hey man i get the frustration of training pups but as someone who has worked with dogs this feels a little ingenuous. "adopt don't shop" isn't telling you to go out and get more dogs you aren't prepared for, it's a warning against irresponsible breeding that leads to shelters (including kill shelters) being overrun.
edit: i'm not going to make a new reply to spare you the notification, but your edit only made the situation sound worse. if i remember right you got your dog from a stranger for free on a facebook post and not an actual adoption agency or shelter. you can say her previous owner has a responsibility to disclose her temperament to you, sure, but considering this isn't a typical adoption it is also your responsibility to ask about it as her new family. you also adopted a pup that's part bernese mountain dog: a huge dog used by farmers, known for their strength and high activity - and part poodle: a smart but very high maintenance breed that requires a lot of activity and socialization. it is you and your family's responsibility to thoroughly research a dog's (and any other animal's) breeds before taking them into your home.
different dog breeds have different needs and require different types of training. even two dogs of the same breed can be completely different because all dogs have their own personalities! golden retrievers are considered one of the easiest dog breeds and are recommended for new dog owners. to compare the breeds you have is unfair to the bernie, she has two highly active types of dogs in her, she is most likely not going to be goldie-tempered.
all of the "issues" you have with adopting - not knowing health issues, personalities, temperaments, etc. is also applicable to bred puppies. pups grow up and develop their own personalities, their own fears, their own unexpected trauma and health issues. your bred dog just happens to be one of the (typically) easiest and most relaxed dog breeds. one way of getting a dog is not necessarily worse or better than another, you guys just did not prepare for something that wasn't a golden retriever.
with all due respect, this particular problem you have with your new dog is due to you & your family's own negligence. the responsible thing to do now is to either step up or rehome her to someone who actually has the ability and the desire to take care of her. she needs someone who actually wants to love her.
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i just want to go in my sweats
