Dealing with social anxiety.

[Drakyem]

Hello to whoever that is reading this post. I'd like to express myself here and share my experience with social anxiety, and also read about yours, if you have it, or just to read your opinions. Thank you.

So, as far as I know, I've been dealing with this since I had 13 years old. Due to important changes in my life (like moving to another house and change to another school on the middle of the school year), I developed this disorder. My new companions in the school received me very well, I don't think that were a problem, but I moved to my grandma's house, and she mistreated us, my mom and me, psychologically. I think that's were all started. I didn't like to go out for just a walk, I felt (and I still feel) judged by people on the street... So, well, now whenever I have to go out, I start to feel anxious if anyone gets closer and closer to me, and my heart goes crazy. If I have to talk with someone, I start sttutering and mt hands begin to sweat...
I stay all the day inside my house, playing videogames, listening to music, watching videos... I just go out to walk the dog, and very late, because that way I don't encounter with anyone. I tried to go to a psychologist, but it didn't work... And I feel kinda trapped by my mind.

If you've arrived here, thank you very much for reading me, I tried to explain myself the better I could (I'm not a native english speaker). I'll wait for your answers

 

[AndroGhostX]

I hope for the best for you! If you just need someone to talk to feel free to PM or VM me ^.^

I developed a little bit of anxiety (only has happened once) due to depression (genetic but I don't seek treatment) but it went away for no reason which I'm happy about~ I struggle too but I think that the best way to cope is just to try and be happy and enjoy the things that make you happy as well as just enjoy life because you are able to live! I guess thinking of how you are probably better off than those less fortunate makes it not seem so bad. Maybe those two things can be used for anxiety but they help with my depression. Since I've only encounter anxiety once that went away on it's own, I don't know how to help you cope with that, but I do understand the pain that you are in.

 

[Alienfish]

Work part-time or something where you need to be social... it will help a lot. I assume you are young, but maybe do some volunteering or holiday work where you have to step out and talk to people. I started working part-time for work practice at a second hand store recently and it have helped me loads, I used to be the worst social thot ever.

As for you family members, try to stay away from them if you can by either going out or talking to someone about...doesn't have to be a pro, just someone who you can talk to.

 

[Katelyn]

I don't have social anxiety, but I do have really bad general anxiety. I refuse to get medicated for it though even though my doctor has recommended it multiple times

 

[tybalt_cake]

i have been reading symptoms of social anxiety and i think i might have it , i dont know how to start a conversation with someone new , i fear sometimes that new people will judge me and as long as i have said i dont care about what other people think about me , when im a new place that kinda changes.
the worst thing is when i go shopping alone , like , i have a weird feeling when i ask for something , sometimes i dont even ask for the thing im searching for just to avoid talking to the workers of that store and if i do , i might start sttutering , same thing on a restaurant or any public place.
and as you said , sometimes when i go alone to some place i feel judged , it was WAY worse than 2 years ago , i wouldnt play sports at all because i would fear id **** up and then everyone judges me.

again , im not sure if that is actual social anxiety or its just be being too shy , please someone correct me if im wrong

 

[Mr. Cat]

I thought I had social anxiety for a long time, but when I looked at the criteria for it, I didn't actually meet it. Then I figured out I had autism and general anxiety/depression, which made much more sense.

Social anxiety seems to be about feeling judged... whereas I don't even know what to say unless I've been in the situation before. I have anxiety around new people or in new situations, but it's not because I'm afraid of what people think of me. It's just I get so flustered trying to figure out what the eff to do/say.

Plus, social situations are more difficult for me because of all of the noise. I can talk to anybody perfectly fine in a quiet, dark room. But if you add another person to the conversation, things start to get jumbled and it's hard to concentrate and figure out the correct thing to say. Other things like small background noises can interfere too. The more I can hear and see while trying to socialize, the more I will start to panic because I can't figure it out. None of this particularly has to do with feeling judged.

