Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

speaking of pronouns, idk if anyone else has experienced this but people misgender me so often that when someone actually says the right pronouns (which theoretically shouldn't be that difficult yet it is) it makes me feel really weird? doesn't matter if it's he/him or they/them, I feel weird. but it doesn't compare to the pain I feel when someone uses the wrong pronoun.

sometimes I feel like that pic that says "my pronouns are ___ /___. do not refer to me ever."
 
I was taking some customer’s plates off their tables and they said “thanks, man.” It made me smile but I opened my mouth and said “not a problem.” That’s when he corrected himself and said “Sorry, such a nice girl” to his kid. I guess my voice gives it away. It’s nice to know I visually pass, though…
 
More self-discovery has been made, here's my update:

So I now identify as non-binary (AFAB if y'all are wondering), lesbian, and asexual. I only came to terms with being lesbian in September 2022, after trying practically every term on the bisexuality spectrum in an attempt to convince myself that I still liked men, and therefore wasn't a complete family disappointment. I now have a wonderful girlfriend, and we will have been dating for four months as of April 10th, but it seems like four years to me. Both of us are very romantic asexuals (we literally told each other this at the same time xD), which causes some confusion amongst our lesser-educated friends, but it's no big deal. To avoid some confusion, neither of us is comfortable with making out and/or doing the dirty deed, so to speak, but anything and everything else is fine.
As for gender, I now identify as non-binary, my pronouns are they/them/theirs or it/its/itself, I don't care, and I now go by Remy instead of my deadname, which my parents got from the bible and I absolutely hate. And then I remember that my deadname is someone else's chosen name... well to each their own I guess
That's all for now, will update whenever more self-discovery has been made.
 
Are there any must have books for understanding LGBT+ and representation?

My library currently has a time frame open for requesting books. While there’s no guarantee that they pick any of my selections, I think that I should still try.

There isn’t any representation for asexuals in my library, so I’m going to start by requesting Loveless by Alice Oseman and Ace by Angela Chen. What else?
 
not gonna let my day be ruined by some stupid **** on the internet telling me that someone's existence is invalid just bc they don't agree. I'm here to tell yall something. and I'm literally already tearing up thinking about it.

you are all absolutely 100% LOVED!!!!

don't ever let someone tell you you're not worthy of respect or love. overhear someone say that your pronouns and/or gender presentation are invalid? they can literally **** right off. they're not worth your time at all. there's not enough time on this earth to worry about negative things that stupid people say.

everything you are, and everything you will become, is absolutely worthy of all the love and respect in the world. regardless of pronouns, gender identity, sexual orientation, whatever, you are amazing and you deserve to be understood and respected. as long as you're not spewing hate like some people in the world who think it's okay to invalidate someone's existence, there's nothing wrong.

you are totally and undeniably valid. you have a right to exist and live your life and express yourself how you want to. people who want to tell you that the way you live is wrong bc they don't agree with it can just sit in their anger and misery. let them be angry, just be yourself unapologetically. it's not your problem if your mere existence causes them to be mad. be yourself and everything will fall into place. you won't even be able to hear the hatred past the positive vibes you radiate just by being yourself and accepting yourself.

I need a hug so bad fr. I need the positive vibes, I need to see the love and acceptance in the community. I need to forget the horrible people. 🥺😔
 
weird thought i had, i love being feminine but i'm not sure why, it bothers me when people call me a "woman" or "lady." "ma'am" kind of freaks me out too. i do identify as a girl, but just that.. a girl. not a woman. maybe it's a weird part of me not wanting to grow up but it feels like being called a woman is too official sounding.
 
