Dunquixote
Hiatus
I can relate. In high school and even now, I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and am having trouble getting a job to hire me because of anxiety and other mental issues I have. My mom had to literally drag me out of bed to get me to go to school since it was so bad and kids always treated me different; not sure if it’s because of my different interests or because of my ethnicity or my personality.honestly lately i feel like a complete and utter embarrassment to anyone that matters and i highkey just want to disappear but ik i can’t do that so
This may not be much help, but I want to tell you to hang in there as best as you can. There are people out there that care and that will not think you’re an utter embarrassment. It would help to have more confidence in yourself too, though I have no confidence in myself either and know that’s easier said than done.
I have been having a similar mentality with my job and living with my parents and anxiety lately, as well as posting on twitter or trying to chat on discord like on Eriker Harlacher’s discord channel. I kinda feel like I’m not welcome there when I try talking (Erika herself has been very nice though
), or when I try posting my opinion on twitter, no one seems to care (but i have few followers lol). I realize that this is all in my head though and it shouldn’t matter to me what people think and that I should find things that make me happy and be myself.Sorry if this is all over the place and if any of that didn’t make sense or sounded dumb ><. just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone feeling that way.
i feel like we’re very similar tbh, when i was in high school i ended up missing soooo much school, and nearly my entire senior year, bc of anxiety and depression that just overtook me and removed all motivation i had to do pretty much anything. i graduated in 2018 but i still feel like i’m that same sad 17 year old i was back then sometimes. i’ve always felt out of place too, and wondered why. sometimes i wonder if it’s bc i’m so stuck inside my head. my confidence has grown in some ways since high school, but it’s still low obviously haha. i’m having job / home anxiety too, i literally just resigned from my (****ty cashier) job bc of poor mental health that i’ve been letting fester for way too long, but in turn that’s gonna make my mom really disappointed bc she wants me to move out. she doesn’t even know yet. i feel like i’m letting everyone down tbh and it’s an awful feeling. i just wanna try n make it as an artist, that’s the only way i’ll be able to enjoy working but my mental health is so bad rn idk what to do. this is long n depressing i literally just started venting but tysm for the kind words it’s nice to hear that someone can relate even though it feels bad man.
you’re right; that’s exactly how I feel even though my mom tells me she is never embarrassed of me and that i can do anything that i put my mind to. the problem is that i am lacking a lot of will/courage even though I want to change. My mom doesn’t seem to understand some of my anxiety sometimes, like my OCD and that I get sick and literally can’t bring myself to do any cleaning tasks that jobs may require me to do or the smells at restaurants or fast food places. She has been trying hard to understand me better, though she still pushes me to try to apply for anything and doesn’t seem to get that i get nauseous with smells or seeing filth like food spills, gum, drink spills or just dirt and bugs. :/ The only job that sounds like I could do aside from needing to come up with ideas on the spot is voice acting and the classes cost thousands of dollars :/.
