What's Bothering You?

I had some kind of really bad vertigo type episode today where the room felt like it was literally spinning I was so dizzy and I don’t mean that lightly, the room felt like it was actually legitimately spinning and the ground felt like it was coming up to meet me and I was being pulled down it was very scary. It literally hit me out of nowhere. My friend in another state doordashed me some pedialyte and Dramamine to help in case of electrolyte imbalance and for dizziness, so I’m hopefully I can sleep tonight. I’m afraid to close my eyes though because I’m afraid I’ll feel the room spinning again if I do. I think I’m through the worst of it but it still unsettled me
 
I’m just sick of hearing about everything that’s wrong with me by my mother. I keep questioning if the things she’s saying is true and if I actually am an ungrateful piece of ****.

I feel like I’m improving but I’m instantly brought down by people thinking that nothing’s changed.
 
It feels like we are having a series of bad luck with our pets at the moment.

Found blood in one of my kitten's stool this morning. Strongly suspect it is Delta. I couldn't observe them today as I had work, and this evenings samples have been inconclusive in confirming which kitty it is.

Luckily they are already both booked in at the vets tomorrow at 10AM for their second vaccines and microchipping, so I rang the practice to make sure the appointment would be long enough for this to be investigated too and the receptionist put a note on it for the vet as a heads-up. I hope I can identify which kitten it is by then - my partner and I are tag-teaming watching them so we can both shower and do chores.

Didn't think we'd be dealing with health issues this soon after bringing them home. Fingers-crossed the cause is minor and we get kitty identified and the problem resolved quickly. Then hopefully no more vet visits until they get neutered in spring. 🙏

In happier news it has been 8 days since we started treating Sebastian's wounds and they are healing extremely well. He has even stopped trying to scratch at them (how he got most of them in the first place). 😊
 
I lowkey feel like I'm nothing but an irresponsible jackass just waiting to screw things up. I'll never truly be a mature, responsible adult in this life, thanks to my really bad anxiety and low self-esteem.

Maybe I'm just simply not cut out to be this mature, responsible adult I expect myself to be. There's so many adults my age, maybe even younger, who have their crap together better than me.

As far as I know, I don't really know too many adults irl who can relate to my struggles as a young adult trying to get their life together. Hell, maybe there could be adults out there that are struggling with things that I don't even know about.
 
It feels like we are having a series of bad luck with our pets at the moment.

Found blood in one of my kitten's stool this morning. Strongly suspect it is Delta. I couldn't observe them today as I had work, and this evenings samples have been inconclusive in confirming which kitty it is.

Luckily they are already both booked in at the vets tomorrow at 10AM for their second vaccines and microchipping, so I rang the practice to make sure the appointment would be long enough for this to be investigated too and the receptionist put a note on it for the vet as a heads-up. I hope I can identify which kitten it is by then - my partner and I are tag-teaming watching them so we can both shower and do chores.

Didn't think we'd be dealing with health issues this soon after bringing them home. Fingers-crossed the cause is minor and we get kitty identified and the problem resolved quickly. Then hopefully no more vet visits until they get neutered in spring. 🙏

In happier news it has been 8 days since we started treating Sebastian's wounds and they are healing extremely well. He has even stopped trying to scratch at them (how he got most of them in the first place). 😊

Okay wee update.

Vet isn't worried. Delta has a raised temperature (not a fever) and they suspect he's still clearing the worms he was born with - I didn't manage to get the full dose of the oral dewormer in him last month. They were due more dewormer today, but instead gave me the spot-on to apply at home on Tuesday as it needs to go in the same spot they had their microchips inserted. I've been told if I see more blood after Friday to get in touch.

Seb's wounds were checked and the vet was very happy with how well they are healing.

Post-vax naps. 💕
20241116-130208.jpg

Fingers-crossed for no more vets visits until they get neutered. 🤞
 
Okay wee update.

Vet isn't worried. Delta has a raised temperature (not a fever) and they suspect he's still clearing the worms he was born with - I didn't manage to get the full dose of the oral dewormer in him last month. They were due more dewormer today, but instead gave me the spot-on to apply at home on Tuesday as it needs to go in the same spot they had their microchips inserted. I've been told if I see more blood after Friday to get in touch.

Seb's wounds were checked and the vet was very happy with how well they are healing.
I'm so glad they're doing well! I hope they get even better soon 😁
Post-vax naps. 💕
20241116-130208.jpg

Fingers-crossed for no more vets visits until they get neutered. 🤞
They are so cute what 😭❤️
 
I will most likely never believe I’m a good person. My mom says I’m a bad person. If she says that, it might be true. 🙃

She says I’m controlling because I don’t want her friend in the house she pays for. The friend that makes advances on me. The one who continues to call me my deadname after asking him not to. But then I’m a ***** for asking him to call me a different name when it’s ‘not a big deal.’

The friend says it’s disrespectful that I want to change the beautiful name I have that was given to me and that I should die. I’m sick of hearing that I don’t deserve respect and that I didn’t earn any amount of it given to me.
 
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unfortunately i do not really like my job anymore. i've put in a few applications elsewhere, but i haven't heard back from them. i suspect it has something to do with me only having been at my current place for about 6 months but it's really just not a great fit. hoping i'll hear something soon. i really need a change of pace.
 
I've intense pain in my neck and shoulder. No idea what I've done to it but I don't think hauling around that cat carrier earlier did it any good. Cannot get comfortable in any position and painkillers aren't helping.

I managed to doze off for a half hour on the couch (relief!) then the ASDA delivery driver woke me.
 
I’m trying to avoid politics now and even before the election, but I keep coming across it and being triggered. I wish there was a way to hide topics and certain words from showing up (on the internet in general).

I wish I could wake up without panicking and without the depression. I’m tired of being sad and my mental health issues. I should be better later since I still have to take my medicine and playing Persona 5 has been a good distraction. I just wish I could be okay right away.
 
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It was a terrible day and I'm literally 🤏 this close to quiting my job and dropping out of college because I CANNOT take these people for a SECOND longer 🥲
Oh and my car didn't start this morning for like the 4th time in 2 weeks so I had to get an extremely last minute ride. So basically everything. Everything is bothering me🙃 not having a good time tbh.
 
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