I know it's a really toxic thought and I need to get it out of my head, but I feel like I don't deserve to be perceived as a guy. like I don't deserve to have people use the correct pronouns or refer to me the correct way.

there are people who do respect who I am and refer to me properly, but so many people don't and never will, especially my own family and even my parents. my parents will literally jump through hoops to make sure they don't refer to me as he/him. and they're the people I spend like 95% of my time around. so the other 5% when I'm around friends and they actually use the correct pronouns I feel incredibly guilty, like I don't deserve it.

and it's weird bc I know my mom accepts me, but she disrespects me every time she does literally everything she can to avoid using the right pronouns, and makes excuses for my dad continuing to use the wrong one even though I've been out for two years now.

calling myself by my correct pronouns makes me feel like I'm doing something terrible, or even evil in a way. like I'm committing a crime and I'm gonna get in trouble for it.

I just wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I could exist in this body I was given and still feel like myself. I wish I didn't feel like my existence is a burden to so many people. I wish I didn't have to work so hard to have people perceive me the way I want to, when other guys can do it flawlessly.

I try to love myself for who I am, and I think im getting better about it, but sometimes I wish I was born a male so I wouldn't have to deal w all this. it's so exhausting to deal with everything else in my life and then have to be invalidated constantly bc I don't "look" like a guy.

also should mention that lately I've been hyper-aware of my own body for some reason, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable. i hate that feeling so much. i wish it would go away.

I could honestly really use some nb/trans solidarity 🙏
 
I feel like this too sometimes. When you're constantly being misgendered by the people around you (especially if it's your family members), it almost feels wrong when others use the right name and pronouns.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know that feeling all too well, and I wish the best for you. Remember that you are loved and there are people care about you, regardless of gender identity/sexual orientation/etc. <3
 
nothing quite like getting ready for school while my parents blast some evangelist far-right preacher condemning the LGBTQ+ community to hell!! just the way to start my morning!! /j
... i have got to get out of here because i don't think i can take this much longer. i really hope i get approved for residence so i can get away, even just for a year. honestly, the entire experience made me think about what will happen if i end up actually finding someone. will i have to come out to them or do i just...? idk, it's too much to think about o_O
 
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going to planned parenthood to talk about things including hrt
not gonna start, obviously, but I feel like I'm taking bigger steps towards transitioning
🎊
 
Does anyone here use pronoun pins and what’s your experience with them? Do people pay attention to them or no?
 
Does anyone here use pronoun pins and what’s your experience with them? Do people pay attention to them or no?
I wear a he/him pronoun pin quite a bit bc I honestly don't pass very well at all, even with my haircut and apparel. and so far I haven't had any issues with it, and it prompts people to either use the correct pronoun or simply not use any pronoun with me (which I feel is better than using the wrong one). I've been a bit worried about people harrassing me for it since central Ohio is like conservative territory, but I haven't had that kind of problem at all. I actually feel pretty empowered wearing it 😌

edit: typo
 
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Smaller update this time

I now use he/they/it pronouns, I go by Remus (Remy is still fine as a nickname), and I now identify as aceflux instead of asexual. Still very much lesbian and non-binary though.

Time to brace myself for all the Harry Potter jokes... and the Ratatouille jokes... oh god


So anyways time to update my custom pride flag and announce these changes to my friends
 
I had to block some people due to the hatred they spewed. Here in the United States, a lot of people (mostly conservatives) have gotten nasty about trans people and to a lesser extent gay men (mostly drag queens). I can’t stand seeing people put others down, and it also makes me a bit paranoid although I am a bi woman. Like, how much further are they going to take this? (Laws and such) It makes me sad that some people choose the path of hatred.

EDIT: I’m feeling better, but still wanted to share the rant.
 
