many times now. Me and my mom have activities to do Tuesday, wednesday and friday so im just really hoping I feel better this week
Doctor phoned me today, two weeks before my scheduled appointment, to tell me some of my test results came back. Something in my bloodwork is unexpectedly abnormal (we were expecting abnormal, but instead of a defiency the test found an overload) so now I've even more tests booked. And we don't even know the results of the tests for the two illnesses he already strongly suspects I have yet.
Everything he predicts is wrong with me is genetic so thanks mum and dad?
I'd give anything to just feel functional again. Ugh. Also physio tomorrow. And more medical calls scheduled for Thursday. The fun never ends.
Everything he predicts is wrong with me is genetic so thanks mum and dad?
I'd give anything to just feel functional again. Ugh. Also physio tomorrow. And more medical calls scheduled for Thursday. The fun never ends.
I regularly review personal statements for UK university applicants on a voluntary basis. I'm by no means an expert but if you want some feedback feel free to run it by me (via TBT conversation or Discord - I'm sure you know publicly is unsafe!).
kokone kizuki
i can’t read your mind ! ⋆˙⟡
I’m on a short trip and I can’t do the things I usually enjoy in privacy (like watching anime and reading fan fiction….) I’ll be stuck in the back of the car for six hours driving back next to my little siblings too so that’s not the greatest
At least I have this really good ace attorney fanfiction my friend sent me
At least I have this really good ace attorney fanfiction my friend sent me
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I have such a bad headache and it keeps getting worse 
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I just feel sad. I wrote out everything that's bothering me in my journal (something I haven't done in months), which helped a little but I don't feel much better.
I'm not happy with my life (even if it's barely even started), and I'm anxious about change. I'm not the person I want to be. I don't think I'll be happy, and I don't think I'll make it.
I'm not happy with my life (even if it's barely even started), and I'm anxious about change. I'm not the person I want to be. I don't think I'll be happy, and I don't think I'll make it.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
me: knows that eating mac and cheese makes me feel sick to my stomach, already not feeling well this evening
me: eats mac and cheese anyway, starts to feel really unwell
me:
me: eats mac and cheese anyway, starts to feel really unwell
me:
Dunquixote
No dms and discord messages
I’m not doing bad. Just troubled about some stuff from yesterday. Still not feeling great about some other things too
No comments or replies please.
No comments or replies please.
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I'm actually sick of pretending to be a night owl. I'm honestly not, but my mom is and she stays up until 3:00 AM or even past that each night, and it's difficult to sleep when she's awake, watching movies or even doing cleaning. I suppose it's mostly my fault too, since I find it weird to sleep when someone else in the house is awake and walking through the room that I'm sleeping in. She has to walk through the room I sleep in to get to the bathroom or the kitchen.
Before this, I used to go to sleep before midnight every night and wake up very early, like 8:00 AM.
Before this, I used to go to sleep before midnight every night and wake up very early, like 8:00 AM.