 

[visibleghost]

cbt is generally a therapy form that social anxiety is treated with. it sounds like you could benefit from therapy but if you for some reason can’t i think you should read up on cbt online and make some diy therapy lol. social anxiety is treatable and people can get well so That’s Neat

i have social anxiety as well as thirty million other anxiety disorders lmao. i’ve always been shy and w/e but i think i developed really bad social anxiety when i was around 11-12. i havent really been great at dealing with it. i have asd as well which impacts me socially and im just kind of a mess skdkhdsvdbfk.
ive been in therapy for years and the first therapist i saw (Whomst Was Terrible) was like ”uhh you have social anxiety and depression” (while missing my autism and other anxiety and everything else but thats life when you absolutely suck) but then she didnt help me w it at all so that was interesting. then i started seeing my old psychologist (who was great) and she helped me with dealing w my anxiety but i still have soo much anxiety.

im working on challenging myself socially but ive isolated myself more and more and i seriously cant do social interactions at allllll without feeling like im going to faint so i guess ive been getting worse the last few years and that im ignoring my problems. but my social anixiety (even though it’s really bad) is a really small problem i have compared 2 my other problems bc my brain sucks so idk it’s not a priority for me

sry 4 the negative post but i hope u get better soon !!!

 

[Drakyem]

I don't have social anxiety, but I do have really bad general anxiety. I refuse to get medicated for it though even though my doctor has recommended it multiple times

You could try using natural alternatives like valerian tea, I don't specially like any kind of tea but my mom uses it and it works

- - - Post Merge - - -

i have been reading symptoms of social anxiety and i think i might have it , i dont know how to start a conversation with someone new , i fear sometimes that new people will judge me and as long as i have said i dont care about what other people think about me , when im a new place that kinda changes.
the worst thing is when i go shopping alone , like , i have a weird feeling when i ask for something , sometimes i dont even ask for the thing im searching for just to avoid talking to the workers of that store and if i do , i might start sttutering , same thing on a restaurant or any public place.
and as you said , sometimes when i go alone to some place i feel judged , it was WAY worse than 2 years ago , i wouldnt play sports at all because i would fear id **** up and then everyone judges me.

again , im not sure if that is actual social anxiety or its just be being too shy , please someone correct me if im wrong

That it's definetly social anxiety, shyness isn't that serious, and I completely understand you about avoiding talk with workers and that... You may go to a therapist so they can tell you (if you haven't)

- - - Post Merge - - -

cbt is generally a therapy form that social anxiety is treated with. it sounds like you could benefit from therapy but if you for some reason can’t i think you should read up on cbt online and make some diy therapy lol. social anxiety is treatable and people can get well so That’s Neat

i have social anxiety as well as thirty million other anxiety disorders lmao. i’ve always been shy and w/e but i think i developed really bad social anxiety when i was around 11-12. i havent really been great at dealing with it. i have asd as well which impacts me socially and im just kind of a mess skdkhdsvdbfk.
ive been in therapy for years and the first therapist i saw (Whomst Was Terrible) was like ”uhh you have social anxiety and depression” (while missing my autism and other anxiety and everything else but thats life when you absolutely suck) but then she didnt help me w it at all so that was interesting. then i started seeing my old psychologist (who was great) and she helped me with dealing w my anxiety but i still have soo much anxiety.

im working on challenging myself socially but ive isolated myself more and more and i seriously cant do social interactions at allllll without feeling like im going to faint so i guess ive been getting worse the last few years and that im ignoring my problems. but my social anixiety (even though it’s really bad) is a really small problem i have compared 2 my other problems bc my brain sucks so idk it’s not a priority for me

sry 4 the negative post but i hope u get better soon !!!

