What's Bothering You?

The one Aus server I’m on has so many people that get drunk a lot and I just don’t wanna be around it but god I tried makin friends who live here on Discord,

Legit a lot of days I wonder: is this a really unhealthy hate for people doin this or a phase while I work out my boundary on it
 
I got a couple of ability patches from a ditto tera raid. The next raid i tried doing froze at the starting menu and I lost everything and the eggs I was hatching too :/. the glitches and bugs in this game are so ridiculous. how can such a successful game franchise fail in so many ways with this game? the game is fun but it really falls far from meeting the quality of the original games. It bothers me also how big of a quality difference there is between this and sword/shield (aside from the multiplayer aspect). Also, I really wish they’d do away with trade evolutions rather than add more. I’ve always hated them. I liked when Feebas evolved by raising its beauty.
 
I'm tired of not being able to sleep when I'm actually sleepy. I was about to try sleeping, but I felt like I was going to choke and now I'm suddenly wide awake? I was very sleepy earlier... I don't feel better either, so I might be up for quite a while.
 
probably kinda stupid, but ever since that incident happened a while ago, collectibles have kinda put a bad taste in my mouth. especially ones that are considered super rare. like I've come to associate many of them with stress, and that really sucks.

also have been giving thought to joining a martial arts class off and on for quite a while now (as in, probably over a year at this point), but the main place in town that offers classes only does them in the evening and starts literally a short while before my shift ends at work. I would like to ask my supervisor if I could start working earlier in the day, but I don't know if that's even possible given the current circ schedule. I'll likely have to find a class somewhere else that happens during the day and not in the evening. and honestly, if I move up to full time then I still may not be able to participate, because my hours would be even less flexible. I don't know. I really would like to do this but of course work will get in the way. 🫠
 
I feel like I'll never get better. I hate having BPD so much. I ruin everything I touch, even relationships with the people I love very much. I don't know why anyone puts up with me. I feel like a terrible person. I lash out in fits of rage very often, more often than I used to. I feel guilt, anguish, regret. I wish I didn't destroy everything that came into my life 😭
 
Got several new neighbors, it's a bit uncomfortable because there was a little forest there before and now we have people peering in our backyard, they are a bit loud as well and this morning one of them was walking in our flowerbeds and took our stones... and didn't bring them back.... what's next? I'm super annoyed already, I wish we could just put back the forest and forget about them. Could be worse, in some streets with single houses, they destroyed old houses and built apartments with balconies giving on people's backyard, imagine, some people had cute country houses with orchards as neighbors and now it's a building with dozen of balconies watching them playing in their pool.
 
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