1000 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart

[Alienfish]

Quickscope all the doritos bags, then pour mtn dew over them and drag it around the store with a floor mop smoking weed and shouting 'MLG TURTS YO'

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Walk up to a random person and advertise birth control pills to them.

 

[Alienfish]

Walk up to a random person and advertise birth control pills to them.

then offer them a free pregnancy test

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Hand out expensive wine and vodka to people who look like alcoholics/druggies and then tell them you bought it.

 

[Alienfish]

Hand out expensive wine and vodka to people who look like alcoholics/druggies and then tell them you bought it.

LOL.

Open a free wine testing stand in the kids section and offer samples of red wine whenever someone on their 10-12 or teens passes by

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Knock down everything on shelves, screeching every minute or so. Then hop on the shelf and sit like a frog would, and croak at random people who pass by.

 

[Alienfish]

Show obvious leftish-angled political documentaries about the Vietnam war on the ad screens and shout DOWN WITH COMMERCIALISM whenever someone objects.

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Jump on people's back, then scream: "ONWARDS, MY PINTO. TO VICTORY!" and then jump down, and come back to them and throw a wet mop at their head.

 

[Alienfish]

Skate around on floor mops covered in sriracha sauce and shout I AM A (your name) AND I DO WHAT I WANT

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Pop all the balloons and deflate all the bouncy balls, then when someone questions what you're doing, or security comes to kick you out, thrash about and squirm and scream, "THE AIR GODDESS IS NOT PLEASED. SHE WILL GET YOU ONE DAY." then stare at people creepily before making a grand exit.

 

[Alienfish]

Steal all the books and replace them with communist/marxist etc. literature.

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Yell through the intercom, "EVERYONE! GET OUT! THERE'S A KILLER IN HERE!" and then lock the doors so people can't get out, then laugh maniacally and claim that it was a prank.

 

[GalacticGhost]

Repeatedly yelling 'PK FIRE' while setting everything on fire.

 

[Alienfish]

Pour really hot and spicy sauce in the cashiers' eyes and steal all the money and buy whatever the hell you want.

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

Smear on random makeup and put on huge fake lashes, and then yell at a random person, "DO I LOOK SEXY"

 

[Alienfish]

play the song 'da ya think im sexy' in the loudspeakers and run around naked screeching at random people

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

play the song 'da ya think im sexy' in the loudspeakers and run around naked screeching at random people

you are my savior.

Scream at people while clawing at their faces, claiming you are a cat dressed as a human.

 

[Alienfish]

make a dress out of veggies and dance in the middle of the store and shout DOWN WITH MEAT DOWN WITH MEAT

 

[MapleLeafKangaroos]

make a dress out of veggies and dance in the middle of the store and shout DOWN WITH MEAT DOWN WITH MEAT

oh my god my abs hurt from laughing so hard

Begin yelling in gibberish at people, and spit at them when they question you.

 

[Alienfish]

the same you're da mlg wal mart player. -rolls around on floor-

Burn all pro-American literature in a fire in the middle of store and start singing African protest songs. If you get caught, yell 'VIVA (african country)!!' and point your finger at the guards.