What's Bothering You?

I'm even lonelier than usual, but I don't feel like talking to any of my friends.
 
My enrollment for university is still on October and I'm looking at the organizations offered in my uni and I'm both excited and overwhelmed at how many organizations there are. Coming from a small, provincial area and going to a more urbanized area for uni is both so cool and terrifying.
 
I should be asleep right now. but instead I just spent the last hour (and a half possibly) listening to a conversation that I had no part in, constantly thinking "man I wish someone would talk to me."

that's one of the mice things about being at home. my mom understands that I like to talk but I can't initiate a conversation (nor can I nudge my way into an existing conversation) so if I'm just standing there she will ask me whats up. ofc here they don't know that so I just stood in one place like a block of wood, prob looking stupid cause I wasn't saying anything.

idk I need someone to talk to, but that only seems to happen if the person I'm with has absolutely no one else to talk to. I know im not really interesting but good lord they could at least try to say something to me.
 
have to work 9 days straight also there was a RAT sniffing my hair last night?! and i watched it run out of my room after i freaked out and literally no one believes me i'll just kms i hate it here
 
My grandmother just called and asked if I wanted a kitten. Apparently it's feral, hates being handled, and has never used a litter box. But it's half the size of its littermates, gets swatted away by its mother, and is just all around pathetic looking. I have a dog. Money isn't exactly flowing freely atm. I can't take the risk of this thing infecting me with a bite or a scratch or passing parasites to the dog. She knows these things. But she feels bad for it, and freaking misery loves company I guess because she felt the need to ask. Now I'm in a terrible head space and crying because I can't take care of this cat and I feel bad too.
 
I had a party last night and woke up to a bowl of puke on my coffee table. I just bought that bowl last week & now I think I gotta throw it out lmao. I don't have the guts to dump it out and clean it ugh
 
I keep flaking out on lessons and making excuses because I haven’t practiced and I know I shouldn’t do that and honestly I feel like my teacher is annoyed. I forgot that today was the lesson and said I was sick (which I am a little) and I feel really bad
 
I had a migraine :/ probably need to spend less time on video games...
 
Dunno if it's twitter or just certain forums but twitter sure breaks their own image urls in most browsers...
 
I'm not ready to go back to work tomorrow. My coworker just left on Friday which made me feel depressed for multiple reasons. It's always hard seeing someone leave and start a new chapter in their life because I want to do that myself instead of feeling stuck in a rut.

Also, on a different note I am mad at myself for being a bad friend at times. I am just awful at messaging and haven't sent my friend a message in almost a month. I know he has a family to take care of, but the repeated times of him having to cancel, not show up, or be late to our gaming sessions just really bottled up over time. When we actually do get to play it's like an hour at most with constant mic complications and family interruptions. I don't know, I guess I just got really tired of it and am afraid to talk to him because I am afraid of him asking for another game session. He's a really good guy overall. I don't need to play games with him to be his friend. I should just talk to him again. I just don't have an excuse why I didn't message him for so long.
 
have to work 9 days straight also there was a RAT sniffing my hair last night?! and i watched it run out of my room after i freaked out and literally no one believes me i'll just kms i hate it here
oh god I thought 6 days in a row was bad. Good luck!! Hopefully it will be over quick enough!

I'm so clumsy...I've got scrapes and cuts all over my hands, a burn that's still healing from last week, random bruises and now I just burnt my elbow at work?? Who tf burns their elbow ffs 🙃
 
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