The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Bcat]

Sell your soul to an art demon

How do I land a plane?

 

[FRANS_PLAYER]

Go fly up into space.

What should you feed your new pet frog?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Beans. Only beans. You should only eat BEANS, too.

Give me directions to McDonald’s.

 

[sunnybear526]

Go to Burger King

how doI get all of my dreamies?

 

[Bcat]

Buy them for 40 million bells each on nookazon.

How do I get the water out of my ear?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Get a plunger.

my brownies won’t cook! What am I doing wrong?

 

[sunnybear526]

You need to set your oven on fire

My dog is eating grass what do I do

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Join him/her.

Nook is knocking on my door really hard. I don’t know what I did! what should I do?

 

[chocosongee]

construct a rocket and blast away into space so he doesnt find u

i want to online shop but im broke wat do i do

 

[Bcat]

rob a bank. Everyone is wearing facemasks now anyways - no one will know it's you.

My cat is sick. How can I help her?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Give medicine that is not meant for animals.

I sat on a whoopee cushion without knowing! How do I find the suspect that did it?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Follow the string on the whoopee cushion.

Soo...how do I convince a sea witch that you can have pineapple on pizza?

 

[frogslime]

Hold her hostage until she gives in or develops Stockholm Syndrome.

How do I become smart?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Read wikihow.

whats a good shade of blue for the ocean?

 

[Midoriya]

Pokémon’s Alolan region Melemele Island at night in the 3DS games, where the ocean looks the same as the... sky. Yeah... you can’t really tell which is which and it looks like Melemele Island is floating in outer space. LMFAO

How should I slice this apple?

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

You know how anime swordsmen quickly draw their sword by like 2 inches and then slam it back and afterwards their target is suddenly sliced up?
Well you do that

How do i use order of operations

 

[Seastar]

You call the operator and say... "I have an order!"?

How would you stop someone/something from eating all the food in sight?

 

[Clock]

Steal all the food.
How do I catch a wasp?

 

[Midoriya]

Swing your arms at it and keep doing that until you catch its attention.

How do I stay hydrated?

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

Drink water until you can feel it slosh around in your gut

How do i ride a horse