What's Bothering You?

It’s so insignificant compared to what a lot of you are facing (I’m so sorry) but I really really hate being autistic. No offence to anyone else who is. I just really want to be able to do things normally, and even have a chance to do what other people can. I feel so alone and misunderstood all the time and people can’t even seem to comprehend that. Growing up, when you’re constantly noticing all the things wrong with you, feels so miserable. I think I should just be grateful for what I do have right now but it’s hard.
 
Chris said:
Found more blood on my white kitten's chest today. These wounds are new and much worse than before (initial was surface level) - I believe they are self-inflicted from the pattern they form and the fact he keeps scratching.

I've made him an appointment with the vet for 6:30PM tomorrow night. It'll be a tight turnaround as I also have a vaccine appointment at 4:40PM. Wish I could have gotten him seen tonight - it'll be a long 24hrs. Work will drag tomorrow. 😬

I won't show the wounds of course, but here is a photo of him cuddled up with me from 20 mins ago after I got him cleaned up:

20241106-184030.jpg
Click to expand...
Okay wee update.

I got Sebastian to the vet tonight. His wounds aren't infected. She gave him a thorough clean, cut off the matted fur, trimmed his back claws, and prescribed an anti-inflammatory cream.

He's soooo upset by tonight...
20241107-152517.jpg

Meanwhile I had a flu vaccine appointment right before he had to go to the vet. And I'm having a bad side effect. Really bad chest pain that gets worse when I stand or bend. Let's hope this passes quickly.
 
I’m honestly feeling triggered by mention of the election and politics. I have something I feel strongly about but I’ve been trying to keep it to myself as much as I can since I know others are trying to avoid politics as I’d like to do. It’s frustrating; so much reminds me of what is concerning me. I wish I could remember details from books and a class that I took, better and explain things objectively better, not just about these kinds of things but in general so I can maybe discuss them with someone. Then again, I’m afraid even if I found someone to discuss this with, it would sound like I’m preaching.
 
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Chris said:
Okay wee update.

I got Sebastian to the vet tonight. His wounds aren't infected. She gave him a thorough clean, cut off the matted fur, trimmed his back claws, and prescribed an anti-inflammatory cream.
20241107-152517.jpg

Meanwhile I had a flu vaccine appointment right before he had to go to the vet. And I'm having a bad side effect. Really bad chest pain that gets worse when I stand or bend. Let's hope this passes quickly.
Click to expand...
He's an adorable kitty. I hope both of you recover quickly!
 
Doo said:
It’s so insignificant compared to what a lot of you are facing (I’m so sorry) but I really really hate being autistic. No offence to anyone else who is. I just really want to be able to do things normally, and even have a chance to do what other people can. I feel so alone and misunderstood all the time and people can’t even seem to comprehend that. Growing up, when you’re constantly noticing all the things wrong with you, feels so miserable. I think I should just be grateful for what I do have right now but it’s hard.
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I hope you are okay with a reply, but I can relate. ASD doesn't all have to be all gloom and doom - do not get me wrong, and I am not trying to demonize it, but it can make it a lot harder to deal with life in general.
 
It’s impossible to deny that simply being at home triggers me.

I hate how many “I told you so” moments I could have had in my life. I don’t say it. It’s unproductive. But I was saying years ago that being ahead of other people is lonely.

I don’t even mean it in an egotistical way, I knew how things would work if I didn’t get help for certain things. My boyfriend is a wrench in it (affectionate) and everything else kind of sucks as much or worse than I thought.

I can’t feel okay being at home trying to change my perspective while it’s triggering me. I know this pessimism is not what I want and my instinct to find some better state of mind is stronger but lord with every incident it weakens.

I wouldn’t be the same person without him. I am still scared of everything. I hate that there are so many people in the world who would take advantage of my little desire to do better and be the bigger person and who hurt me for it.

I hate that deep down I want to see those people understand that emotional hurt when that’s just more destructive. But I hate that the same people who hurt me with no awareness of why kind of get away with it.

/ also thinking about a username change… peanuts problem but I changed my Discord handle and it feels way better there. Don’t know if I want to on the few places I’m still active too.
 
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I got sick (thanks to my brother) and I feel ****ing awful. I only had a sore throat (and the usual headaches) today, but I'm dealing with the other symptoms now and I woke up feeling like I needed to throw up. And of course I get sick right after my two day offs, so I'll have to work for five days straight like this... I think I'll have the same problem I did at school; Too lethargic to be productive, but not ill enough to stay home. Ughhh.
 
ZeldaCrossing64 said:
I got sick (thanks to my brother) and I feel ****ing awful. I only had a sore throat (and the usual headaches) today, but I'm dealing with the other symptoms now and I woke up feeling like I needed to throw up. And of course I get sick right after my two day offs, so I'll have to work for five days straight like this... I think I'll have the same problem I did at school; Too lethargic to be productive, but not ill enough to stay home. Ughhh.
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Damn that sucks, not to insert myself in your situation but I've also been sick all week and it's been a pain in the ass (I feel better today so please don't worry about me), I hope you get well soon.
 
still on the job hunt but it's not looking too hot. i can't believe I'm burnt out already. i really wish i felt confident about my skills but i constantly feel like I'm lagging behind and just overall incapable of doing what ppl are asking me to do. lowkey want to pivot back into my previous industry but i sacrificed a lot to come here.
 
The election results make me very sad and angry, there isn't much to say other than that. but I hope those who voted for the other less qualified candidate get everything they deserve, no sympathy from me.

But other than that my mom has had quite a few interviews for a new job and she's very pleased with how they have been going! It's very encouraging for her so hopefully something works out.
 
I'm just really annoyed by my online social anxiety. I want to trade with people so bad in games, like Animal Jam for example, but my anxiety stops me. I know people can't hurt me. I know it's just pixels. I know it's all in good fun. I also know the other players are probably my age or younger. Despite all this logic, I can't bring myself to do it. I wish there was a way to calm myself down about it.
 
I'm really disappointed in this country.. It just. Makes me sad. I guess. :")
Anyway, I have had a migraine almost all day. My stepmom was being nasty about me having to clean the house tonight, despite having a migraine. Whatever bro, at least I get to go to a toy/collectible show/convention tomorrow. Something to look forward to, I guess.

EDIT: I just read my Community Time Capsule message from 2019 me to 2024 me. I am going to cry. LMAO.
 
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