I've reade about CBT! But just the thought of it makes me nervous. I mean, I know people there will have the same problem as me, but still... And don't worry about your post, I made this thread so we can talk about our disorders, help each other maybe, and express ourselves freely :3 (but respectfully of course)

 

[mitfy]

i have selective mutism, which is classified as an anxiety disorder. basically, it's where a person is unable to talk in certain social situations (ie. school, meeting new people or in new situations/environments, etc). even though it's classified as an anxiety disorder not all ppl with it will have social anxiety (though like 90% do). it's often called a childhood disorder bc most ppl learn to relax and be able to talk in front of others by the time they're adolescent/adults (including myself) but some may not, and continue to be selectively mute as they grow.
though i'm now able to talk in all situations, it still affects me. especially in school, i almost never speak unless asked and have a difficult time approaching teachers/students i'm not close friends with. giving presentations and speeches TERRIFIES me. i dread meeting new people, making small talk, and even small things like saying "thank you" to someone holding the door for me if i'm having a bad day.
it's not necessarily the fear of being judged (though that's a part of it), but more of the act of physically doing it is difficult. and if it's a presentation of some kind it'll give me bad anxiety.

it's super dumb and it's inhibited me my entire life and i hate it

when it comes to advice, know that anxiety and social anxiety LOVES to make everything so much scarier. it loves to exaggerate your tiny fears and make them feel monstrous. nothing is ever as bad as anxiety makes it feel. know that your thoughts are irrational, and if it helps, try even treating these anxious thoughts like they're another person - a friend or creature or someone who's always worrying and stretching the truth, and you have to be like dude, chill out. it'll be fine, no, they're not thinking that about you, they're just passing by, etc. also, this may sound rude, but remember that the world doesn't revolve around you. i don't mean that in a mean way, just that anxiety tends to make you think that everyone's looking at/thinking about/judging you for something, when in reality everyone's got their own thing going on, and when you go out in public not everyone's attention will be on you. and of course, remember to breathe. anxiety can make you hold your breath and/or breathe really fast, so if you're feeling nervous or anxious, try to remember to keep your breathing steady and consistent in order to avoid your heart speeding up (which can result in more anxiety or an anxiety/panic attack).

anyways, sorry for the long post. i hope you start feeling better soon, and hope my advice was any help!

 

[Drakyem]

i have selective mutism, which is classified as an anxiety disorder. basically, it's where a person is unable to talk in certain social situations (ie. school, meeting new people or in new situations/environments, etc). even though it's classified as an anxiety disorder not all ppl with it will have social anxiety (though like 90% do). it's often called a childhood disorder bc most ppl learn to relax and be able to talk in front of others by the time they're adolescent/adults (including myself) but some may not, and continue to be selectively mute as they grow.
though i'm now able to talk in all situations, it still affects me. especially in school, i almost never speak unless asked and have a difficult time approaching teachers/students i'm not close friends with. giving presentations and speeches TERRIFIES me. i dread meeting new people, making small talk, and even small things like saying "thank you" to someone holding the door for me if i'm having a bad day.
it's not necessarily the fear of being judged (though that's a part of it), but more of the act of physically doing it is difficult. and if it's a presentation of some kind it'll give me bad anxiety.

it's super dumb and it's inhibited me my entire life and i hate it

when it comes to advice, know that anxiety and social anxiety LOVES to make everything so much scarier. it loves to exaggerate your tiny fears and make them feel monstrous. nothing is ever as bad as anxiety makes it feel. know that your thoughts are irrational, and if it helps, try even treating these anxious thoughts like they're another person - a friend or creature or someone who's always worrying and stretching the truth, and you have to be like dude, chill out. it'll be fine, no, they're not thinking that about you, they're just passing by, etc. also, this may sound rude, but remember that the world doesn't revolve around you. i don't mean that in a mean way, just that anxiety tends to make you think that everyone's looking at/thinking about/judging you for something, when in reality everyone's got their own thing going on, and when you go out in public not everyone's attention will be on you. and of course, remember to breathe. anxiety can make you hold your breath and/or breathe really fast, so if you're feeling nervous or anxious, try to remember to keep your breathing steady and consistent in order to avoid your heart speeding up (which can result in more anxiety or an anxiety/panic attack).

anyways, sorry for the long post. i hope you start feeling better soon, and hope my advice was any help!

