What's Bothering You?

Firecrackers are bothering me. This new drawing I’m doing below Felix is also turning out to be a real erase fest 😅. Also drew too dark; drawing lightly with this new pencil is more difficult than it was with the previous pencil.
These firecrackers won’t even let me think. 😡 Intrusive thoughts incoming.
 
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I just spent around $100 to get the Xenoblade Chronicles 2 + expansion pass for my Switch since I have more than enough money now to not have to worry about spending that much, go to download it, and it says there’s an error code.

Apparently the latest update on the Nintendo Switch has a bug or glitch that prevents you from downloading games. Hopefully they implement a patch for it soon.

Idk what I’m going to do for now though. I’m bored af and was really wanting to finally play it. D:
 
Waiting for a package, lol.

Also if there's one thing I hate with having ASD/Asperger is that people praise you for doing tasks just because you're supposedly extra careful, good at that one task, double-checks things, good work morale you name it. But if you would frap up one thing due to lack of instructions or it just happens they frap off on you x10 :( Like okay I've told people I need careful instructions or stuff don't be like that lol.
 
Don’t look up your abusive ex’s profile out of curiosity. It’s nothing but pure pain, especially when they still act like nothing happened.

Apparently one of my parents sent them a warning saying if they ever messed with me again she’d press legal charges. I hope they just ignore that message. My fear of them is worse than my desire for a genuine apology. I don’t blame her though. The damage they did to my mental health is very obvious. Of course she’d be defensive of her child…
 
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Idk it's a 'me' problem but Genshin makes me feel weirdly insecure sometimes. I've always been affected by people saying that "girls can't be gamers lol" and sexist **** like that, and because of that I always feel like I have to prove that I can play decently too. Because of this I refuse to play co-op with friends who are stronger than me, not because I hate them but because my dumb insecurity makes me think that they think I can't handle stuff on my own. I know it's okay to ask for help but I just feel this weird sense of pride for myself for making it far solo. I feel like I'm super toxic right now just saying this. I'm sorry it's so personal ksdjkbfksndcf

also what am i doing why am i ranting. i should be studying
 
I wish I could do something nice for my birthday but idek what I would do, 1. can't go out for drinks bc alcohol tastes like cleaning solution 2. I could go out to eat but I don't want to spend a bunch of money (yeah I have no one to spend money for me, I would have to do it all myself) or 3. idk maybe I could just go to the mall to walk around or something, too bad the mall here is completely dead and the only good mall is an hour away.

I suppose I could wait to actually celebrate my bday until I go to visit my uncle in Alabama, I'm sure he would help me out.
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skarmoury said:
Idk it's a 'me' problem but Genshin makes me feel weirdly insecure sometimes. I've always been affected by people saying that "girls can't be gamers lol" and sexist **** like that, and because of that I always feel like I have to prove that I can play decently too. Because of this I refuse to play co-op with friends who are stronger than me, not because I hate them but because my dumb insecurity makes me think that they think I can't handle stuff on my own. I know it's okay to ask for help but I just feel this weird sense of pride for myself for making it far solo. I feel like I'm super toxic right now just saying this. I'm sorry it's so personal ksdjkbfksndcf

also what am i doing why am i ranting. i should be studying
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you don't have to prove yourself to others, what they don't see is their loss.
 
TalviSyreni said:
Two things that have been bothering me for the last few days...

Why do I attract the weirdos when it comes to men? I've been talking to this guy at the bus stop who genuinely seemed nice (for a change) and then the other day he dropped this weird story about being mistaken for a sex offender by the police for a few weeks. and I honestly had no idea whether or not he was being serious or making a joke but it made me really uncomfortable. Meanwhile in the space of a few months a friend of mine breaks up with her loser boyfriend and another male friend of her's confesses he has a crush on her. Why is it so easy for some people to get decent guys to like them without any effort but for others (like myself) things always turn weird with men?
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It looks like my friend has opted to get back together with her ex boyfriend who was the laziest idiot I've ever heard about (not met him due to the pandemic) and never bothered to fight for their relationship in the first place. She deserves so much than him and he and his lazy butt certainly doesn't deserve her. Period. 🙄
 
been bothering me for a few days but on Monday I went to go get my hair cut and the barber there said "I've cut hair for other women too" like 😑

I know I'm not like fully FTM trans but I wish I could pass enough so that people aren't still referring to me as a woman. I won't consider hormone therapy cause I like my voice the way it is (even though it's not really deep, it's deep enough and I've started to talk with my chest more) and I really hate the idea of having body hair. I'm comfortable with the way I am (except for having to wear a binder ofc) but people are apparently still gonna see me as feminine so I either need to do something appearance wise or maybe get myself one of those "hello my pronouns are ____" pins cause every time someone refers to me as female it honestly makes me really upset (though I don't make that obvious).
 
