What's Bothering You?

my manic episode must've stopped because I swear now I'm in a depressive slump. I don't have that energy to keep me going, to keep me feeling positive. I'm feeling sad and a bit pessimistic. I'm complaining to myself a lot. I'm not finding joy in the things I like doing. I feel empty and isolated.

I'm also really, really dreading going back home in a few days, being here has made me realize just how awful my home is. it doesn't even feel like a home. 🫠 a strange hotel room in a city 360 miles away felt more like home.
 
This is a very minor bother, but my grandma listens to the rosary (or other religious stuff) at night very loudly and I find it difficult to sleep sometimes because of this. It’s only a temporary living situation, but she has no consideration for other people.

It doesn’t bother me that it’s religious, but it’s the fact that it’s played at almost max volume. Also, it’s really annoying how she says she can’t be homophobic or racist because she has gay/poc friends. I’m not sure what’s worse - her bigotry or the fact that LGBT folks/poc are actually friends with her??
 
Stomach and back pain kicked in around 7-8pm last night. Managed to treat with heat therapy enough to at least fall asleep, but I was awake every hour or so.

Wake up this morning and it is back to full intensity, plus symptoms that suggest I've caught my partners respiratory infection. She suggested I call in sick. I've an entire weeks worth of work to do in 2 days so that isn't feasible--somehow the most orders I've ever had in a single week in the 13 months I've been working here--because I'm on a training course Wed-Fri and there is no cover available for even one day. This timing is dreadful. 😥
 
Woke up late today, and due to recovering my cold, my ears feel so weird, feels so weird not to hear properly as before.

I was saving up for a pet plan and was sighing up, until i realised the per plan was for only one pet?? Thats £21 a month for one cat, that is insane. I can't afford that. I thought the pet plan was like £21 a month, and be able to use discounts for when I bring my cats in. Not this!
 
This is going to sound weird but I already want spring to end. For some reason I keep getting storms every weekend? It wasn't super bad last night but now I am already seeing more predictions for the next weekend...
I swear there isn't a season I can enjoy anymore. With how my luck has been, summer might just be fire season.
 
I slept really bad today. My dad treated me like I was stupid again when I told him something earlier. I texted my mom (since I can’t talk about him around him obviously) and my mom said maybe it’s time we should find our own place. My mom is really fed up with how he treats us too. That is honestly the last thing I need right now. Last night something in me snapped when I was thinking of stuff that was stressing me out for a few weeks now. Earlier I thought I was a little better, but I’m really not. I feel more stressed now.

No dms, comments or replies please.
 
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i feel like I’m not gonna get into the schools im thinking of applying too like i have good grades and a few extracurriculars but i didn’t care about taking ap classes until now and ill only be taking 2 aps next year so idk if ill get my gpa high enough to get into my dream school :,) i feel like ive kinda wasted the past 3 years
 
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I told myself that I would finish and submit my review paper tonight, theoretically it shouldn't take that long to finish taking notes and writing the paper (I actually already have half of the paper written).
but I have a horrible headache that's making me feel sick, I took my migraine med and Tylenol and it isn't helping. I'm still feeling the symptoms of influenza after almost a week now. I have no clue what to eat this evening and I don't have much of an appetite anyway. I have a bad feeling that I'll end up staying awake past midnight and I'm gonna feel miserable :,,,,,,)

I know ranting isn't helpful so I put it in a spoiler. I'm gonna try my best to stay positive, relax a little, maybe try to eat something, and finish this paper. then I can happily cry myself to sleep as I've been stressing about this for literally the last three weeks 🥹
 
love it when the delivery people pretend like they actually attempted to deliver something to u!!!! like u got up to my door to put a "we attempted to deliver" notice but can't knock???? 🫠 thanks for wasting my time waiting all day ugh 🫠
 
I was so scared of the possibility of running into a tarantula tonight in ACNH that I called rescue service to take me to the airport instead of walking there myself. :P
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Also: I feel lots of pressure with my 2025 journal.
I've been trying to update it to the current day for the past month. But there's a lot to cover. The entries are long. Right now, I'm on the February 10 entry. I feel the need to document every single day. I'm worried I'm never gonna catch up.

Another worry: I got off of ZD Forums two weeks ago without saying anything. I just dissapeared. I sort of want to update on there and say that I've moved here, but it feels wrong. At the same time, I'm worried that some people on there are wondering where I went and why I suddenly dissapeared.

Any advice? Thoughts?
 
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