The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Ace Marvel]

Oh honey! Bless your heart, I have the essentials oil to cure that! three drops of citrus lavender on each eye and you won't have to see something horrible again. Love Laugh Live!

How do you start a coup d'etat?

 

[Zander]

Start blocking twitter accts.

Why is this big red light flashing?

 

[Clock]

It’s a sign that there’s could be a possible threat.

Or maybe a state of emergency!

Run as fast as you can for safety!

How do I hide from Duolingo bird?

 

[Kurb]

It is inevitable, don't run.
Wordpress isn't working, help

 

[Clock]

Delete your website
My printer isn't working!

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Throw it out of the window and plug it in again.

I already have Raymond in my town, but how can I get more of him?

 

[Midoriya]

Invent a Raymond cloning machine and use it on him.

How should I open this jar of salsa?

 

[Ace Marvel]

Throw it against the ceiling and be ready to catch the salsa.

How do you fix your eyesight?

 

[pochy]

i usually stare straight into the sun whenever my vision's getting worse, it helps your eyes build immunity <3

so how should i cut my nails if i can't find the nail clippers??

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Use scissors to not only cut your nails, but to get it nice and sharp as well. I’m hungry but I’m too lazy. What can I do?

 

[Bread Kennedys]

Have a pile of instant ramen packs on the floor and just eat it out of the package. Feel the cronch.

How do I win a beauty pageant without any prior experience of being beautiful?

 

[Kurb]

cosplay as a borderline nsfw character

guys my cat is staring at nonexistent things help

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Stick a Nintendo Switch to your cat's face.

I keep making punctuation errors. How can I avoid making the same mistakes?

 

[Ace Marvel]

If you don't use punctuation, then you can't make errors.

How do keep my house clean?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Use a black hole as opposed to using a vacuum to clean up the nook and cranny of your entire house!

My PS3 controller is going crazy. Help...

 

[sigh]

1. make sure your window is closed
2. throw the ps3 controller at your window with full force, 10 points if it breaks through
3. repeat until step 2 until successful and buy a new one

i keep staying up too late. how can i go to bed at a normal time?

 

[Kurb]

Watch Clickbait Youtube. That'll be so boring it'll send you straight to sleep.

 

[Clock]

I've locked myself in! Now what!?

 

[pochy]

wait a couple months, if ur lucky, you might've lost enough weight to slither under the door frame!!

help i've stained my beloved comic how do i wash it out???

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Use bleach! I’m feeling nauseous and I need some remedies.