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What's Bothering You?

I feel like I’m trying too hard to make a friendship work when I don’t think it’s working. I put too much effort in and I feel like I’m too much. She told me she’s not much of a texter but it feels weird when she only replies 5% of the time. It’s also weird that she’s more talkative with me in person so it’s super confusing.
 
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today is one of those days at work where everything is hard 🫠 my body just does not want to move anymore
 
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I woke up too early after having a nightmare. In the nightmare, it was going to be 200 degrees f tomorrow and I was terrified. Firstly there was no way our house would stay cool given the condition it's in (It also did poorly in last year's winter) and secondly I'm still traumatized by a sudden fire that happened last month and there would definitely be another if this temperature was real. I wonder if that's what caused the nightmare...
I am so glad it wasn't real, but I think I only got 4-5 hours of sleep. I might try to go back to sleep...
 
I was winning a 200cc cup in MK8 deluxe, but I got screwed out of winning on the last lap. And to the worst racer design-wise.

I’m gonna try again later. I hate being cheated out of winning by another AI player.
 
is there any way to stop projecting my health anxiety of my other family members? whenever a member of my family gets sick, i start imagining the worst and it just RUINS me and tears me up inside. i mean it was pretty bad before but ever since my brother died, it’s just taken on an entire life of its own and it’s making me crazy
 
This is the third time I’ve found one of those smaller-than-a-grain-of rice mystery crawly things in the bathroom…I hope they’re not baby centipedes. I tried to look at one up close and it looked more like a tiny segmented woodlouse or something. Maybe they’re firebrat ‘cause I see them more often. I tried to do some research and found nothing. I’m just glad they’re small enough to squish without grossing me out too much. (If anybody has seen these and know what they are let me know @.@)
 
This Mario Kart track Vancouver Velocity is impossible to get first place on 200cc.

I think it’s time to scrap the grading system altogether. Without that, there’s no incentive to consistently finish every race in first place, so all you get is a trophy. You can’t make a game impossibly hard and expect people to beat it.

EDIT: I finally beat the Cherry Cup 200cc with three stars. I still don’t like how the game can cheat you out of winning at the end. But the grading system is the worst aspect of Mario Kart. I can take the blue shells, lightning, bloopers, boos, and coins as power-ups. Just get rid of the incentive that encourages perfect play.
 
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Was debating where to post this, but here should be fine.

People in general who turn into sellouts really bother me, perhaps more than anything else does. This has been on my mind for the past several months, actually. It's unfortunate that there's so many posers in this world.
 
schedule to go into the city court this Tuesday at 9am to pay for my ticket, just thinking about it is making me feel so scared and anxious 🥲 having incessant and spiraling thoughts about stressful situations is just one of the many perks of being autistic 👍
edit: okay so I guess I only need to go in if I want to fight it, and I don't, because I know I deserved that ticket. but I have to wait til Monday to go in and pay it. wish I could just get it done now so I don't have to worry about it anymore 😭

you know, I do get stressed/anxious easily, but it's not usually so bad that I feel like I desperately need some company. nothing I've done alone today can relieve this nagging feeling I have. just feeling a lot of things I guess.
 
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I hate how I used to get bullied in school. I graduated back in 2016 but I realize that the problem hasn't improved. Bullying in school needs to be better dealt with. Teachers need to stop playing hero and actually do something. Punish the students bullying and don't tell the victim to just ignore it. Don't give false hope and say "things will get better." I was told that for years. It didn't stop until after I graduated and was able to work at a job with adults, or at least people that know how to act like adults. At work the bad behavior is disciplined at work so it's stopped before it gets out of hand.
 
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