My best friend of almost 6 years turned out to be fake. I was always defending her to everyone and taking care of her, buying her things, helping her with problems but meanwhile she was talking **** about me the entire time. She never listened to my advice, talked **** about me and anyone i was friends with that wasn't her, and every time someone "better" or more entertaining came along she would throw me to the side and even her brother noticed and said "so youre reallly gonna let her push you around like that huh?" and i ignored it because she was my best friend. once she got a boyfriend though she stopped spending time with me and whhen i would try to hang out she would lie and say she was busy or her mom wasnt letting her but then her boyfriend would go to her house smh. I tried to tell her he was treating her wrong and she would cry about how horrible he was and then scream at me for saying "im sorry that you have to go through that, he shouldnt be acting this way to you" and i ended up getting tired of putting all my love and all my effort into someone who meant so much to me but who wasn't showing it back, so i started to complain to my actual group of best friends about how i was tired of it, but it turned out the girl had been hacking my account for about a year (i never gave her my password she memorized it while i was typing..) and she read everything and that was the final straw. Kind of still dealing with that rn because I haven't been able to accept that she's a different person now. Now she's making up stuff and telling people that I was talking bad about her the whole time and that I started ignoring her and a bunch of things that she did, saying that I did them. I hate people.

this may sound petty, but this isn't even a full explanation of what happened.. she did a lot of worse things but yeah
 
When I need space/privacy and I can't get it for long stretches of time, I feel physically ill. When someone interacts with me during this time, I feel exhausted. I'm just super introverted.

And then I feel guilty for snapping at my partner. x_x
 
ForeverALoan said:
My best friend of almost 6 years turned out to be fake. I was always defending her to everyone and taking care of her, buying her things, helping her with problems but meanwhile she was talking **** about me the entire time. She never listened to my advice, talked **** about me and anyone i was friends with that wasn't her, and every time someone "better" or more entertaining came along she would throw me to the side and even her brother noticed and said "so youre reallly gonna let her push you around like that huh?" and i ignored it because she was my best friend. once she got a boyfriend though she stopped spending time with me and whhen i would try to hang out she would lie and say she was busy or her mom wasnt letting her but then her boyfriend would go to her house smh. I tried to tell her he was treating her wrong and she would cry about how horrible he was and then scream at me for saying "im sorry that you have to go through that, he shouldnt be acting this way to you" and i ended up getting tired of putting all my love and all my effort into someone who meant so much to me but who wasn't showing it back, so i started to complain to my actual group of best friends about how i was tired of it, but it turned out the girl had been hacking my account for about a year (i never gave her my password she memorized it while i was typing..) and she read everything and that was the final straw. Kind of still dealing with that rn because I haven't been able to accept that she's a different person now. Now she's making up stuff and telling people that I was talking bad about her the whole time and that I started ignoring her and a bunch of things that she did, saying that I did them. I hate people.

this may sound petty, but this isn't even a full explanation of what happened.. she did a lot of worse things but yeah
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Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been through a similar situation, and it’s mentally draining. As rough as it may seem right now, ultimately it’s good you came to this realization. To keep this short, my only advice is to just keep that person out of your life. Don’t give them much thought, they aren’t worth it. If you ever want to talk more, my DMs are always open.
 
Super petty but I wish the animated avatar extension didn’t cost so much. I’d love to have mine show different avatars I’ve had made (like Jadetine! I love her avatar 🥰) but the extension costs so much 😔

Edit: also my head hurts. Again. It’s hurt every day day for the past week and I’m over it. I’m drinking enough water and it hasn’t been as hot so it shouldn’t be hurting 😔
 
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