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What's Bothering You?

love /s the misogyny and infantilization of being told I'm too young to get sterilization surgery because I "might regret it"... I am twenty-six. I have been a legal adult for eight years. I'm freely allowed to do a whole range of things I "might regret"—I could do something as minor as getting permanent body mods, or as serious and potentially life-threatening as signing up for the military—but when it comes to not wanting to get pregnant ever, even if I'm been completely firm in this feeling for over a literal decade, I'm suddenly not allowed to make decisions for myself because "noooo 🥺 you need to wait until you're older!! 🥺 what if you change your mind later 🥺"

jokes on my OBGYN though bc she might have refused to help me, but we've already found multiple doctors in my area who expressly will and I will be scheduling a consultation soon!

I will probably look for a new OBGYN after this tbh, to say I'm disappointed in her is an understatement. However! I can be deeply petty and part of me really wants to stay with her until I can update my patient profile to say I've had the procedure lmao
I hope it's okay if I respond. I had the same talk with my OB/GYN, and it was a somewhat similar experience but also different. I'm sorry you had that experience with one doctor, but it's good that you know other doctors who are willing to do that for you. you deserve to be able to do what you want with your body, and not have others' opinions dictate your life.

this is stuff about me so you can skip it if you like, I don't want to be self-centered.
in my case, my OB/GYN did tell me that I should mull it over a little more just in case because I'm pretty young too (25), but he said that if I'm absolutely sure of myself then he'd be willing to do it. I appreciate that from him. I have mulled it over more, and the more I think about it, the more I'm like 1749% positive I don't ever want the possibility of being pregnant. I never wanted kids when I was younger (different from my mum, who has known all her life that she wanted to be a mum), and I still don't ever want kids. and even if I do, maybe I could adopt? or by some wild chance if I really wanted a biological child, I could have a surrogate? I just don't ever see myself going through that whole thing, it's terrifying and honestly makes me feel uncomfortable (must be an autism thing bc I can't explain it). I think the biggest thing for me is, not only have I known my entire life that I don't want any kids, but I certainly don't want to bring any kids into the kind of world that we currently live in. I haven't talked to him more about it yet because I'm about to have an unrelated but major surgery in less than a week, so of course I'd want to recover from that fully before I decide to have sterilization done.


I mostly came here to say that my surgery is in less than five days now, and I'm slowly but surely going crazy because I'm anticipating the pain I'll be in, and also the stress and sadness I'll feel from being stuck in my stupid house for weeks with limited help bc my mum is disabled and my dad either doesn't care or is basically useless 🥲 and also also my limited mobility and not being able to lift or push stuff. I'm just... kghsgfkld not looking forward to recovery.
 
my throat is hurting sm, it feels like I am swallowing needles 🥺 I felt better after having some soup but it's just gone back to pain now
Don't know if you still live near me, but if you've caught what is going around here right now the worst of the throat pain passes after about 24-48hrs. Feel better soon! 🙏
 
this'll probably be the last time ranting about this, but.

it's just... i dunno. my licensure exam is in 2 days and i cannot emphasize enough how important this is to me. to my career. to my family, to my friends, to the people around me, to myself. this is the final step before i can call myself a full-fledged doctor. and i am so, so scared of fumbling, i am so scared of being a disappointment and i am so scared of people talking behind my back if i fall. i've been keeping a down low about me taking the licensure exam precisely because i dont want to be as big of a disappointment, but at the same time i would really really love the support of all the people ive supported in the past. i dunno. im just torn in all directions right now and i dont like the thoughts telling me that no one cares about me until i have that big shiny license telling me that i am worth love and praise and attention. in the past few months it's been especially hard for me because i have never fully learned to love myself, and that i am only worthy of love if i have something to show for. and it sucks having to think of it that way.

im just. i dunno. my mind is clouded and all i want to do is run away. but the goal is so near and i have no choice but to go forth afraid.
 
I got my new tablet I ordered, but I'm getting stressed due to some setbacks. 😖 First, it was a hassle just trying to get my package from the post office. I needed identification to get it, which I of course didn't bring, so I had to go back home to get one of my cards. This isn't the first time the employee has given me trouble with something, and I think he only went easy on me because my dad was with me and he's kinda intimidating-looking. (I know it's the employee's job to make sure I'm not trying to be fraudulent or receive a dangerous package. Still, I got nervous over the ordeal.)

I also need a phone number to finish setting up my tablet, and of course I can't use our house number, so I'm waiting for my step-mom to come back with her phone. I try to be patient, but waiting for something like this makes me nervous. I'm still shaking, and it's not from my meds (yet). I just want to get the setup done as soon as possible.

I'll be fine later, I'm just really anxious.
 
I swear the whole country has it !!! I feel a lot better today but it's been a rough few days lol , hope you're better too !
I'm at the dry cough and constant nose-blowing stage.

My girlfriend developed symptoms 4-5 days ahead of me. Asked her earlier today when the latter ends - said she'll let me know when she finds out. 😂
 
i'm so stupid!!!

i accidently saved over the first page of my pokemon trainer oc, heart's starter, kirei the oddish expression drawings (kirei is a girl :3 ) ... now i have to redo all those expressions over again when this one is done > < how could i forget i hadn't made a new page save for it yet > <
i wasn't thinking ~
...
oh well... i still have the original oddish drawing i drew first, so it's fine.. i guess < > 😅 even though i'm a little bit miffed about it, i suppose it's not so bad

i started on '' The Cuteness Quotient! '' on the 2nd one & 'i'm now currently on ' The Saffron Con ''

so once i finish ''wild oddish'' https://www.serebii.net/anime/dex/043.shtml , i can start re-doing the first whole lot i did before this whole thing.... 🤷‍♂️ it was going so well, as well > <


i'm really bothered by it, though > <

edit at 5:17 pm on 29/3/25: i decided last night that i would re-do the ones i saved over first, before i continue with the current ones that i'm up to...
 
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I’ve been having to deal with throat soreness the entire week, and now it’s in the sinus draining stages where I have to consistently clear my throat. Of course, this is happening during my week-long vacation from work. However, at least I don’t have to physically talk so much. In fact, the most amount of talking I did this week was to my therapist for an hour, and man did my throat hate that.

Worried to find out if it’ll turn into a stuffy nose come Monday…
 
Lowkey contemplating leaving this Discord server I’m part of. This has nothing to do with TBT. It’s just a server for a fandom I’m in. I connect more with the Twitter/X side of it than the Discord. I feel out of place in the latter.
 
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