What's Bothering You?

My mom came back home all drunk and ****, and she just wouldn't leave me and my sister alone. She then started berating us about how disrespectful we are, and she wanted me to leave the household (basically telling me to gtfo of her house).

I'm used to dealing with **** like this because it's happened multiple times throughout the years. And before you ask, yes, my mom's been checked into rehab. Multiple times in fact. She's been sober for about a year, but lately, she's since relapsed and started drinking again.

I then proceeded to yell at her, cuss her out, and say some really hurtful things to her about how she's gonna die if she doesn't stop drinking and how I'd rather get covid-19 and die than have a drunk ass ***** like her for a mother in a last ditch effort to get her to leave me alone. Maybe I shouldn't have said hurtful things to her, but I felt like there was nothing else I could do, so yeah. Please don't @ me about it. I already know it was the wrong thing to do.

CPS has visited our house multiple times, and if anyone were to see my mom's drunk escapades, they'll probably end up calling CPS so they could take my sister away from her (and maybe even lock her up behind bars).
I'm starting to feel like my mom doesn't want me around the house anymore. Hell, maybe she wants me dead. I guess I'm not her golden child after all. Considering the argument we had yesterday, I doubt if she'll accept my apology if I were to apologize to her. Whatever bad things happen to me, I deserve that ****. It's not like I deserve sympathy anyways.

Growing up, I was always kind of an ******* to my younger sisters and sometimes my own parents but mostly to my younger sisters. I would (and still do to this day) take my pain and frustrations out on other people. My parents have considered putting us in counseling, but idek when or if they'll ever do that. Tbh, I don't think I even deserve counseling or therapy or any help whatsoever because I'm nothing but a *****. A salty, pessimistic, passive aggressive *****.
 
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This is a great community to be apart of. I became active about three years ago, despite what my join date says. I know joining new places is difficult, but everyone here is extremely welcoming to new members.

There is even a holiday event going on right now. Events are held frequently here on the forums and they are a fantastic way to familiarize yourself with the community.

Don’t be afraid to participate in the events, start new conversations topics or post in threads. We all have to start somewhere, after all.
 
get so tired with UC when they say they'll ring for my work coach thing, and I'm still waiting over 40mins and messaged them in the journal. I even gave them a house phone number and I'm still waiting.
I wanted to talk to them about the fact my employer reported my earnings wrong, causing me to get less money from UC.

I had to wait another 30 mins at work today when I didnt know whose suppose to be in. And my boss left so much washing up to do.
 
Starting out as an artist is really hard on me sometimes.

Sometimes I know how I want something to look in my head, but I have no idea how to actually draw it. I also have a problem with caring too much about small things that probably don't matter, and I end up spending like 10 minutes redrawing something over and over again when my first attempt was completely fine when I looked back on it. I don't really even know how I was able to get scouted on Newgrounds in only like 2 weeks of being on there, cause whenever I look back at most of my stuff I posted I just see ****ty sketches I crapped out in less than an hour. Idk man. I keep flip flopping on whether or not I think my art is fine or looks like **** and I have no idea what to think anymore. I still find drawing fun and I still want to do it I just feel like I don't deserve any success whatsoever from it.
 
I’m doing okay, just a little anxious.

Tomorrow I have to get up in the morning to get a few more presents. I am not looking forward to it, but at the same time I might find some stuff I need or want. Also, as much as I don’t want to admit it, getting out of the house sometimes helps.
 
My heart is broken right now. 💔😭
I had to say goodbye to my little soul pet Lillie yesterday evening. She hadn’t been doing well for about the last month but it still hurts way too much.

She was the cutest sweetest little guinea pig I’ve ever had, and she helped me through an extremely tough part of my life that eventually turned around into a much better time. I believe she’s also the Guinea pig I’ve had the longest.

The only solace I have right now is to know that she isn’t suffering anymore as seeing her unhappy was also breaking my heart. May you rest in peace little one and I hope you get all the cuddles, grass and veggies you could ever want where you are now. ❤️

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Bonus pictures just for my TBT fam. I’m sure some of you will remember these:
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P.S. Truffles won’t say so but I know she misses you too.
 
Signed into Quora through childhood email. Saw my profile picture was our cat who went missing and was never found. Made me sad.

I didn't change it immediately. I'm going to save the photo first because I don't think I have it anywhere else and there aren't many photos of him to begin with.
 
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