What's Bothering You?

had another chat w my SO, I mean my ex, this evening. long story short he's still being ridiculous and acting foolish. he refuses to seek professional help, and I told him if he doesn't then our relationship will never work again. I just can't handle all his problems and emotions, on top of all the bs I put up with anyways. if he wants to get mad bc I'm putting my own sanity first then that's his problem.

and if he doesn't stop trying to put me on a guilt trip then I dare say I might not even talk to him for a while. the last thing I need in my life rn is more toxicity. he's really getting on my nerves and I'm not gonna take it lightly if he continues.
 
Well, I've officially reached a new low. There isn't enough time in a day to get everything done that I have to do, and I'm having less and less energy to do those things each day. What the **** did I do to deserve this?
 
One of my friends called me at 4 a.m. without warning and sent an aggressive message saying “pog, go off” when I declined. I then apologized and told them I needed to sleep. They then replied with “I’m not mad. Go sleep.” I tried rescheduling today only to be told they have a “study date” at the time time I suggested. I asked for an alternative and heard nothing back. This is the same person who ghosted me for days because I asked if they wanted to play a video game with me. Do they only want to hang out when they want to?

I might have a terrible sleep schedule, but I don’t want to be called at ridiculous times of the day unless it’s urgent.
 
I bought chicken mushroom today and apparently it had bones... I thought chicken mushrooms were supposed to be boneless : (

Also I hate my duty schedule because it feels unfair. They put me for the weekend shift in the final schedule when I initially wasn't decked there. People who were supposed to be on weekend sched get a free pass at changing their schedule because of non-emergencies, but when I said "My family is coming over to visit me for the weekend,", they went "Oh I hope you can find someone who can switch for you <3" like? I wasn't even the one who was initially decked for the weekend and I have proof, and the people who got removed off the weekend sched didn't have good enough reasons for it as far as I know. If I find them going out on a party/outing on Saturday while I'm stuck covering their shift, I'm going to be so angry. I'm an understanding person and I rarely ask for favors, and the one time I ask for a favor I immediately get shut down. I'm thankful my family is understanding, but I'm still annoyed.
 
Someone very close to me is leaving. I've known him since 8th grade. I'm really going to miss him, and it's very upsetting to me. I really hope he changes his mind.

Edit: He's leaving Thursday.
 
Last edited:
at this point, i feel that i need to stop having aspirations for the future because it seems that when i do, i come to the extremely harsh realization that it probably wouldn't even work out or that it simply just cant be done because of my disability. and it really hurts.
 
Last edited:
Just a bad day on memory. It isn't that way all the time. Just, often I guess...
 
is it weird that I'm getting tired of reading about anime stuff in my news feed? like I keep seeing articles about MHA and DragonBall and I'm like 😫😫 I honestly feel bad bc I'm sure they're good, I think it's bc my ex talked abt it constantly and now I associate it with him so I don't like to hear about it.
 
I quit my job of 6 or 7 years, because I couldn't handle all the stuff with the aforementioned friend who drove drunk the other night. Basically told my boss that I needed to remove myself entirely from the situation for my own clarity. I've been too close to her for too long (we have a history of being romantically involved)...there is so much more to it than that, but the short end of the story is that she is spiraling, and I will go right along with her if I'm close to it. - This might sound like I'm abandoning her in her time of need, but she has been pushing me away for a solid month anyway (probably closer to a month and a half). - I told her I quit, and told her why, and she actually said "I wonder if you really did quit or not." (As if to suggest that I was only lying to get a reaction or something). It has been so hard with her. It really pains me deeply.

She really was/is my best friend. We went from doing everything together, to her constantly telling me that she needed space, which I tried to give her. (If she is dating someone, I don't mind...I always tried to communicate clearly with her)...but she is at a point where it feels like I barely matter to her anymore, and I don't understand this at all. But I won't be party to it any longer (even if being out of work is going to be very difficult for me)...I will manage. - It just wasn't working with her ignoring me outside of work and then acting like we were still close when she would see me at work. It left me feeling gaslit and used. And other people were noticing this as well. The entire situation was getting too bizarre to continue.
 
Last edited:
The manager I don’t get along with is talking very loudly to one of his coworker friends. He’s going to order Chinese food with his group of friends on Friday. I’m friends with one of his friends and he clearly feels some type of way about me. He blatantly said to his friend that he’d rather her work with him because they’re friends. I’m trying to be cordial with him and even tried to be friends at one point but he doesn’t want to give me the time of day, or at least it seems that way. I can’t “be friends” with him if he doesn’t want to be cordial with me. It bothers me because he seems to want to talk with everyone else, but I’m here to work. I do my job. There’s a reason I’m getting 40+ hours a week ONLY washing dishes. I worked hard to get to this position. When I first started, I was told I couldn’t get full-time as a dish. Now, that same person is giving me 40+ hours.

I don’t know why he feels this way about me. I don’t know if I’m jumping to conclusions. I just feel that he doesn’t like me as a person, and it sucks when I care about what other people think of me.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top