Thanks for your advice :3 It happens to me too, that when I need to say "thank you" or "sorry" to a stranger, I just can't do it, it won't come. Then I start to think about it and paranoia and bad thoughts start in my mind *sigh*
Oh, and don't worry about the post being long (or maybe annoying, as I could think if I were you 'cause of paranoia), it's not

 

[Psydye]

I'm not sure I have social anxiety although I do have Asperger's, so my social life isn't the greatest? Sorry, not much more to add. I do have friends but of course but I don't really socialize beyond that.

 

[Drakyem]

I'm not sure I have social anxiety although I do have Asperger's, so my social life isn't the greatest? Sorry, not much more to add. I do have friends but of course but I don't really socialize beyond that.

Okay... I've been reading about Asperger syndrome, because I didn't know almost anything about it (and it's a shame that I've never thought of reading about it, because my cousin is an Asperger), and... I think it is tough, seen from the outside at least. About having friends... I don't think I ever had friends, or at least I didn't know it. I do have two now, but they live far from me so I've never met them in person.

 

[Mr. Cat]

Oh, I get the selective mutism thing too, though I wouldn't call it selective mutism in my case? I consider it an autism/asperger thing, as it's very common with these. There are certain times when my words just get stuck and won't come out no matter how hard I try. It's very weird and incredibly frustrating. My mouth and brain don't really cooperate.

 

[John Wick]

I've had anxiety since I was 17.

It progressed to chronic over the years, and now I don't go out.

I can't be in shops or crowded places.

 

[Elephantmarshmallow]

Maybe not technically social anxiety, I can go out and interact with other people if I really need to but if I'm in a large crowd or if I'm at a store and someone tries to talk to me unexpectedly I tend panic a bit. I've always been a shy person so when it comes to talking to people I don't know face to face (or even over the phone) I get nervous and a bit antsy

 

[timecapsule]

i have generalised anxiety disorder and its pretty bad
im on medication for it though so its easier, but im starting to realise it's more permanent than i thought it would be.
i guess i forgot you cant really "cure" it

 

[nintendofan85]

I have anxiety, but it's not social, rather just stress-related when it comes to my school assignments and so forth. It's part of OCD, unfortunately... I was officially diagnosed with it by a doctor a couple of months ago.

 

[BambieTheMayor]

It started developing when I changed schools. The school I moved to literally only has about... twenty kids? In total. All grades, all classes (we all share one big classroom but we don't get taught by the teachers -- it's a self-learning program, and the teachers only come over if we seriously can't figure it out by ourselves), twenty kids in total.

The lack of social options (I'm the oldest at the school and am not really friends with anyone there because they're all a good five or more years younger than me, except for my sister) and the genetic part of it all (my mom suffered from social anxiety as well) put a serious toll on me. When I am in a place that involves social interaction -- even the smallest amount -- I panic.

It's an awful feeling and I'm trying to get better. I've been suffering from this since I was eleven and I'm turning sixteen in about two weeks. I'm getting a job soon, and I'm hoping that will help.

 

[duckykate]

some things i learned in therapy that may help

one thing that can help with social anxiety is to identify cognitive distortions, or things your brain is telling you that arent true. for example, if you forgot to do your hair or something, you might be thinking "omg everyone is staring at me wtf" but in reality people are probably more worried about their own problems. or maybe you think that theyre thinking about how ugly your hair is but in reality...you cant read peoples minds. theyre most likeley thinking about what theyre having for lunch. so next time you start to feel your anxiety coming, try and make sure what youre thinking is rational

another important tip is to not avoid social interaction because of your fear, because that will make it way worse. i know it sucks but your fear will go down the more you do it

 

[primandimproper]

I've had social anxiety my entire life (since I was about 4). I didn't start getting better until I had to live in a group home for the mentally ill for a year and a half. Now, my anxiety is the best it's ever been, which isn't saying much. I can't even go grocery shopping without having an anxiety attack, and yes, I am on meds and in therapy. I also have other mental disorders, which make my life challenging.