What's Bothering You?

They keep giving me tube tops.
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i'm scared i'm going to become an alcoholic like my dad because i've been drinking like every day as a way to feel good and it's definitely not a way to escape reality but it just........it feels so GOOD and i'm happy and talkative after and say stupid things and idk. i don't want to be just like him, or even my mom who i love with my whole heart, but she has her own vices that i wish i could help her with. i don't want to become the person i've been afraid of becoming - which is ..... both of them honestly. i want to be different.
When I enjoy a bubbly, it's usually a hard soda or two at the end of the work week, not every week either.
 
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So, my parents force their beliefs on me. When I was 12, I came out to them as bisexual. I told my mom and she said that I was too young to even be thinking about that, but my psychiatrists have said 12-14 is when people stary exploring themselves. I told my dad and he gave me the whole "It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve".
My parents are mildly Christian. After a few long hard months of exploring myself, I found out my religion. I told my parents that I was spiritual, not religious. My mom said if you worship nature, why not worship who made nature. I was highly agitated. I then asked my dad if I could not say the blessing at dinner anymore to exercise my freedom of religion. On multiple occasions afterwards, I was forced to say the blessing. His excuse was "I want you to have a connection with God."
A few years after that, I discovered that I am gay. I am at the point in my life where I can't tell my parents that without having a blowup (we are a dysfunctional family).
My BFF is also exploring herself, and she also can't tell her parents anything because her parents are worse than mine.

Anyways, just wanted to rant :p
 

Hey there — I know I’m just some stranger on the internet but I’d just like you to know you’re incredibly brave for standing by who you truly are and believe in, regardless if it’s unsatisfactory and unpleasant in your parents’ eyes. What ultimately matters imo is being able to look in the mirror and know you’re trying to live life as your authentic self as much as possible.
 
Hey there — I know I’m just some stranger on the internet but I’d just like you to know you’re incredibly brave for standing by who you truly are and believe in, regardless if it’s unsatisfactory and unpleasant in your parents’ eyes. What ultimately matters imo is being able to look in the mirror and know you’re trying to live life as your authentic self as much as possible.
Awww, tysm! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
 
I had a neighbor that made me want to buy large, ear covering headphones. You don't want to be the one to call the cops on them. You also don't want to find kitchen knives in the back yard after a manic episode.

Only after reading this comment about earphones did I remember I've foam earplugs somewhere. Could have used those last night!

They would start WW3 if I did call the police. Someone (not me!) once reported them to the RSPCA for mistreating their dogs, and they just assumed it was me and came over to give me hell for it.
 
So, my parents force their beliefs on me. When I was 12, I came out to them as bisexual. I told my mom and she said that I was too young to even be thinking about that, but my psychiatrists have said 12-14 is when people stary exploring themselves. I told my dad and he gave me the whole "It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve".
My parents are mildly Christian. After a few long hard months of exploring myself, I found out my religion. I told my parents that I was spiritual, not religious. My mom said if you worship nature, why not worship who made nature. I was highly agitated. I then asked my dad if I could not say the blessing at dinner anymore to exercise my freedom of religion. On multiple occasions afterwards, I was forced to say the blessing. His excuse was "I want you to have a connection with God."
A few years after that, I discovered that I am gay. I am at the point in my life where I can't tell my parents that without having a blowup (we are a dysfunctional family).
My BFF is also exploring herself, and she also can't tell her parents anything because her parents are worse than mine.

Anyways, just wanted to rant :p
I'd say try to not concentrate or worry too much about it. Your parents don't need all that information right now.
 
people using "race" in casual conversations like people would be neanderthal, cro-magnon etc. based on their skin colour...that definitely creates racism if anything. ethnicity would be the things to say to be fair and it's kinda amusing the US is still these days registering your ethnicity as a race and people legitimately allows it..maybe stop keeping track of such **** and work on that level
 
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No muffins?

No I had them frozen and didn't get them out to thaw that morning.

The power did eventually turn back on like an hour later. Luckily I was able to fall back asleep considering I only had like 4 hours of sleep before the power went off and woke me up.
 
