What's Bothering You?

i cannot catch a break. just noticed that there's a bulge under my laptop's keyboard that means the battery is probably swollen. i was already having display issues a month ago, despite only buying this laptop in february, but this is obviously much worse than that. i've been trying to save for a pc and can't afford it until the end of the year, but i obviously can't keep using this for that long in case it explodes or something. amazon has offered to refund me if i return it, thankfully, but i'm going to need a replacement in the interim, and even with the full refund (assuming it is full) i'm going to be short. i hate having to ask my nan for a loan -- even though she'd get it back in less than a month because i get paid soon -- but i don't think i'm going to have much choice rip.
 
Oh yay! I'm “so excited” for drum lessons tomorrow! Especially after not practicing at all this week!

Luckily, I didn't end up going today.
 
Last edited:
pretty sure i have an ear infection, and there's nothing i can do about it. started maybe two weeks ago, and i figured it would clear up soon enough, but now the pain is worse (especially when laying) and it seems to be swollen; my hearing's getting muffled on that side. doctors appointments are super hard to get right now, so i don't know if there's even a point calling -- last time, my medication review was a month out from when i booked it. idk if they'd take an ear infection seriously enough to try and get me in any sooner. ear drops haven't helped because i'm pretty confident it's not an ear wax issue so rip.
If you live in USA, you can try teledoc. Idk about other places. They helped me in 2020 with a bacterial respiratory infection when literally no other doctor in my area would because of the COVID fears even though I was negative, having asthma and my history and allergy to almost every antibiotic, making my case very difficult.
 
My mom has this friend who's a deacon at our church, and recently, he's been over here a lot, at least once a week. This has been happening for about a month or two, and it's the second time this week he's been here without me being notified, and about the 5th time this month.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying my mom needs my permission to have her people over, I'm just saying I would prefer to be warned so I can avoid them as much as possible.

Anyway, it's currently 10 pm, he's been here for 8-ish hours. I can't leave my damn room whenever this guy's around, because that means interacting with a Jesus fanboy. I have nothing against God and his fanbase, I think they're chill, it's particularly the people from my church who I hate with a passion (which is why I no longer attend church).

And, if you know me, you know that I overthink things A LOT, and my stupid brain has interpreted this situation as them secretly dating. On the off chance that this actually is the case, I would just like to take a moment to mention that this guy is married. Also, cheating on your partner is a big no-no in my religion, and what with him being a deacon, you'd think he'd take that to heart.


Just wanted to rant, this has been on my mind for a while and my friends are terrible listeners.
 
over quarantine i lost contact w some friends i actually enjoyed talking to so i try to talk to them again, but no response : (
it makes me sad
 
Pokémon Go is pretty good with it's premium currency (it's earnable) yet they don't even have like... a second hairstyle for your character. I spend a lot of PokéCoins on clothes, I would buy a second hairstyle. Even if it clips through existing hats, just give me something to change. I'd even take the male hairstyle just go change it up a bit. It's been over 7 years.
 
really feel like I need to go to urgent care or the ER or smth but I don't want to know what the bill would be, plus I'm not really sure if or how they could actually help. I just know feel miserable 🥲


edit: goin to the ER broskis 😔
I'm back home now, but I won't go into detail here what happened. if my friends would like to send me a message that would be nice 💞
 
If a genie gave me 1 wish as much as I would want to wish for infinite money or something I would honestly just wish to never get a migraine or tension headache ever again because oh my god i’m so sick of being stuck in bed feeling like i’m gonna die
 
May or may not have to drop 3k+ to insure my car that I had no plans on insuring atm.

Apparently my car is on my parents policy despite the fact that my car ISN'T insured. Never was. I bought it in like 2020 Feb, got a license a few months ago and now my parents insurance company wants them to insure it out of the blue. I'm out of a job, I've been looking and applying but the restrictions my parents put on me, the one I did almost get not paying min wage, other places not hiring and another place of work ghosting me after the interview (I called back just to get a quick dismissive 'we're good' even thou the interview went well), it has not been going well. Now I possibly have to put down 3k+ for a car I don't drive. Insurance is expensive cause I'm a young new driver, and my parents won't want me on their insurance which ends up costing me alot more. It costs my sis an extra like 1.5k difference to get her own insurance, I don't wanna pay that much money when I don't have any job lined up.

I also hate that I haven't been able to get a job. I'm gonna have to go work back in retail+customer service again, that did absolute horrors for my mental being. Guess I gotta be crazy depressed just to insure my car+buy groceries.

Also my parents want my sis and I to move out, and there's no way we can afford that either. Even with rooming it with other people, its still crazy expensive. Most of the paycheck alone would go to rent, that doesn't include groceries, cell phone bill, utility bill, car insurance, ect... Forget having health insurance or a medical emergency. Just suck it up and suffer.

My dad was saying how my granpa had to sleep at work 5 days a week and only go home on the weekends just to make a living. Yeah that's DEF the kind of life I want to live.
 
I work at an arcade, and I had a seven hour crazy shift today, with lots of people who either wanted to chat, or complain. I think I did great, I didn't get mad, I kept my cool through out all the line ups

Then these two kids come along seem noce enough, just regular playful kids, i thought they were cool. Then they wanna spend all their paoint on 36 airheads! Ive got people lining up, Im trying to work with these two, and manage the line ups

So I wasn't gonna gove them 36 until my manager gave me the ok. Because thats alot of airheads. So behind my back they called me a b****

I did end up giving them 36 air heads, cause my manager said it was fine. I was nice enough to them, they said sorry and thank you. But oh my god.

Im doing my best to help multiple people and I get called that !? Im letting it slide but I am defently never forgetting that. Jerks.
.
 
This family visit is not helping my health. All day I felt bloated and other unpleasant stuff because stress messes with my digestive system. Also, my oldest sibling was MIA for most of the day, which meant no time for bathroom breaks because I was babysitting. I don’t even know why she left in the first place. It didn’t seen important.

The cherry on top is that I was told that my siblings and their guests would attend the rodeo, but not that they would go to a bar afterwards. What little respect do they have for me…
 
I'm still not feeling any better and now I'm very worried about a friend again. I wish things weren't the way they are for them. I don't even know if they'll be okay.
 
feeling so exhausted and tired today 😞 if anyone wants to chat for a while hmu on Discord, I'd love that.

to add on, I find it interesting that I've always been an introvert, and yet lately I'm really craving the attention of others. probably because I've been feeling so lonely lately, but that seems to be something that's only really started to hit me this year.
I'm treating this like I have the flu, because honestly it might as well be. I'm obviously not like sneezing or coughing or anything like that, but I've had many physical symptoms (trembling, being cold, headache) and then the mental symptoms which people don't see but are definitely there. I'm glad that I'm starting to break out of that "I can't see mental health issues therefore they are not valid like physical health issues" mindset I was conditioned into, bc now is not a good time to be harsh on myself, plus... it's just generally pretty rude and insensitive.

hopefully I can spend some time today doing things I enjoy and talking to friends, in the meantime I'll probably try to go back to sleep. I desperately need it 😪
 
Back
Top