What's Bothering You?

Lots of ants on my desk for some reason 😭 i dont even have anything remotely sweet on my desk so why are they HERE
 
Also, I deleted my entire wall of profile posts because I wanted a fresh start. It’s a new year. I wanted to say goodbye to the era of 2013-2018 and even anything prior to this year. I know I have a reputation (not sure if it’s a good one or not lol) on this site but I truly want to start over and forget the past. This is a nice community and I thank the people I was able to become friends with. I’m not the same person I was last year, and definitely not the same person from 2013-2018. I’ve had a chance to learn a lot about myself over the past few months and I’m just… ready for redemption, I guess.
I should really do this, at least some 2016 stuff...
 
i got a haircut the other day and i got a little side bang/short curtain bang thing and tbh i kind of hate it rn. my face is more of the problem rather than the haircut, my face is very square and i practically have no chin making my side profile ugly af. but i mean it could be worse.. the side of my face looked very asymmetrical before i got braces but at least it’s somewhat improving. maybe i just need to style my hair differently.
 
I should really book an appointment with an ob/gyn, I dunno if I actually have endometriosis but I do suspect so... hope whoever they are can help if I find a suitable time.
 
I got covid 😔 My coworker tested positive shortly before I did and I'm a bit worried I may have gotten him or any of my other coworkers sick before I knew
 
i've been sick for 2 weeks now with an awful cold that hasnt improved. it's not covid as i've tested negative, but i'm extremely worried its RSV since all of my coworkers have very, VERY young children.
 
somehow one of our kitties got out and I didn't even know til I let my dog out a bit ago and I heard him crying outside 😭 no clue how long he was out there but I'm so relieved he stayed by the house until someone came out for him.
 
Even when i ask if my boyfriend is going to sleep he says not soon but then he falls asleep without telling me. I end up being alone at night after i finished work. I am busting my ass here to power through ptsd to draw and i have breakdowns and hes not even there for me. I know he cares very much. But im suffering. Im lonely. All i want after i finish work is to hang out with my boyfriend. Im not getting positive reinforcement or a reward after i work because night ends up being the worst time of day. I cant stay up waiting for him anymore. This schedule isnt working but i cant just sleep during the day. I really cant overstate how bad my ptsd is because it gives me flashes of violence, this isnt working.
 
lowkey wanna go to taco bell but I also don't bc for some reason lately my taste for that has just kinda gone out the window, especially their beef. it has such a weird taste (and texture??) 😬 but I can get an entire cravings box for $5 so like why wouldn't I?

also luckily I don't actually have to drive my mom to her appt today, but she woke me up at 9am and I have been so tired ever since. would love to take a nap for a bit. and I'm starting to feel pressure in my sinuses again so I really hope it doesn't turn into a headache 😞
 
A part of me will never come back 🖤💔🖤
Wow dang I'm so sorry :( :(
-

Also might need to adjust my sleep schedule, usually I go to sleep 10 pm weekdays but it's not that I sleep until 11 pm even if I wind down sooooo might just go 11 pm instead
 
I feel like I’ll never know what it’s like to have a group of friends. I’m friends with some people but we never plan things together… it’s always everyone except me. And lack of effort on my part, sure, but it’s a two way street. I don’t want to be included because I asked and they feel obligated to. I want to be included because they want me there.
 
Back
Top