Giveaway 575 tbt Christmas giveaway

[LinkToTheWorld]

So it's nearly Christmas and I have a lot of tbt just building up doing nothing...so this will be the first of a few giveaways which I will hold over the next few weeks.
Updated There will now be 3 winners for this giveaway...as I'm finding a lot of these jokes are very good

1st prize - 350 tbt
2nd prize - 150 tbt
3rd prize - 75tbt



To enter, just tell me your favourite joke and I'll pick with 3 I like the best

Closing date - 13th December 6pm GMT (approx, might be a little earlier). Will extend the date if there aren't enough entries by then

I will announce the winners on this thread before closing and sending out private messages and the tbt

Good luck!

And Merry Christmas!

Edit Added a 3rd place prize

 

[Malaxy]

This joke is from preschool but I still find it hilarious and some people still fall for it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken.

 

[Chiisanacx]

Why can't t-rexes use their arms?
Person: Because their arms are short?
Me: No because they're dead

 

[That Marshal Fangirl]

A fat woman went to the doctor. He asked her why she was there. "I was riding a horse and I fell off and hurt myself," she replied. The doctor's response: "Is the horse ok?!"

 

[Bcat]

why can't you give elsa a balloon?
because she'll just let it go

 

[Keara]

A guy walks into a bar :
He say "Hi it's me!"
But in fact it was not him.


...
clapclap

 

[nammie]

How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello?
Konnichihuahua!!!

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

Loving the jokes so far keep them coming

 

[HiBriana]

Horrible jokes that are funny lol, i can get my punny-ness out the way

What happens when you put nutella on salmon?
.
.
You get salmonella.

What did baby corn say to mommy corn?
.
.
Where's popcorn?

 

[OLoveLy]

This is the story of 2 schtroumpfs, one of them run, fall and has a bruise.It's a simple joke

 

[franzi]

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

 

[Kaiserin]

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid SOB!

 

[Awesomeness1230]

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick

 

[supercataleena]

Oh god. This is so difficult since there are two jokes that I love so much.....but if I have to choose, I guess I will pick this one.

Why couldn't the Banana and Apple get married?

Spoiler

Because the cantaloupe

This joke is better when you say it aloud. xD

In case you don't get the joke read the spoiler below

Spoiler

The answer is a joke that is meant to make sense when you say it aloud. So, when you say "Because the cantaloupe" it is supposed to sound like "Because they can't elope" XD..And just in case you don't know what elope means..
e?lope
əˈlōp/
verb
run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent.

HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA.
I get everyone every time with that joke. People LOVE it.

 

[idiotdoomspiral]

i found this on google images when i was looking for funny top notch jokes for healthy chuckles and to cheat my way to the top



i don't know what it says but i hope it makes you laugh

 

[macaire]

Okay so my good friend went to a wedding last weekend and did all the normal wedding stuff. He talked to some friends and he started to get hungry. So he goes to the salad line and he waits for a while there. The line moves slowly. Finally he gets his salad and gets in the meat line. That line also goes slow. Finally he has all his food and realizes he needs a drink, but there is no punch line.

 

[mondogecko9]

My friends tell me that I don't listen to them... Or something like that.

 

[pinkcotton]

Ah, how I miss our weekly trades Link! ^-^ This is so sweet of you. My favorite joke:
"One vodka, please"
"Sir, this is McDonalds."
"McVodka then."
Merry Christmas!

 

[huuussein]

not really my favourite, but fitting with the christmas theme!
What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

Great jokes so far everyone!
Going to add a 3rd prize to the original post as there's quite a few that I really like at the moment

Keep it going