What's Bothering You?

I won't even lie sometimes it's really satisfying to just scribble down ideas on paper. I hate when art influencers perpetuate the idea that all art needs to be perfect and look stunning. not it doesn't, having art that is scribbly and messy shows that you're willing to make mistakes and grow as an artist. having everything be perfect is pretty boring anyways, I love looking back at my older mediocre sketches and drawings bc they often have funny backstories. 😄
Right? I just scribbled down some character design ideas and notes at 3 AM the other night and I’m really proud of what I made!
 
Raccoons are omnivores so they eat meat and greens. They normally don't eat such big game unless their system has been interrupted/their original sources are scarce. At the end of the day, they have to eat to live. Just like the birds and rabbits that try to eat my vegetable gardens. I wouldn't mind if they actually ate one whole piece of fruit/vegetable, but they graze on every single piece and it makes it all where I can't salvage what I had grown lol. It's such a pain.
Oh I know...I just kind of shocked by it.
 
My job exam tomorrow. I didn't prepare as much as I would've liked due to my babysitting schedule. What make this even more stressful is that I took this exam before in 2019, but failed it.

I should focus on the positive that it's only going to be one hour of hell.😄😅😭
Nevermind. I didn’t stand a chance. The what-if customer service section stumped me good. You can’t actually prepare for those situations unless you’ve been in a similar situation. Which, I haven’t because I never had a customer service job.🙃
 
i really wanna talk to some of my old friends again but i'm kinda scared to do so. i don't wanna make things awkward!
 
The person who used to be my favorite person said some really nasty, transphobic things about me and refused to use my new name. On top of that he’s just been treating me like ****. I think I might have to end things between us, which sucks, but it’s for the best. Really sad when he’s the one who wanted this in the first place. Oh well.
 
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Why do some people have to act like if I'm not actively trying to change my body, then I'm making some sort of ~political statement~ or promoting this or that or the other thing. Like no I would actually just like to exist comfortably in peace thanks🧍‍♂️
 
they changed two buttons on the sims 4 xbox (they swapped two buttons: the bumpers are for switching sims and RT and LT are for changing the game’s speed) and it’s messing me up so bad. :,)
it might be just me but it also seems like create a sim is so glitchy that it’s unplayable. whenever i move my cursor, it clicks on the wrong thing.
going to go bury my face in my cat now.
 
Haven't vented here in a long time, but I needed to today. I have a health issue that's making me chronically tired constantly and it makes it very difficult to function. Well, after weeks of waiting just to get my referral to go through to the specialist, they're backed up all the way until January of last year. So I had to call my doctor again to put the referral to somewhere else. This is already after seeing one specialist before and having my bloodwork done twice. America's healthcare system really is just ****. The lady on the phone I was talking to said her son had a heart attack and couldn't get in until 4 months.
 
I think I may have an explanation for my incessant anxiety as of late.

I set up an appt with the doctor before work today, because I've been having really bad physical symptoms of anxiety for the last 4-5 days and frankly it's starting to worry me. I haven't been able to really enjoy doing anything, I feel pretty miserable and unwell.

after I talked about my symptoms and he checked my vitals, he brought up the idea of me having hyperthyroidism, and he had me get blood work done before I left. honestly? after reading all the symptoms of hyperthyroidism I'm thinking that's what it may be. it would explain why I feel overly anxious and have physical symptoms like trembling and palpitations, and having basically no appetite and losing weight, feeling tired/fatigued a lot, inability to concentrate, and some other issues I've been dealing with.

this might sound bad, but I really hope it's hyperthyroidism. because if they've pinpointed it then I can start actually being treated and hopefully feeling better. I'm doing so well with my recovery and I've got a lot of wonderful things going on in my life now, I really don't want anything to get in the way of that 😞
 
Ugghhhhh what a day 🥴 end of month and end of financial year are not fun with nationwide internet outages!! Literally the worst thing ever
 
update: if I'm looking at my test results properly... that's not it. *sigh* 🙃

idk what's wrong with me but I can't keep dealing with this. I've basically been incapacitated for the last 3 days because I don't feel well at all. if I can't get this figured out I may have to take myself to a hospital.

really could use some positive energy right now, I just want to start feeling okay again 😞
 
I saw my favorite person today but for some reason I’m more worried about this girl that never showed up for work today, lol. I was wondering where she was at for the past few hours and I’m hoping she’ll be there tomorrow. I don’t even work tomorrow but I’m going to be wondering if she comes in. I hope she didn’t quit, lol. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about this other girl but she’s been awesome for the past week or so that I’ve known her.

It’s nothing like my favorite person, though. I could never throw this out. She’s so sweet.
I’m just worried about my friend and why she suddenly didn’t show up since it’s not like her. I hope she’s okay.
 
I've got a massive headache for counting and calcuating the bills and without going into detail its very pricey and I'll have little to no money by the end of the month (July). I do get money every month but 90% of it goes to paying off all the bills and I don't have any money left for other personal stuff.
 
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my grandma is in the emergency room (nothing life threatening tho) and i haven’t eaten anything but vending machine snacks the whole day. my mom and i are still waiting at the hospital to see if she can come home or not. we’ve been here since 12:00 pm and it’s almost 10:00 pm, (i know the doctors are doing there best) i’m so hungry
 
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