What's Bothering You?

[SinnerTheCat]

I've been very stressed about getting a place to live for the next year. There's tons of offers, but all of them are so incredibly expensive. I'm kind of losing hope for anything good honestly.
Today I went to see a place which had basically the most perfect location, was fairly cheap and the owners were super nice, but they said that they want to be fair with other people who called and wanted to see the place, so they're letting everyone see it, get to know them a little and then decide who they're going to choose. And I get it!! It's super nice of them to be so considerate, giving everyone a chance. But waiting till tomorrow to hear if I have to look for something else or not makes me panic a little. My stomach is turning at the thought of it, because even tho they said that I'm very very nice and the place would be close to my uni and just generally that they will remember me when they're choosing the person to rent the place to, I'm still not sure what I'll hear through the phone when they call me. I'm really scared, I just want to find a place to live

 

[Beanz]

all my grandma wants to do is control me

 

[_Rainy_]

I’m having a lot of anxiety today. Everything feels like a bigger deal than it should be and I don’t know what to do to calm down.

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler

Just woke up and feeling so miserable. Today I should have been happy… I messaged Streamily to find out what happened, but no response :/

 

[xSuperMario64x]

still sad that I couldn't get my payment to process until earlier today so instead of getting my new plush tomorrow I have to wait til friday

also I don't want to ask people on here for New Leaf items cause I want to try and get them on my own, but I wish it didn't take like a year to complete a furniture set lol (much less 3-4 sets).

 

[jiny]

i made eggs but i didn’t find out they weren’t good anymore until i already finished making them

 

[Toska]

I’ve a toxic friend who I keep leaving only to come back, thinking that “she has changed.” You’d think I would have learned, but I keep throwing myself in this loop.

 

[Xara]

Spoiler

i want to properly vent so bad, but the brain fog from this depression is making that next to impossible. i just. i have to send an email to my guidance counsellor later and i am absolutely dreading it. i should have graduated a year ago, but thanks to the bull**** that is depression, anxiety and the plethora of other issues that i have, i’m still in high school and i have absolutely no idea whether or not i’m even still a student at this school because i should have graduated last year. this is also a conversation that i should’ve had with my guidance counsellor back in june, but of course my anxious ass put this off for as long as possible . i know getting it over and done with will hopefully alleviate my depression and anxiety a bit, but i’m honestly scared lol. the cherry on top of the cake is the fact that i don’t even know how to word my email since the brain fog has made me illiterate and unable to come up with anything that makes sense.

i have absolutely no words to describe just how much i hate that i’m like this. i hate that i’m still in high school. i hate that the thought of sending an email to someone is enough to make my stomach upset and my body cold with anxiety. i hate that i can’t make phone calls. i hate that my hair is so matted that i have to get it all chopped off soon. i hate that my teeth are ****ed. i hate that i can’t muster up the energy, or even the desire, to clean my disgusting ass room. i hate everything about my existence lol. i want to be normal so ****ing bad. i want to live, not just exist, but i can’t. i want out of this damn apartment. i want to go outside. i want to be around people. i just want to feel better.

i’m trying to remain as positive as humanly possible, but i just feel so ****ty mentally. i’m desperate for things to change, but i can’t bring myself to do what needs to be done. i’m almost 20 years old and have nothing to show for it. i’d give anything to be someone else or for a do over. i’m tired of sitting here and waiting to die, but i don’t have the energy for much else. what a lousy existence this is lol.

Spoiler

so, i finally emailed my guidance counsellor, only to find out that i have in fact been withdrawn from the school LOL. why in god’s name did it take me having to email her to find this out? was i supposed to like, pick up on cues or something? i should’ve been informed of this back in june. how do you withdraw someone from a school and just. not tell them?? and she said it so casually???? i’m literally going to scream lol

 

[VanitasFan26]

I’ve a toxic friend who I keep leaving only to come back, thinking that “she has changed.” You’d think I would have learned, but I keep throwing myself in this loop.

I can relate to how you're feeling. As someone who as to put up with "toxic friends" I know what it feels like to be backstabbed or betrayed by someone you thought was supposed to be your friend, but then they do awful stuff to you. I learned that the only person that can change is yourself and not them. My therapist told me that you're better off without them. Expecting them to change is only going to make the situation a lot harder on yourself.

I know from experience and let me just say when you cut off toxic people out of your life, you feel much better about yourself. If you still feel down about it, you can DM me anytime you wanna talk more about it. Trust me I know what it feels like to go through a bad experience like this.

