What's Bothering You?

I was asked yesterday, if I could come in today and do three hours in the lunch time; but that means working close range with my boss. 12pm - 3pm, because two other people who normally work Sunday, can't make it.
I pray she leaves me be. I would pray I hope she stays upstairs but she likes gossip. (Was looking at their google reviews, and even one bad review stated that, crazy)
Then her ex messaged me saying this morning, since people go to Church on a sunday, up to me but if I would come at 11:15 instead and leave earlier then 3. I said i don't think I can do that.
If they said it last night, sure, but no. They know I don't work Sundays, they know people go to Church then, that shouldve been their first thing to think of. I swear they still think I live closer than I really do. Maddening.
Not looking forward to this at all. Plus will need to buy my own lunch since there's nothing there I wanna touch.
She also makes the food REALLY slow, and now I realise I am the one who's gotta deal with customers who of course will be angry with slow food.

Last night, I played Dead by daylight, they have the christmas theme going on, so played that.
Why each time, did I have really bad survivors, I was the only one doing generators DX
 
I realise why I never work here in the day its insane.
I have only just sat down. Had nothing to eat, unsure if I should ask to make a sandwich. Or just wait till I go shopping after work.

When my boss ain't cooking she's sitting down
Left the kitchen upstairs a complete mess and didn't tidy up so I did it, which I dint mind.
 
My mom came back home all drunk and ****, and she just wouldn't leave me and my sister alone. She then started berating us about how disrespectful we are, and she wanted me to leave the household (basically telling me to gtfo of her house).

I'm used to dealing with **** like this because it's happened multiple times throughout the years. And before you ask, yes, my mom's been checked into rehab. Multiple times in fact. She's been sober for about a year, but lately, she's since relapsed and started drinking again.

I then proceeded to yell at her, cuss her out, and say some really hurtful things to her about how she's gonna die if she doesn't stop drinking and how I'd rather get covid-19 and die than have a drunk ass ***** like her for a mother in a last ditch effort to get her to leave me alone. Maybe I shouldn't have said hurtful things to her, but I felt like there was nothing else I could do, so yeah. Please don't @ me about it. I already know it was the wrong thing to do.

CPS has visited our house multiple times, and if anyone were to see my mom's drunk escapades, they'll probably end up calling CPS so they could take my sister away from her (and maybe even lock her up behind bars).
I'm starting to feel like my mom doesn't want me around the house anymore. Hell, maybe she wants me dead. I guess I'm not her golden child after all. Considering the argument we had yesterday, I doubt if she'll accept my apology if I were to apologize to her. Whatever bad things happen to me, I deserve that ****. It's not like I deserve sympathy anyways.

Growing up, I was always kind of an ******* to my younger sisters and sometimes my own parents but mostly to my younger sisters. I would (and still do to this day) take my pain and frustrations out on other people. My parents have considered putting us in counseling, but idek when or if they'll ever do that. Tbh, I don't think I even deserve counseling or therapy or any help whatsoever because I'm nothing but a *****. A salty, pessimistic, passive aggressive *****.
 
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This is a great community to be apart of. I became active about three years ago, despite what my join date says. I know joining new places is difficult, but everyone here is extremely welcoming to new members.

There is even a holiday event going on right now. Events are held frequently here on the forums and they are a fantastic way to familiarize yourself with the community.

Don’t be afraid to participate in the events, start new conversations topics or post in threads. We all have to start somewhere, after all.
 
get so tired with UC when they say they'll ring for my work coach thing, and I'm still waiting over 40mins and messaged them in the journal. I even gave them a house phone number and I'm still waiting.
I wanted to talk to them about the fact my employer reported my earnings wrong, causing me to get less money from UC.

I had to wait another 30 mins at work today when I didnt know whose suppose to be in. And my boss left so much washing up to do.
 
Starting out as an artist is really hard on me sometimes.

Sometimes I know how I want something to look in my head, but I have no idea how to actually draw it. I also have a problem with caring too much about small things that probably don't matter, and I end up spending like 10 minutes redrawing something over and over again when my first attempt was completely fine when I looked back on it. I don't really even know how I was able to get scouted on Newgrounds in only like 2 weeks of being on there, cause whenever I look back at most of my stuff I posted I just see ****ty sketches I crapped out in less than an hour. Idk man. I keep flip flopping on whether or not I think my art is fine or looks like **** and I have no idea what to think anymore. I still find drawing fun and I still want to do it I just feel like I don't deserve any success whatsoever from it.
 
I’m doing okay, just a little anxious.

Tomorrow I have to get up in the morning to get a few more presents. I am not looking forward to it, but at the same time I might find some stuff I need or want. Also, as much as I don’t want to admit it, getting out of the house sometimes helps.
 
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