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What's Bothering You?

everytime i do something new, i get anxious over whether i'll enjoy it, or whether i'll be around people who'll like or hate me. very stressful thinking cycle :/
 
my grandma is so annoying, she’s in my business all the time, she cares too much about what other people are doing instead of herself. she has a full on melt down if my mother says anything she disagrees with, and refuses to see from other people’s perspective. she’s basically like an adult toddler, and to expand on that we eat the plainest **** ever just because she doesn’t like anything else. if it actually tastes good she’ll have a hissy fit, i wish she realized that she actually has a problem.
 
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I took my anxiety med and yet my anxiety is still really bad rn. I don't know why. maybe bc I took it later than I normally do. unfortunately anxiety makes me exec dysfunction even worse so now instead of doing the things I want to do I'm just sitting here in silence :,,,,,,)

also feel kinda hungry but I really have no appetite at all rn so idk what to do abt that lol
 
I don't know if covid causes apathy, but I just don't have the energy or mood to have emotion for anything I do. Like all of my different hobbies and stuff I have been working on, I just don't care about it all. It kinda sucks.
 
I feel so damn depressed. It feels like all of my friends are just acquaintance. I feel gender dysphoria. I wish so many things that are important to me just weren’t

A friend who lied to me about who they were is still on my mind, honest to god trauma
 
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Just a tricky night.
I'm so jumbled and sad and I am so tired
 
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Going to add to the heat discussion because I'm getting sick of it too. As much as I love western Oregon, the weather is disappointing at times. I love the rain, but we have it 8 months a year and the only sunny weather we get is excessively humid. Those sunny days where I don't feel like I'm melting are rare. The heat gets so bad that I have to close all of the blinds and blast the AC all day. It turns my apartment into an cave and I hate it. Now I'm craving comfy rain and mild temperatures. At least that'll come back in early October.
 
I have the sudden urge to get a job in my hometown and just move back home. I’m feeling depressed about the thought that I’m back in my flat again, maybe it’s a sign I should move out. The only thing about applying for new jobs means I would have to ask my boss to be a reference and I don’t really want him to know that im looking elsewhere. Not that I’d think he’d give a **** about me leaving anyway, I don’t feel very valued from him.
 
I just want to say about the heat discussion- you guys think 105f is hot? Down here in summer it’s 120f on most days- yes it’s unbearable,

but that isn’t to diminish the problem, down here, it’s dangerously cold inside houses. I mentioned it in a post here before. It isn’t horribly cold outside, it is a colder year than usual- the real problem is how poorly houses are made to deal with cold here

… i feel too vindictive lately and hate myself more than usual for it
 
my grandma is so annoying, she’s in my business all the time, she cares too much about what other people are doing instead of herself. she has a full on melt down if my mother says anything she disagrees with, and refuses to see from other people’s perspective. she’s basically like an adult toddler, and to expand on that we eat the plainest **** ever just because she doesn’t like anything else. if it actually tastes good she’ll have a hissy fit, i wish she realized that she actually has a problem.
Same with mine ngl
 
Today has just been rubbish. The bus was late and then when it showed up the driver ignored me despite my attempts to grab his attention. I then had to fork out £20 for a taxi once again and then once I got to work there just wasn't much to do as we've been quieter than usual thanks to the cost of living constantly on the rise. Also this summer weather is driving me nuts, it feels like Groundhog Day with it always being sunny and warm, give me some cloud and rain please Mother Nature! 😫
 
am i the only one who likes heat lol..

also goddamn flies, both small ones you breathe in and also those regular ones flying in the middle of the room like please just **** off lol
 
I’m thankful for the heat, lol. It’s only bad when it’s humid, but not the oven heat in Arizona, that’s perfect. Any heat is better than snow, though. I can live without that white stuff.

I woke up early today and I’m not even tired, but it’s still early.

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ONCE AGAIN FP&L SUCKS! MY NEIHBOURS SUCK!

The power is out again thanks to them not maintaining THEIR trees, and it's not like they can be reported for it, my mom has already tried.
 
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