 

[jiny]

i need to email my band director about joining color guard but im super nervous ahhh. i got so many people telling me i'll regret it if i dont join this year especially bcs its my senior year but omg im so scared of my parents everytime i bring up joining they get mad or tell me im not gonna take it seriously so why waste my time. i need their permission to do it to make me feel at ease about doing it, i dont wanna do it if i dont have their support.. its just gonna make me feel.. icky. i dont know how to convince them to let me do it, ive tried telling them so many times i'll take it seriously, ive tried telling them i really want to do this but they wont believe me. it sucks bc no matter how many times i try theyre never gonna believe me or support me in what i want to do :/

 

[Croconaw]

i need to email my band director about joining color guard but im super nervous ahhh. i got so many people telling me i'll regret it if i dont join this year especially bcs its my senior year but omg im so scared of my parents everytime i bring up joining they get mad or tell me im not gonna take it seriously so why waste my time. i need their permission to do it to make me feel at ease about doing it, i dont wanna do it if i dont have their support.. its just gonna make me feel.. icky. i dont know how to convince them to let me do it, ive tried telling them so many times i'll take it seriously, ive tried telling them i really want to do this but they wont believe me. it sucks bc no matter how many times i try theyre never gonna believe me or support me in what i want to do :/

Hi, I’ve been looking through your posts and I’m incredibly sorry that your parents aren’t supportive in what you want to do. I’ve had similar experiences in which my secondary family (not my parents, but my grandma and uncles) would put negative stuff in my mind whenever they heard about my plans to move out of state. I know in your case, it’s kind of different, because you would need permission due to it being for something in high school. I know how big of an impact these negative thoughts can have. If they’re spewing negativity and telling you you can’t do something, eventually you will believe it… no matter how hard you try not to. I definitely know the impact it can have because there’s always that voice… their voice… in the back of mind saying “you can’t do it” or “oh you’ll be back.” It really hurts because the things they’re saying, they likely don’t know the long term affects these negative thoughts can have. You don’t have to persuade them as much as you want to, because trust me, you don’t owe anyone is explanation. And no, you don’t owe your parents an explanation. Who cares if they are your parents? Would parents be constantly spewing negativity and trying to control you? No. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. My advice would be to persuade your parents just enough to get them to let you do it. After that, immediately get those negative thoughts out of your mind, and replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Telling yourself you can do it has the same impact as someone telling you that you can’t. Say that to yourself, that you can do it. Ridding yourself of those negative thoughts that your parents put in your head is crucial before you start. You don’t need to be zoning out during the colorguard training because those doubts are crowding your mind. Cleanse yourself completely and fill yourself with positivity.

 

[jiny]

Hi, I’ve been looking through your posts and I’m incredibly sorry that your parents aren’t supportive in what you want to do. I’ve had similar experiences in which my secondary family (not my parents, but my grandma and uncles) would put negative stuff in my mind whenever they heard about my plans to move out of state. I know in your case, it’s kind of different, because you would need permission due to it being for something in high school. I know how big of an impact these negative thoughts can have. If they’re spewing negativity and telling you you can’t do something, eventually you will believe it… no matter how hard you try not to. I definitely know the impact it can have because there’s always that voice… their voice… in the back of mind saying “you can’t do it” or “oh you’ll be back.” It really hurts because the things they’re saying, they likely don’t know the long term affects these negative thoughts can have. You don’t have to persuade them as much as you want to, because trust me, you don’t owe anyone is explanation. And no, you don’t owe your parents an explanation. Who cares if they are your parents? Would parents be constantly spewing negativity and trying to control you? No. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. My advice would be to persuade your parents just enough to get them to let you do it. After that, immediately get those negative thoughts out of your mind, and replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Telling yourself you can do it has the same impact as someone telling you that you can’t. Say that to yourself, that you can do it. Ridding yourself of those negative thoughts that your parents put in your head is crucial before you start. You don’t need to be zoning out during the colorguard training because those doubts are crowding your mind. Cleanse yourself completely and fill yourself with positivity.

thank you so much for taking the time to respond to this!! it means a lot. and of course, if i do end up being able to do it im not gonna let their negative thoughts clog up my mind. ive been wanting to do this for so long and just being able to be in the same environment with the color guard is enough to make me forget all the things they've told me i will definitely try talking it out with my parents before it is too late, i technically am already going to be joining late, so i really dont want to be any later than i already am

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler

I’m happy with my print (trying to go through five hours of video footage on the first va’s stream to find my print being signed right now) but am still pissed at streamily. i checked when i sent my edit request and i sent it before any of the signings happened. i would maybe understand no response if i sent it right after the streams started but i didn’t; the second and third messages yeah but i was asking why they didn’t see my first message? Or check before sending it to the voice actor. Rather than leave me hanging, just tell me if my request is or isn’t okay.