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my path to discovering my romantic orientation has been a very bumpy one lol, pretty sure this is like the 4th time (at least) that I'm commenting on it.

so one thing I'll always know for sure is that I'm aromantic, or at least on the aro spectrum. but I'm finding lately that part of the reason why there's so much confusion w my romantic orientation is that, for me, the line between a platonic and romantic relationship is not at all a fine line. in fact, there's barely a line there in any form. part of me is thinking that a romantic relationship, at least on paper (not really in practice) would be great, but a bigger part of me is finding that a really strong platonic bond can be just as fulfilling.

it's upsetting how much weight society places on romantic relationships, when friendships are just as amazing and exciting. I'm still trying to shake that feeling off; I think if I can convince myself that they hold the same value, my desire for a romantic relationship may just vanish altogether. because honestly, like I said, the line between platonic and romantic isn't there for me.

things that people do in romantic relationships, like going out to dinner, watching movies together... why can't friends do that? the answer is they can. I suppose the only other things that differentiate a romantic relationship would be the more physical/intimate things like kisses or whatever, but being not only aro but also apothi-ace I'm really not keen on those things at all. I'm fine with hugs and even sitting together on a couch under the same blanket, but that's something I would do w my friends too.

idk, the whole thing is kind of a mess. and my friends accept me for this whole mess anyways, so I'm grateful for that. 💕

edit: I guess one thing that I can say is that despite all the confusion, having someone I can spend my life with would be absolutely wonderful 🥺💖
 
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Can I happy word vomit for a moment? I'm going to anyway.

To share something wholesome, I recently started a new job and my workplace is extremely accommodating. A week before starting, I visited the site and bathroom preferences came up when my manager showed me where both the gents and ladies rooms were then asked if I wanted to know where the gender neutral one was (different building). I said yes, I'd feel more comfortable knowing where it was. Well, they then went and introduced a new gender neutral toilet two days before I began working there. It's directly below my office. It was one of the first things my new manager told me about on my first day. She also made a point of introducing me with the correct pronouns (he/they) both in a company-wide email and when we toured the building without making it sound inorganic or drawing any attention to it at all, e.g. "this is Chris, he is our new [role], and they will be reporting to me as part of the [specialism] team." The only time I had told her my pronouns was in the first 30 seconds of a job interview over a month earlier. I've been here a few weeks now and I feel like I'm not only with a good company but that I also got assigned a fantastic manager. They are also very accommodating regarding my physical disabilities and generalised anxiety disorder (read: not social anxiety), which is something I always dread sharing whenever I start in a new place. But damn I fear they've set a standard no where else can live up to. They are truly going out of their way to make me feel comfortable working here instead of expecting me to adapt to them. It's a big company too, which makes it unexpected! Also, I'm gay and my partner also works in the same office. Obviously we behave professionally but no one seems to care about or mind our relationship.
 
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Came to the realisation a lil while ago since starting uni that i’m very much pansexual, n it feels great!!!
 
I haven't posted in this thread for a little while but I wanted to pop in and give a little update of sorts? As per my user title I am still very much a lesbian and I am in a wonderful relationship 🥰 While I am still not out to my dad I am currently working in a much more comfortable environment which has let me feel at ease enough to come out to a few coworkers! That is a really huge deal to me as it was something I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to do in my small town, especially while working in child care.

In general I just feel so much more at peace with my sexuality lately. It is something I have struggled with for a long time. Living in my small town with a very vocal homophobic father I spent a lot of time wishing I was straight, wondering why I was burdened with being a lesbian, feeling so much disdain for myself. I have noticed (and felt) a big shift in that view, though. Instead of framing things as if I am the problem I look at it more as I wish other's weren't homophobic, that the world was more open and accepting - especially in light of certain "protests" that are happening, laws that are being mandated, and other things that are alienating LGBT+ people.

I don't know. I just wanted to say something because for a long time I felt really disgusted with myself and felt as though the lesbian part of me was a broken and shameful aspect of myself; which I'm sure is a familiar feeling amongst other small town people, people with homophobic families, or even people in bigger cities and states that are undergoing some really big hate issues at the moment. The part of you that makes you part of the LGBT+ community isn't broken or shameful. I know it might not always feel that way but it's a part of you that won't change and learning to love and accept yourself is really important. I wish it was something I could've done sooner but I am happy to be where I am right now.
 
saw this on pinterest and I feel so called out 😭😭
5a095bebde962bd9e4a876f08ce5a46e.jpg
 
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