The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Seastar]

Scream the name of the item you want as loudly as you can. That will get its attention.

How do I stop eating sweets?

 

[Neb]

Sprinkle pepper all over the sweets you already have.

How do I do a moonwalk?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Walk on the moon. Simple as that.

how do I unicycle?

 

[Clock]

Just go on, thats pretty much it.
How do I stop a loud neighbor?

 

[MoogleKupo]

Scream even louder it'll scare them

I am hot, but it is summer time, i wish for it to be cold, when it is cold I wish for it to be hot. How do I cope with this feeling

 

[Neb]

Attach a portable fan to your head during the Summer and a small heater during the Winter.

How do you deal with crippling loneliness?

 

[Midoriya]

Dang, I’m ngl, I thought this was the “ask the below user a question” thread and I was very sad and confused, lol.

King Dedede voice: Anyway, if ya wanna deal with crippling loneliness, it’s easy. All you need to do is become good friends with someone and have them agree to let ya clone them! Just like I did with my good friend MapleSilver, when I created SilverMaple and MapleGold. Just don’t let them turn on ya! That’s why I have these Waddle Dees to protect me! They’re small, expendable, and all the same... kind of just like clones. Huh. That’s weird.

How to play an electric guitar?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Plug a regular guitar into an electric socket and start strumming away! You might feel a few shocks every time you play, though.

How do I make a meme?

 

[Jamborenium]

why make your own meme? when you can simply steal a meme online and claim it as your own, none will be the wiser


how do I teach my cat to play the piano?

 

[Clock]

Let it be free on the piano
It will play on it

What is an alternative to gps?

 

[Lothitine]

A map, preferably tracking your trail in a dotted red line

how to pet a cat

 

[axaniao]

Rub them on their belly, it's their favorite spot =)

How to not be obsessed with Jotaro ??

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Delete him from your memory. I don't know how it can be possible, but good luck!

I'm being chased by a bunch of dogs! Help!

 

[Lothitine]

Get a cat!!

My chopper plush’s leg came off

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Use flex tape.

I'm surrounded by cute things. What do I do before I pass out from cuteness overload?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Cover your eyes?

I am lonely

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Hug all of your villagers but they're all plush toys!

How do I remove paint from a wall?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Idk

I was doing a trade on Nookazon and this dude wanted some items I was selling. He said he'd be available in an hour, I told him I had ten minutes, blah blah. He gave me three stars, I gave him four. Why give me a bad review because you weren't available? Anyways, I apologized because I don't want a random three star rating. He accepted and changed his review. We did the trade. He was being pretty nice but kinda creepy. He's been getting even more creepy. He asked me if he could come over out of the blue, he asked me how many bells I had, he wanted to know what I was doing today. I know that isn't that bad, but coming from a complete stranger, I was getting uncomfortable. I reported him but haven't gotten a response. Everytime I complete the chat, he reopens it. Not sure what do do, please help? This is real btw

 

[nightxshift]

Idk

I was doing a trade on Nookazon and this dude wanted some items I was selling. He said he'd be available in an hour, I told him I had ten minutes, blah blah. He gave me three stars, I gave him four. Why give me a bad review because you weren't available? Anyways, I apologized because I don't want a random three star rating. He accepted and changed his review. We did the trade. He was being pretty nice but kinda creepy. He's been getting even more creepy. He asked me if he could come over out of the blue, he asked me how many bells I had, he wanted to know what I was doing today. I know that isn't that bad, but coming from a complete stranger, I was getting uncomfortable. I reported him but haven't gotten a response. Everytime I complete the chat, he reopens it. Not sure what do do, please help? This is real btw

Find their location and kill them.

My crush bailed on me. What should I do?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Find their location and kill them.

My crush bailed on me. What should I do?

jesus- I was serious-

Become a yandere