What's Bothering You?

It was a terrible day and I'm literally 🤏 this close to quiting my job and dropping out of college because I CANNOT take these people for a SECOND longer 🥲
Oh and my car didn't start this morning for like the 4th time in 2 weeks so I had to get an extremely last minute ride. So basically everything. Everything is bothering me🙃 not having a good time tbh.
 
My mood keeps going down way more easily this year. I'm tired of everything being wrong. My anxiety is up for very specific reasons that I am not sure I should even say. Unhealthy rants happen in my head occasionally due to the way the world is and there isn't really a way to escape it because something will always trigger it again eventually. I wish I could live in a world where everyone could get along and not be constantly fooled by lies and misinformation and whatever else is going on. That world does not exist.
I don't even use social media and these problems still come to me. I don't think there's anything I can do.
 
This is really really petty, but I really didn't like how I wrapped up playing Among Us as the imposter after being crewmate for the whole night. It usually doesn't hit me so hard, but this time it did especially after dealing with a few disconnections throughout the session. I want to apologize to those I played with even though I wasn't being rude. 😞
 
My progress report card came this morning, and my parents saw my grades. They (the grades) weren't really the worst, but I still feel bad about them because I feel like it's my fault they're like this.

I can't bring myself to do what my school requires me to because I'm just so tired of everything, and even on the weekends when I have plenty of time to get it done, my family keeps pressuring me to work on house chores instead, and I get so irritated my procrastination gets worse. I wish I wasn't so stubborn about changing myself, especially when it's for my own good.

Also, I still miss my partner and I don't know how long it'll take until our relationship goes back to normal. I know deep down that they still care, but it's never felt the same for me ever since they got that job. 💔

EDIT: I don't want to hurt my partner's feelings in case they read this, so I want to add this: what I was saying earlier was that I'm worried about us.
 
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My mom told me that I'm the coldest person she's ever met... that I don't show emotion. That respect has to be earned and I didn't earn a lick of it. I hate being told that I don't deserve to be loved or respected by anyone.

I don't show emotion? If anything, I show too much emotion. If I don't show emotion, why am I on the verge of tears when somebody tells me that they're proud of me? If I don't show emotion, why am I having panic attacks over being treated like **** by someone that's supposed to love me? If I don't show emotion, why is this whole situation bothering me so much?
 
I wish people can stop using hate speech when they post comments on the news. I was reading an article about how a former Disney employee got arrested for hacking into the company’s computers to expose customers to peanut allergies. And then I read the comments section.

Because this was an article about Disney on a conservative website, the comments section were full of off-topic comments that were hateful towards the company and the left-wing, instead of focusing on the criminal. And when they did focus on the criminal, they got unnecessarily transphobic. I even reported one of the comments as a guest reader.
 
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