What's Bothering You?

trying to find a job alongside full-time studying is impossible... it's either get a job or pass uni rn. i just need one company to believe in me that's all
 
my favourite pair of pants have been ruined because of course my period decided to start today. when i forgot my sanitary product bag at home and i had a class within the next hour. luckily the washroom napkin vendor came in clutch and gave me a sanitary napkin for only 25 cents but the damage was already done :(.. i keep track of my cycle and it has NEVER started this early so for it to start today of all days is just proof that the earth is against me.
 
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So, every morning in our first period class, we go through the morning announcements slideshow, and today there was a "Say No To Discrimination" slide. I had absolutely no problem with that, in fact, I was quite happy that they put that up. Our lovely humanities teacher decided to have a little class discussion (which ended up taking the entire period) about the content of that slide. There was discussion about racism, misogyny, religion, etc. However, when we got to homophobia... boy oh boy did things get uncomfortable quick.

I'm not comfortable going into specifics regarding what was said, but basically there were some uncomfy comments regarding the bathroom situation for trans people and some "jokes" about pronouns. There were some comments regarding the amount of gender and orientation labels which made me a little uneasy, but it wasn't too bad.

However, by the end of that discussion I was trying SO HARD to not start crying. I hate this generation.
 
had to go to the ER tonight bc my anxiety decided to skyrocket out of nowhere and i started having heart palpitations and it freaked me out :,) thankfully i have an upcoming dr appt! i can finally tell them about my chronic nausea that gives me anxiety bc of my emetophobia that’s been going on for 2 years already and the reason it’s taken me so long to get checked is because i am deathly afraid of the doctors!!
 
I am very hard on myself and I recently had an awkward interaction at work that I've been beating myself up about since Monday. I try to minimize it as much as possible, but sometimes it just gets to ya. I really need to like, go on a walk or something.
 
I consider myself to be a calm and rational person but it's now when my Rheumatology Nurse should be available to contact with a one hour slot and it's still the same answerphone message with 'Do not leave a message.' Honestly, I've had enough of this now. I'm sick of this pain, hardly any sleep and I'm crying because I can't hardly do anything. I just want some help from them. Is that too much to ask? No pain injections since July and I was supposed to be contacted in September to arrange new medication. Going to try and phone again and again and again ... am I just wasting my time? 😢

EDIT: Newsflash! I've actually managed to leave a message!!!!! Let's hope I can get a reply now...🫣
2nd edit: She phoned me back! Just got to wait on another phone call now...🙄
 
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I can’t decide between Au Ra and Miqo’te in FFXIV and I get interrupted whenever I finally sit down to actually think about it 🤔
 
I can't sleep, because my left leg is in massive pain from laying on my sides too much, and I can't even walk without hurting at all...
 
why has literally nobody ever once told me that crippling self-doubt is actually a very common symptom of OCD??

I've been over here journaling obsessively for the last month and a half, feeling like I need constant reassurance, always forgetting things and struggling with emotional permanence. I've been finding relief through journaling, because it helps me look back at my thoughts and things I've experienced in the past, and reminds me that these things are true and that my self-doubt is lying to me and that everything is okay. and now I'm seeing that the reason why I have this incessant desire to journal about literally everything is because of my OCD???

it would've been really helpful to know that earlier!! I've been over here thinking that I'm just some crazy, desperate, obsessive person who probably comes across as creepy because of that obsessiveness. but I've actually been doing it to be reassuring to myself, and to keep those symptoms of OCD at bay! I hate that I keep having to discover these things 20+ years down the road, when it would've been incredibly helpful to be aware of them earlier so I could be more mindful and gentle with myself 😭 better late than never I suppose...



I'll just say, dealing with mental health issues sucks. like, it suuuucks. 😞
 
I am reaching a point of not caring anymore. No matter how hard I try to be reasonable and try to be fair its always the same thing.
 
I am reaching a point of not caring anymore. No matter how hard I try to be reasonable and try to be fair its always the same thing.
Some people can’t be reasoned with, even if you have the high ground. People like SJWs, MAGA cultists, Antifa, and the Proud Boys, their biases are too incurable that there’s no reasoning with them. These people aren’t just worth it.
 
I have an absolute migraine from the underworld and I am beyond miserable. I hate feeling like this. 😭🤕
Coping but exhausted. Nightmares are the worst 😞
I know I usually say mom friend in an endearing and light-hearted way, but you two really are like the moms I never had, you both mean so much to me. I hope you feel better soon, but either way I'm only a message away if you want or need me for anything 🥺💗
 
I know I usually say mom friend in an endearing and light-hearted way, but you two really are like the moms I never had, you both mean so much to me. I hope you feel better soon, but either way I'm only a message away if you want or need me for anything 🥺💗
Thank you dearest bug ❤️ You are just the sweetest 💖 Love and hugs from one of your moms 💗
 
I know I usually say mom friend in an endearing and light-hearted way, but you two really are like the moms I never had, you both mean so much to me. I hope you feel better soon, but either way I'm only a message away if you want or need me for anything 🥺💗
Thank you, bug, that means a lot, and you mean a lot to me too 💞 I just need a good nights sleep and probably a lot more water than I’ve been drinking. Thankfully I think the three cups of tea I just drank will help with that.
 
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