 

[Neb]

Half of me regrets taking this gap year. On one hand I didn’t have to deal with the nightmare that is online school. On the other hand the lack of a routine is aggravating. Every day I anticipate starting college. Things like video games and books are great, but they’re harder to do with unlimited free time. I just end up feeling depressed and bored. At least I only have a few weeks left.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

^^ I honestly am still very much enjoying taking a year off but yeah having no routine kinda sucks (and I can't set my own routines cause I won't follow them lol). kinda wish I had a part time job but idk where I would work (I can't handle fast food and retail, basically places where everything is fast-paced) and I'm terrified to get a job on account of autism/anxiety.

I lowkey hate seeing ppl do amazing things like draw and animate (things I love) and I can't do them bc paralyzing depression and exec dysfunction exist. i cant tell if i feel depressed again because the camp event ended and i now have nothing to do and look forward to, or because of my meds. im guessing the former since it kinda started right after the event ended.

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler

Streamily support still hasn’t replied and idk what to do to complain since their website says contact their support if i have questions about order or problems or need changes. I am posting on a social media too about this too and asking for an explanation about why they didn’t reply or do the changes I asked for. Nothing so far.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I really want a disco ball egg

 

[Shellzilla_515]

I feel what you guys are saying about the job market and the job hunt in my soul. I've been hunting for a job that will pay enough for me to move out for over a year now, and have come up with nothing. The only saving grace is that student loans have been extended for me for as long as they have. I'm most likely going to be taking another temporary job soon as well, which just means I'll be making money, but will have less time to find the right job for me. I know it feels hopeless, but don't give up guys. Even if it doesn't seem like it at times there's always at least one or a few things all of us can do well. ❤

Hey, Diluc, I've been noticing for quite a while that you have been applying to numerous jobs in hopes to land one. It's really tough to hear the news of being turned down for the position, especially if you worked really hard for it in the interview phase and needing to find income asap.

Not gonna lie, ever since the pandemic started, it threw off my plans in getting a job and it's only just recently I've started to apply for one. If it never happened in the first place, most of the stuff I learned in college would still be fresh in my mind and be good to enter the industry I'm going into. Despite gaining the knowledge, I haven't applied a lot of them and have become rusty since (I could take a look at my notes, but a lot of stuff is hands-on). Moreover, aside from the externship I had to do, it's my first time applying for an actual job and I'm a little nervous, to be honest with you. However, I'm trying anyway because my parents expect me to get a job and that I can't expect things to come to me by doing nothing. Life can be very difficult in many ways, but if we keep trying and step out of our comfort zone to become better selves, an opportunity will open up. If you keep trying and not giving up, Diluc, you might find a job that could be better than what you had imagined.

Spoiler

so, i finally emailed my guidance counsellor, only to find out that i have in fact been withdrawn from the school LOL. why in god’s name did it take me having to email her to find this out? was i supposed to like, pick up on cues or something? i should’ve been informed of this back in june. how do you withdraw someone from a school and just. not tell them?? and she said it so casually???? i’m literally going to scream lol

What, that's just... Why? Who in their right mind would think that they should just withdraw students from school? They've literally just impeded you from progressing to graduate from high school and it's gonna be a huge headache to get back in, all because of poor communication. Sorry to hear that.

I lowkey hate seeing ppl do amazing things like draw and animate (things I love) and I can't do them bc paralyzing depression and exec dysfunction exist. i cant tell if i feel depressed again because the camp event ended and i now have nothing to do and look forward to, or because of my meds. im guessing the former since it kinda started right after the event ended.

I'm not sure if you have done any animations, but I definitely did see your drawings and they're quite good in my eyes! I don't even know how people are able to draw smooth lines in Flipnote. Though, I do understand why you'd feel this way, on top of not having as much free time to do art. I hope you'd find the drive again to go back to do some art and animation to kick negative thoughts out of your mind. I really hope my reply doesn't come off as invalidating your feelings. I just want you to be happy again soon.

As for myself, I love to do some animation as well and dreaming to get into the animation industry, but I still have ways to go, on top of my art skills that aren't just there yet even though I'm making some progress. Also, life exists and I may have less time to hone my skills for drawing and animating.

 

[Alienfish]

People wanting to eat lunch out every freaking day. Like, bro I don't have your fat salary and I have to pay **** at home...

 

[Reginald Fairfield]

Spoiler

so, i finally emailed my guidance counsellor, only to find out that i have in fact been withdrawn from the school LOL. why in god’s name did it take me having to email her to find this out? was i supposed to like, pick up on cues or something? i should’ve been informed of this back in june. how do you withdraw someone from a school and just. not tell them?? and she said it so casually???? i’m literally going to scream lol

You'd think they'd inform you.