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What's Bothering You?

I guess I used to have a thing with this girl. Things were going well but it went south real fast. I actually work with her brother and he asked me what happened between us, because he really likes me as a person. I don’t know. It’s been eleven months since I’ve last seen the girl. I haven’t seen her since I left. That may have upset her. I don’t know what happened. It’s truly a mystery to me.

It’s just weird that he brought it up. It makes me wonder if she mentioned me recently, but I don’t see how I could’ve been brought up in the first place. Besides, I’ve basically been over the whole situation.
 
I already said this before, but I can’t believe I’ve ghosted the most loyal people in my life multiple times. They care for me and I care for them and yet I kept forgetting to reply to their texts.
 
I hate the fact that whenever I talk abt myself or things I like to my SO in any capacity, I feel like I'm being self centered and selfish. I'm also terrified to talk abt how I actually feel and when I do I kinda have a mini breakdown.

trauma sucks.


edit: another big thing that's bothering me, and it also has to do with past trauma. the death of queen Elizabeth has made me incredibly sad and is also causing me a great deal of anxiety. ever since 2018 happened and I lost 3 people close to me (including my cat Daisy) in some of the worst ways possible, I just feel a great deal of fear and panic when I hear about someone's death. just typing this out is making me tear up.
 
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I'm going to start a new island because I hate myself and honestly I just enjoy the beginning of the island more than the upkeep. I almost have all achievements and I don't care. I love doing the tutorial etc. And I also like changing the name. But damn is it a lot of work if you time travel. And I won't not time travel. It's just a ****load of work, but I literally dreamt about doing that last night.
 
While I can understand that my fiance is trying to do the best out of the situation of not being at home, it bothers me that he literally keeps forgetting to reply me, because he's too busy being at the bar with his collegue.
 
All the big changes this year globally and what it will mean for millions of people this autumn and winter. I would hope next summer will be sunny but I honestly don't know. When alot of things can happen in a week's time, months can easily be a different reality. And today is much different than jan 1 2022. June of 2023 will be much different than Sept 9 2022. I just hope for bright days and a good reality to come.
 
EA really needs to fix their servers. I can’t connect on this game but it lets me connect on other games. This has been an ongoing issue throughout the community. This game requires online to function and I want to play.
 
my SO never said good night to me, he just kinda disappeared. I hope he's okay. I'm really anxious abt it and I can't sleep at all 😥

edit: it's now 2am and I still can't sleep. I occasionally drift into sleep but something wakes me up. I'm sure he is okay I just worry abt him a lot 😭
 
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oh no! i hope he feels better soon and that no one else catches it. 😕 praying for a speedy recovery; i’ll keep you guys in my thoughts. 💜 *virtual hugs*
Thank you so much, xara. 💜

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My mom suddenly had to go to the hospital just now because she was in a lot of pain. If everyone would please keep her in their thoughts and wish her well, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm really scared and worried and I just want her to be okay.
 
I know that feeling. I guess the thing to realize here is that it isn’t your fault. In the scenario that you think it’s something you said, that isn’t the case 99% of the time. Another scenario is that he likely just fell asleep or just needed some time to himself. Worrying doesn’t help the situation, so it’s best just to try to sleep and remember that tomorrow is a new day.

I remember staying up worrying about situations out of my control, and it’s not a very healthy thing to do. You just have to realize that there are lots of things you can’t control. You can’t control the actions of other people. You can’t control how other people feel about you. Eventually, you’ll have to accept that lack of control, which sucks, I know. My apologies if you didn’t want a reply.
 
I swear I'm the most unlucky person, So I got the covid-19 booster (4th one) on Monday earlier this week and now I got a cold.. Welp 🙃

I really hope it's just not actual covid-19 and just a late side effect or **** cause I have been feeling a bit shiver/fever side effect past days but yeah sucks when you need to stay home, I'm literally climbing the walls rn.
 
My favorite person was having a crappy day and I wish I could just hug her and tell her it’ll be okay. I’m so glad she trusts me enough to come to me and even more to openly cry in front of me. I like how she doesn’t feel the need to hide it. I just want to make sure she is okay before I sleep.
 
Japan claiming I can send stuff various way when they can only do like, FedEx. I really hate FedEx for a reason and I wish they could do like DHL or UPS instead.
 
I know that feeling. I guess the thing to realize here is that it isn’t your fault. In the scenario that you think it’s something you said, that isn’t the case 99% of the time. Another scenario is that he likely just fell asleep or just needed some time to himself. Worrying doesn’t help the situation, so it’s best just to try to sleep and remember that tomorrow is a new day.

I remember staying up worrying about situations out of my control, and it’s not a very healthy thing to do. You just have to realize that there are lots of things you can’t control. You can’t control the actions of other people. You can’t control how other people feel about you. Eventually, you’ll have to accept that lack of control, which sucks, I know. My apologies if you didn’t want a reply.
I did eventually think abt the fact that he probably fell asleep, and that ended up being the case. I'm not necessarily trying to control him I just have a lot of anxiety and it worries me when he just suddenly stops replying to me. especially because last night he was getting hit pretty hard by depression and I was afraid something bad happened. but I know he's okay now so it's all good.
 
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