not feeling well at all today. was doing okay earlier on in the day, but just went downhill from there and i haven't been able to get anything done today and the day has not gone how i wanted it to. i thought i was starting to feel better and less sick, and then it doubled down and gave me a pounding headache and discomfort. people once again decided to come over my house when me and the fam are ALL sick, and we have guests over constantly. when we're not sick it's literally everyday, unless we get lucky and possibly one or two days of the week we have to ourselves. its really saying something when we have guests over more days of the week than not. i get that our house is quite the gathering place, and i love all my relatives dearly, but i don't think its asking for too much not to have people invite themselves over our house pretty much every day of the week. my siblings and i, at least, only have so much energy to socialize and simply cannot keep up with this everyday, and i think its quite common knowledge not to insist on inviting yourself over a germ-infested house where everyone is sick. we do not have the energy to entertain you. we are exhausted, in pain, discomfort, and our head is spinning all-round. plus, you'll get sick too, and we don't want that.
ive been feeling very faint/dizzy lately and have been seemingly blacking out and falling to the ground these past few days. my attacks/episodes frequent, and i don't understand what goes on in my head lately. i went to my room today, turned off the light, laid on the ground while my bed was right in front of me, and started staring at the wall. my mom and sister came in my room and i couldn't even bring myself to speak. they wanted to bring me to my bed to lay down and i refused to get up and tensed up in silence. i laid there for at least 2 hours, not sleeping, not resting, just staring, and i still don't understand why. people ask me what's going on, how do i feel when it happens, and i just don't have the answer. i don't understand either, i am just as confused as them, and i am so so tired of not knowing. i just want the results of my test to be back soon, please. im hoping they call about when my mri test is scheduled, too, as i want to get it done asap. i have never been so desperate. i am so very tired right now.