I wanted to change my signature suggesting that people who engage in the cancel culture should be lobotomized since they will never forgive celebrities or businesses for one little thing, but I don’t want to receive an infraction for prohibited content in my signature (including controversial opinions that bad). So I’m not going to do it. But I don’t get why people would engage in it. I don’t even get why they think it’s moral to engage in it (something I seek an answer to).
 
My dog. I love him to death and he's a very good boy he just desperately needs some training that we can't do. He's super hyperactive (which we all love), but it can be a bad thing cause he doesn't really listen either. Especially when it comes to food. He's gotten really bad about it.

I love him and hate to get on to him, but he's at the point where he thinks that if someone has food he's supposed to get some and won't leave whoever has it alone. My grandpa went outside with some food to eat and my dog went crazy and started scratching at the brand new blinds. I hate to use my mean voice on him, but he got yelled at and then sent upstairs to my room where we currently are (I always explain things gently to him after I yell, I know he doesn't really understand, but I feel the need to cause he's my baby).

It doesn't really help that my grandparents will complain about this as well, but then when I say that he's not gonna get human food for awhile to try and remedy this suddenly they're giving him tons or even accusing me of starving him because I said he can't have any when he has a bowl full of kibble.

He doesn't know how to come when he's called either which makes me either have to bribe him with treats to get him which I can't give to him otherwise he'll learn to only come to treats or I have to call him 3-5 times and he won't come and I have to go out and get him at like 4-5am. And he's a jumpy kind which we don't want trained out cause we love him and his hyperness, but it can be annoying. We want him to learn to calm down when we say to. Me and my mom are hoping to get him some training lessons to help with some of this.
 
Well, it’s been almost 2 months since I found out my boyfriend of 2 years was cheating on me constantly throughout our relationship, and I always like to tell myself ‘you know, I’m over it’, and I’m always angry with what he did because he hasn’t really talked to me since I found out. When he did speak to me again, he never apologized for what he did. Yet he was pity-partying his way around things and saying stuff like how relieved he was to hear I was still alive after all of this, and he cared for me so much and he hid this from me for so long because he didn’t want me hurting myself over it. I’m either really angry at him or just really upset. There are times where I so badly want to watch him crumble into tiny little pieces, watch him ruin his own life by continuing to make horrible decisions. But at the same time I go, is it worth it? No matter how miserable he is he will NEVER care about me, even though he was telling me he loved me and all these other things since I met him almost 3 years ago (it’ll be 3 years on the 24th of June lol rip). You don’t just do things like that to someone you care about, or love. It makes me really upset. Does everyone see me as weak? Is that why they hide things from me and can’t even tell me the truth? When I told his other girl he was cheating, she was so passive aggressive to me. Demanding I send her ‘legit’ proof, telling me if I was doing this to hurt him she would make sure my life was hell afterwards, etc. She said we could be friends also, but then blocked me out of nowhere saying she wanted nothing to do with him, me, or any of his friends. Yet she was dating him again about a week after this? Like... okay? How is it that I’m always getting the short end of the stick? I did NOTHING wrong and I was so loyal to him the second I fell in love with him. I never looked at anyone else the way I looked at him. Yet he chose a girl who also cheated on him over me, someone who genuinely cared and loved him unconditionally? It makes no sense. It makes no sense at all. I tell everyone I’m getting better with the biggest smile on my face, but I just... I honestly think I’m getting better at hiding how much this hurts me. It hurts and I don’t want anyone knowing that it does. Some of my friends and family don’t want to hear me talking about it at all, so I just... started to hide it? I feel like no one really understands how it hurts. Imagine spending $3,000 of your own money as someone who doesn’t make a lot of money anyways, to go see him? And always buying him things but never really receiving a whole lot of praise for it? Never once falling for anyone the way I fell for him in the 3 years I loved him. Yeah, people have similar situations but honestly? It’s... hard to believe that anyone feels the EXACT same way I do. I did so much for him and never got anything in return but his manipulation tactics kept me around. I loved him and when I got upset with him he always pinned his mistakes on me. ‘I’m this way because of you’, and that always made me feel horrible. I always apologized. A friend of mine told me, he didn’t want a relationship out of me. He wanted a possession, someone to control. Andddd I was the perfect person for that. I feel like I cannot trust anyone the way I trusted him EVER again. When this all happened, I couldn’t even trust my own mother because I remembered the night she had that discussion with him, asked him if he really loved me— but I couldn’t hear anything after that. I instantly thought she had known this whole time also. But of course she doesn’t remember a thing because she was so drunk. Plus, there were several times I wanted to leave him closer to the end of our relationship and she always encouraged me to keep him around. This is just... so annoying and I wish I didn’t have emotions:’)
 
