What's Bothering You?

i want to stop thinking abt him but it’s so hard omfg it just hit me outta nowhere earlier now i can’t stop thinking about it and now i’m upset
 
My college has a gaming discord so I thought it would be fun to join, but the issue is that my dad freaked out when my brother told him about it (I was asking my brother to join but he ended up telling him instead) because it's a "waste of time"

I try to join something that interests me and where I might be able to talk to others/make friends and he doesn't like it lmao how else does he want me to interact with other people because he's free to offer suggestions (which he hasn't)?? I feel bad because I do want to join in voice chat and stuff (which might also benefit me if it helps me improve my social skills/anxiety?), but so far it seems I'll just need to keep making excuses as to why I can't join vc. I'm hoping my mom might be more understanding and convince my dad since these are people from school rather than random online strangers

they've been letting my younger brother go out with his friends whenever he feels like and let him stay out as long as he wants (~curfew~ is 10pm, dude stays out past 12am), but they've never met his friends that he's always with nor have they ever pried into what he does/where he goes. So I honestly see no problem with me talking to people online especially since I'm 20?? Obviously I'll try meeting people when I have to go to school in-person, but please at least let me stay in the gaming group where I feel less anxious 🙃
 
I'm gonna put it in a spoiler, because it's a bit disgusting and I don't want to make people want to throw up, lol.
So.. this night wasn't fun at all, let me tell you. I woke up like 5 times from midnight to 3:30AM to go pee. The last time I woke up, so about 3:30AM I felt really really dizzy, barely being able to walk and felt a lot like I'm going to throw up. My belly was also hurting, I'm guessing it was preparing for a contraction. Anyways.. I open the door from our bedroom, and our toilet is literally 1 meter away from the bedroom.. my cat Poppy decided to poop exactly in this spot. Now, it wasn't just a poop.. it was pretty damn liquid, but yet a bit solid. Me super dizzy trying to get to the toilet, I don't think about watching the ground. Yup, I walked into cat diarreah, while I was already preparing to throw up. The smell, awful. The feeling on my feet, awful. The sight of just the poop, awful. I somehow managed to clean it up and do my 5th pee of the night without throwing up. That wasn't enough for the night, my body thought. I got my first real contraction this night. I had no idea how painful it's going to be. I knew it would be painful, but that much? Holy moly I am scared now for the upcoming days / weeks. And the worst is, that from next week on my fiancé is going away for 2 weeks to South of France, which is about 8h away from home. He told them so many times to NOT send him away at this time, because I'm due in about 1 month, but y'know.. it can always happen earlier than expected. So.. that scares me even more. I have tons of numbers to drive me to hospital, but I don't want to be there all alone, I don't want to be in pain alone, I'm extremelly scared now. He tried to make them send someone else, but they refuse. He promised me that he will drive back as soon as I call him that I have contractions, but still.. 8 hours is a lot. It's scary, really scary. Also for my cat: We are changing back to the old food now, as it seems they just can't digest the food.. one cat keeps getting diarreah and all of them are puking it out, ugh.
 
Slow day at work, I rly don't like going into town like we do once a week cause they need help with stuff... Can I just get saturday so i can get my jab 2 lol
 
I haven't been going to the gym as much as I usually do and It's just causing me to have body issues more than I usually do. I feel like if I had a scale to show that I probably haven't gained weight in just a couple of days it would ease that anxiety, but I also know that this w/ body checking can be dangerous so,, its just frustrating. I think I'm just gonna start clearing up more time for the gym, so I have no excuses. I want to start lifting more.
 
The fact I just announced "Hey look, I'm Francine!" to a bunch of people who didn't know wtf I was on about and I spectacularly failed to explain.

For context, I just noticed I was wearing blue and white dotted socks, so it made perfect sense to me, even if not to them.

Screw them all anyway, I AM Francine!
 
Long time no vent
My cat hasn’t been feeling well for last few weeks. She got diagnosed with lymphoma today. The vet gave her some steroids and an appetite stimulant to try and perk her up a little, but she’s 15 and there’s not much they can do. I don’t know how much longer we have together, but I’m going to treasure every moment of it.
 
The fact that it seems like there are often a bunch of tiny things in the back of my mind (similar to low background static) that bother me from a long time ago that are things that no person could change or control in their own life. What I describe is I suppose comparable to randomly remembering an embarrassing moment from X years ago when you are trying to go to sleep :LOL: 🙈🤦‍♀️😑
The, "I wish such and such circumstance was different because X" or "so X" "and then X" ect...
I mean I am working through that, but it still bothers me.
hope I am not the only one who feels this way...
 
The new person we were meant to be hiring at our store just ghosted us and now I have to take on some extra work 😔 I don't understand why someone would apply to a job, interview, fill out all the contracts, and then just completely stop all communication with us
 
why is it whenever we go into lockdown companies and schools are always like "hey now you've so much time on your hands you should be doing this/planning to get going once we're out of lockdown!!", like no, I'd rather relax and process things rn than think about work so can u pls **** off lmao
 
i hope they will be okay if i "only"do like 80% if i get more hours cause i don't think i can do 100% really (yes there's a huge difference if you have any kind of asd stuff goin on..probably for others as well).
 
She's kinda upset because she got the vaccine last day and now... she's feeling really bad, she can't stand to stand up :s
 
RoxasFan20 said:
Even though I'm back I still feel like a ghost and a shadow to everyone.
Click to expand...
Welcome back! It'll take a few days to readjust I'm sure. Also everyone's distracted by the camp event right now, maybe you could still join if you're interested?
 
RoxasFan20 said:
No I am not interested. I am not really too good at being in big groups it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Click to expand...
I don't mind groups or teams but I'm not that one perfect team player and I don't really care for like drama or stuff being too run by others in my free time, lol. I can get the idea behind teams and cabins but tbf I miss the individual fair some (aside from staff faves cause i never get those anyways lol)
 
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