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What's Bothering You?

@Roxxy I am very sorry for your loss. My DMs are always open if you need anything. She sounded like an amazing person, and she probably left a long lasting impression on your life. Thinking of you 💜
 
My grandma will flip out if I don’t get her a souvenir from my trip but she’s been very transphobic to me lately. I don’t want to get her anything but she’ll make me feel like a terrible person if I don’t. She already is showing anger towards me, likely based on the fact that I present more on the masculine side. She said “do you really like your eyebrows like that?”
 
My grandma will flip out if I don’t get her a souvenir from my trip but she’s been very transphobic to me lately. I don’t want to get her anything but she’ll make me feel like a terrible person if I don’t. She already is showing anger towards me, likely based on the fact that I present more on the masculine side. She said “do you really like your eyebrows like that?”
You’ll may have to take the heat on this one. I know she will get rude if you don’t give her a gift, but someone that shows with this level of disrespect don’t deserve gifts.

Giving spoiled brats what they want is the last thing I would want to do.
 
Why are some people just impossible? Totally and utterly impossible. I'm done helping them. Usually I don't care what people say to me, but what was said to me tonight, I'm disgusted and appalled. Seriously, everyone here is so much nicer and supportive to me than one of my own family members is to me.
 
As
I understand that my mom is genuinely worried about me taking this trip, but honestly she's treating me as if I'm not an adult with 24 years under my belt. she's still in a mindset as if I'm 15 and still very naive and ignorant. like I appreciate the concern, but I wish she would understand that this isn't just something I'm doing all willy-nilly, there's a lot of planning and research and preparation going into this. I'll always have my own safety in mind and I'll definitely be bringing things to protect myself if need be. and of course I'll be sure that I'm fully financially stable so nothing bad happens.

I don't know, I'm still gonna go regardless, because I am in fact in my mid-20s and I need to get out and have actually decent experiences in my life, and not always be stuck in cornfield Ohio. I just want to start living my own life and not having my parents constantly breathing down my neck. I need to live a little.
My son is 20. It is so hard sometimes to see your baby grown up but that is my problem. You raise your children to be responsible adults and I treat him as an adult.

You are young and you need to enjoy life. I’m not your mum but I do care so just as I always say to my son, have fun but take care and stay safe ❤️
 
could've sworn I took my allergy med this morning, yet here I am dealing with a sinus headache 😔

hopefully ibuprofen will take it away, I think I'll still enjoy my evening but it's really not helping my tiredness and fatigue.
 
For the better part of this year I've felt like I've been standing in a long dark tunnel and anytime I reach the light at the end of the tunnel I'm pulled back in and I'm back to square one with my feelings that make me feel like pants. I hate this vicious cycle that I know what will help alleviate it but it feels like it's never going to come. I just want to feel like me again and stop fixating on silly little things that I swear brings on bouts of anxiety.
 
I don’t normally post but so grateful for my friends on here so here goes 🥺

I am still around and checking in as here is my happy place. I know my lineup post was a bit cryptic but ok breathe. My beautiful mum died yesterday and my heart is broken.

Thank you for all the love and support. I am so very grateful. You know who you are. Ily ❤️❤️❤️
Aww Roxxy, I'm so sorry to hear that! My condolences to you and your family at this time 💔🫂 I wish you the best while you grieve, and be patient with yourself on your journey that comes along with it 💞 if you ever need to vent, my DMs are always open! 💜

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found out today that a workmate of mine passed away this weekend 💔 I only spent a short amount of time with him, but he was so funny and full of life and always had a good joke with him. I remember having a great time at the pub with him and others 💔 RIP my friend
 
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I cant talk about the reasoning on this site but I had the WORST panic attack of my life last night and my body still hurts. I almost called 911. I knew why it was happening so I knew it wasn't a heart attack, but it legit hurt me so badly. I still feel like ****. I hate anxiety so much.
 
Bit sad/happy. My male cat is being rehomed :( he hasnt been very happy recently with the other two cats. He will be going to a great home/place but I feel sad still.
 
I hate closing and I have three in a ****ing row, tic tac toe. I hate closing at this job.

Someone quit and I’m stuck closing until she can find someone else. Then she has to find my replacement before I go to the job I prefer full time. I did the right thing, but I hope this doesn’t take too long.

I closed at the other job Saturday night. I don’t mind it there. At all. It’s what I have mostly been doing and I haven’t been stressed at all. Not once. At the other job… I hate closing and especially weekends. I don’t have to do weekends there unless it’s an extreme emergency. I’m clearly happier at the other place. I’m glad I’m transferring, but it’s just a bunch of closes (which I’d be flipping out if they were not double shifts for me since apparently it’s okay to leave it like this???) I don’t want to give it my all for someone who doesn’t give a ****. And I’m definitely not working after anyone else.


If I come into this almost every morning I may as well be closing, WTH.
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sigh… I’m going to cut the vagueness in my pressure to be perfect and how I feel I can’t upset others for a little. Tonight I asked my boyfriend what I should do since I was bored and he just… forgot the timezone difference. It was midnight here and he asked how the weather was and suggested walking around my yard.
I literally have my timezone automatically converted in my Discord profile with a unix code for stuff like this, he’s done this before, I literally pointed it out to him when I added it last week, I’m just, and so I get upset about this… so I hop off and let him know for two hours to try and take care of myself and come back to some of his worst self-loathing and he goes back to sleep. I’m so tired of this.

Crap like this is why I feel like I can never rest. Even when I take the time to and take responsibility for my own frustration, I’m either not able to actually rest because I’m sick in that time, or my neighbours spontaneously blast music, or my parents spontaneously argue, or there’s spontaneously construction… or maybe I could have got rest and I come back to see things got worse anyway. Rest is a myth apparently.

I’ve tried so much from giving eachother space, to trying to have a mature chat, to focusing on more “fun” stuff, etc. At some point it genuinely feels like it would be easier to act perfect, mask around absolutely everyone, etc. and act like I don’t have problems. It feels like everyone around me wants to avoid rather than confront and fix problems, and I can’t cover for them on my own any more, and I feel like a negative presence over it. I just feel this absolutely insane pressure to be perfect. Honestly, I put my absolute best effort in to my art and my relationship and my home life during camp 2023, and it feels like even that wasn’t good enough, so I guess I just have to be perfect.
 
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