What's Bothering You?

I’m feeling really down on myself on my lack of progress in my art and violin. Like skill wise. I feel like I’ve been completely stagnant for a long time and am never improving
 
My mom told me that I'm the coldest person she's ever met... that I don't show emotion. That respect has to be earned and I didn't earn a lick of it. I hate being told that I don't deserve to be loved or respected by anyone.

I don't show emotion? If anything, I show too much emotion. If I don't show emotion, why am I on the verge of tears when somebody tells me that they're proud of me? If I don't show emotion, why am I having panic attacks over being treated like **** by someone that's supposed to love me? If I don't show emotion, why is this whole situation bothering me so much?
 
I wish people can stop using hate speech when they post comments on the news. I was reading an article about how a former Disney employee got arrested for hacking into the company’s computers to expose customers to peanut allergies. And then I read the comments section.

Because this was an article about Disney on a conservative website, the comments section were full of off-topic comments that were hateful towards the company and the left-wing, instead of focusing on the criminal. And when they did focus on the criminal, they got unnecessarily transphobic. I even reported one of the comments as a guest reader.
 
Today has been awful. I don't even want to talk about it just now. It has just sucked. Work and evening.

Sebastian (kitten) is my everything. I'd give up everything else in my life before him. That's a promise I'll never go back on.
 
One of my bigger regrets (in my so far short life)

My older cousin had 'problems' so to speak. He wanted a game console and I promised to get him an Xbox 360. Which would have been a big deal since he hadn't gotten to play a more modern console. Although I already had the console, I couldn't find the correct plugs for him and I began to procrastinate.

One day he overdosed and died. Just like that. And I never got him the console because I put it off.

I didn't keep the promise and it was my fault because I took for granted how fragile and temporary life can be. It still pops into my head occasionally. I was thinking of him today.
 
Goblet squats are the devil. My legs ache like hell.

Busy day. Got home an hour late. I wish tomorrow was Saturday. Or Sunday, as I've social plans Saturday I can't get out of.

Still firm in my decision that if I'm ever made to pick between Sebastian or my partner/home, I'm getting us out of here. My baby boy comes first. I really hope it doesn't come to that.

Time to pour a glass of wine, shut off from the world, and cuddle a cat.
 
My hip hurts so bad today that I can't walk, it's my sister's birthday and I want to go out and do stuff with her plus have museum plans tomorrow. I hope it gets better soon. ):

Edit: took it easy today and it's feeling a lot better now!
 
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Vros idk I got a good amount of sleep last night after actually getting tired at a decent hour than i wake up stay up for a lil while and then take a long nap and have a horrible nightmare and then wake up and eat and now i feel like i’m gonna crash again what is wrong with me,,,,
 
Isabelle doesn't want to give me my 5 stars because there are too many items on the ground but won't tell me what are they:
There are no drop items, no fruits, no tools, no stones, iron, wood etc What it is Isabelle!?
 
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