my path to discovering my romantic orientation has been a
very bumpy one lol, pretty sure this is like the 4th time (at least) that I'm commenting on it.
so one thing I'll always know for sure is that I'm aromantic, or at least on the aro spectrum. but I'm finding lately that part of the reason why there's so much confusion w my romantic orientation is that, for me, the line between a platonic and romantic relationship is not at all a fine line. in fact, there's barely a line there in any form. part of me is thinking that a romantic relationship, at least on paper (not really in practice) would be great, but a bigger part of me is finding that a really strong platonic bond can be just as fulfilling.
it's upsetting how much weight society places on romantic relationships, when friendships are just as amazing and exciting. I'm still trying to shake that feeling off; I think if I can convince myself that they hold the same value, my desire for a romantic relationship may just vanish altogether. because honestly, like I said, the line between platonic and romantic isn't there for me.
things that people do in romantic relationships, like going out to dinner, watching movies together... why can't friends do that? the answer is they can. I suppose the only other things that differentiate a romantic relationship would be the more physical/intimate things like kisses or whatever, but being not only aro but also apothi-ace I'm really not keen on those things at all. I'm fine with hugs and even sitting together on a couch under the same blanket, but that's something I would do w my friends too.
idk, the whole thing is kind of a mess. and my friends accept me for this whole mess anyways, so I'm grateful for that.
edit: I guess one thing that I can say is that despite all the confusion, having someone I can spend my life with would be absolutely wonderful