i took a nap earlier and had a dream that really freaked me out a bit. idk if i want to actually explain it here but just kinda needed to express that i feel kinda shook.
 
My dog. I love him to death and he's a very good boy he just desperately needs some training that we can't do. He's super hyperactive (which we all love), but it can be a bad thing cause he doesn't really listen either. Especially when it comes to food. He's gotten really bad about it.

I love him and hate to get on to him, but he's at the point where he thinks that if someone has food he's supposed to get some and won't leave whoever has it alone. My grandpa went outside with some food to eat and my dog went crazy and started scratching at the brand new blinds. I hate to use my mean voice on him, but he got yelled at and then sent upstairs to my room where we currently are (I always explain things gently to him after I yell, I know he doesn't really understand, but I feel the need to cause he's my baby).

It doesn't really help that my grandparents will complain about this as well, but then when I say that he's not gonna get human food for awhile to try and remedy this suddenly they're giving him tons or even accusing me of starving him because I said he can't have any when he has a bowl full of kibble.

He doesn't know how to come when he's called either which makes me either have to bribe him with treats to get him which I can't give to him otherwise he'll learn to only come to treats or I have to call him 3-5 times and he won't come and I have to go out and get him at like 4-5am. And he's a jumpy kind which we don't want trained out cause we love him and his hyperness, but it can be annoying. We want him to learn to calm down when we say to. Me and my mom are hoping to get him some training lessons to help with some of this.
I feel this, I have a 4 month old golden puppy rn and luckily he's been easy to train (though idk what kind of dog you have, i know that goldens tend to be easy to cooperate with and train). He does come to me when I say come since I trained him to do "stay" and "come here" when he was really young. I'm still working with him on people interactions: he always gets too excited and wants to jump on everyone cause he doesn't see others very often (kinda hard to do w a quarantine lol). He does alright if he's around others for like 5-6 min but I need him to learn to always be calm around strangers.

And about "people food," I totally get it. Luckily my parents have cooperated with me just enough that they won't give my dog their food, even though my dad has tried to give him stuff on multiple occasions. At four months old he only begs like 30% of the time, and by the time he's an adult he probably wont beg at all. It's very difficult to train a dog not to beg once they've been spoiled with people food.

Insomnia is killing me tonight. I took my sleeping meds but it's 3am and I'm still very much not tired. And when I thought that maybe I could start to fall asleep then my poor pupper puked on his blanket on my bed, so I had to get him off the bed and clean that up. Now I'm just sitting here, practically wide awake and feeling too uncomfortable to fall asleep. :/
 
my last living grandparent died from the corona virus a week ago and normalcy doesn't feel possible anymore
there are moments im smiling or happy throughout my day but im still crying myself to sleep at night
she was in her 80s and she was so strong with the energy of someone young
it just felt like she still had so many more years left in her
 
I’m having an identity crisis. I was a nice member on this forum who was more contributive. Now I have became a mean troll who posted some highly controversial stuff (which I do believe, but I wouldn’t share them under normal circumstances). I don’t know what to do here.
 
I saw an ant crawling on my laptop screen and now I'm having anxiety over it by thinking there are more and they are biting me.
 
It’s raining and I can’t sleep but I really need to sleep but the rain is just so loud it’s 4 AM I just want sleep
 
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