That was some heavy weight to carry, and I'm glad you were able to let go of it.
Once upon a time ago (in a land full of brick sized cellular phones, boy bands, and questiinable hair choices...) I was 19, and I married my husband who is 7 years older than me. I was already expecting our son when we said our vows.
We have now been together for nearly 15 years, are still best friends, and have 3 kids, a cat, and a woefully spoiled dog.
I have never spoken to you before on here...I don't think our paths crossed...but I will say this: Life happens to everyone, at various ages. If you are happy and safe, and your family is happy and safe that's all that matters.
As for your sense of dread...well, parenthood is a great unkown for you at the moment so that's natural.
Feel free to message me if you ever want to ask another mom, or just shoot the breeze about mom life.
Congrats on your growing family!