What's Bothering You?

i feel like i have no friends, no creativity, no nothing, and absolutely no ****ing energy to change any of that. i don’t have the energy or the motivation to do anything anymore, whether that be something i enjoy or taking care of myself. i used to be an aspiring author and now i can barely string sentences together, let alone come up with any ideas for things to write about. i used to love doing my makeup and now every single product i own stays untouched. i used to be a ****ing person and now i’m a ghost.

i wanna leave the forums so bad; i don’t belong here. i wanna pack my bags up in the middle of the night and leave because i don’t belong in this apartment either. i have absolutely no patience for my parents or for the two kittens i’m supposed to adore. i’m expected to be their mom and i can’t. i don’t have it in me to do that. i love them, but i adored my late cat, and her death has ruined me. i feel nothing anymore except blinding rage. i have no fight left in me, and my bones are screaming at me to move, to do something, but i can’t.

she was supposed to have surgery on friday. she was supposed to live. and now she’s in an urn, being referred to as “that other cat we used to have” by my father. i have no desire to do for the kittens the things i did for her. i don’t want to stay up all night with them or cuddle them. i don’t want to hear their purrs; i want to hear hers. i just want her. that’s all i ****ing wanted. i shouldn’t have let my mom adopt them because this isn’t fair to them, but she just wouldn’t stop screeching about wanting another cat. and i mean literally ****ing screeching. she adores them, but i do not. i don’t know how. i don’t want to do this anymore.

she was all i had. i’ve been saying that for so long, but i didn’t realize just how true it was until she died. i want to go with her.
 
Last edited:
I feel like my flatmates dislike me with a passion lol. I just get bad vibes from them sometimes. I sometimes wonder if I'm better off alone. I've been isolating myself a lot lately and I'm not sure if it's healthy.
 
Anxiety about what's going to happen with work now that both of my team leads are gone. The newly appointed ones will take some time to get into their position. Also just thinking about my life and what I need to do to make the next step. I've felt stuck where I currently am, but the main obstacle is me. I am afraid of change and am very hesitant to do anything that will create change.
 
I’m afraid of being outed publicly for something I never did. That fear has been in the back of my mind for years, but it’s particularly bad right now.
 
Neb said:
I’m afraid of being outed publicly for something I never did. That fear has been in the back of my mind for years, but it’s particularly bad right now.
Click to expand...

Trust in God/Higher Power etc. I used to struggle with this too. I lived with a narcissist a few years ago and that person gaslighted me and made me out to be something that I wasn't to others and everything. But over time I realized my connection with God was weak during that time for various resons and I worked on trusting in God more and on my divine rights and that helped a lot. I don't really concern myself with being called out for something that's not in alignment with Truth anymore directly as a result of the strength of my connection with and faith of God etc. Education, Faith and Eradication of Self-Doubt are major keys.

This might help you as well:
 
RoxasFan20 said:
Felt like I just made everyone upset for stupid stuff I have said....I can't even think properly....
Click to expand...
i honestly agreed with u tbh and im saying this as someone whos a girl
and, rlly, i can see where both sides r coming from, at one point i identified as a man and would always see ppl online talking badly abt boys and it always made me feel very trashy about myself
but at the same time, since i was still presenting as a girl irl for my safety, and ive read some awful stories abt things happening to girls, AND having the worst anxiety and paranoia, id be very wary of men / boys when im walking outside esp since im young
it sucks for sure, but thats just how it has to be ig
i put it all in a spoiler bc its long but those r my opinions and i didn't put it in the thread since it's deleted lol
 
happy that my galaxy s21 is coming in a few weeks after i just found out it was backordered but im scared that people at school are going to make fun of me for having an android.
 
Beanz said:
happy that my galaxy s21 is coming in a few weeks after i just found out it was backordered but im scared that people at school are going to make fun of me for having an android.
Click to expand...

I have a galaxy s20 and I stay chillin with it lol if that makes you feel any better. Androids are mad cool.
 
Alienfish said:
does that matter though. i'm not a samsung dude at all but hey if you found a phone you're good with and it works?
Click to expand...
yeah im happy with it’s purchase but i’m just worried im going to be a bullying target because androids are seen as unpopular/bad among my age range. i know it’s dumb to be worried about this but at least i don’t buy what everyone else has just because its cool
 
xara said:
i think i’m gonna leave the forums, or at least take a break or not be on as often as i am. i don’t belong here lol.
Click to expand...
big fat mood though. i wish to you the best :)
Post automatically merged:

Beanz said:
yeah im happy with it’s purchase but i’m just worried im going to be a bullying target because androids are seen as unpopular/bad among my age range. i know it’s dumb to be worried about this but at least i don’t buy what everyone else has just because its cool
Click to expand...
well ask them to do a drop challenge and see whose phone actually doesn't break :lemon:

honestly i think you should buy what you're happy with and don't give a **** about those idiots.
 
idk what my deal is but i keep feeling this odd sensation, like I shouldn't be living. living is such a strange thing and it can all end so abruptly. I feel like it really doesn't have any meaning, and someday it won't mean anything anyways. I don't want to do anything more. no desire to work or learn or anything. I'm merely existing and I'm not gonna lie it kinda hurts. I wish I didn't feel this way.
 
Callbacks for the musical I auditioned for should be sent out anytime now. I'm getting super stressy-panicky right now.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Chronos314_XD
Do You Enjoy the Holidays?
2 3
Replies
41
Views
764
ShadowLelouch97
ShadowLelouch97
Suguri
How do you maintain a schedule?
Replies
11
Views
239
Corrie
Corrie
Chronos314_XD
Web Series Thread
Replies
6
Views
385
axaniao
axaniao
Alolan_Apples
Worst Fanfiction you ever read?
2
Replies
23
Views
596
chocovelvetcake
chocovelvetcake
Airysuit
  • Poll
What kind of breakfast do you eat?
2 3 4
Replies
67
Views
732
Soigne
Soigne
Back
Top