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What's Bothering You?

I think the reason why I have no appetite even if I'm hungry is because I've come to associate feeling hungry with feeling guilt. so I subconsciously started suppressing my desire to eat when I'm hungry. like right now, I know I'm hungry but there's nothing that I feel like I could eat without feeling sick. maybe I really should talk to a doctor about this.

also still feeling nauseous/dizzy when I swing on my swing and it's so annoying. I can't even rock a little bit without feeling like I might pass out.
 
Something went wrong with the laptop when I was using it. Not really sure what the issue is because it's in French.

Edit: Something's really wrong with the laptop. It went from Windows blue error screen to... I don't even know. Like the laptop's menu? It looks like something from the 90's when computers were still in development. Whatever it is, literally none of the keys and buttons are working. My dad is gonna be so mad when he comes back.
 
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I honestly find it really disturbing how well Cult of the Lamb is doing sales wise. Even though it's fantasy, the game is really satanic. So many popular games these days, heck even TV shows, have really dark and creepy themes I just really don't think it's good for the brain or soul to be exposed to so much of it. I'm not someone who shys away from mature content, but sometimes I really think they take it too far. I know this will probably be an unpopular opinion here and I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just wanted to rant.
 
I’ll never understand why people don’t lock the doors when they use public bathrooms. I try to clean the restrooms at work, and they’re lucky I knock each time. Customers have walked in on each other before. Are people that oblivious to the fact that locks exist?
 
I went to the dentist today and it went fine for the most part but I might have to get a crown put in.. AND I might have to see a specialist about maybe getting some wisdom teeth removed... aaaaaaæäãåa
 
poweradeex said:
Covid being everywhere and no one bothering to wear masks anymore or even isolate while sick. As someone who has chronic lung disease, my life has become even more restricted.
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It sucks at this point even people who were responsible about it are just so sick of it or used to it they won’t do that anymore. A couple of months ago we thought my dad had COVID because he had all the symptoms. He didn’t (confirmed with a proper test, PCE test I think it’s called, not the home one) and then he wouldn’t isolate from us at all, was mad at us for being scared, and emotionally repressed us. He said “It’s not like I’m going to kill you”, and said a lot of horrible stuff, and got extra drunk that day. I felt worse about most stuff since then, that was when I stopped working with my dad. It hard working with him already but I really liked the job aside from him, that was the last straw. I’m not going to expect him to do ANYTHING for monkeypox. /: He’s said sorry but it was never a proper apology and acts like nothing changed. I hate him.

By the way! This is coming from me when I was hospitalised as a kid because of asthma. I think my dad would never be sorry unless I was literally hospitalised again and I’m not exaggerating and even then he wouldn’t actually change at all.

Anyway, today has just been a super oppresively lonely depressing day, because I keep thinking about how distant I feel from my partner.

I don’t want to depend on having friends online. It’s not enough. I want real life friends. Never get to go out or make any though. Lonely lonely lonely.
 
Croconaw said:
I’ll never understand why people don’t lock the doors when they use public bathrooms. I try to clean the restrooms at work, and they’re lucky I knock each time. Customers have walked in on each other before. Are people that oblivious to the fact that locks exist?
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Considering what people do in the restrooms too ^this. My cousin told me rather.. gross stories about em while he worked at a burger place so.. yeah yuck.
-

On a more serious nore, I really, really, really hate my hyperfixation-autism/asperger brain. Like, sure it's useful when I want to find, facts and stuff on the internet or help with details at work.

BUT I ****ing hate it when I focus on one thing for a period of time, like a couple of years or so and then it's like my brain tells me to abandon it but I still love it. Like, brain please stop or just ****ing rot. LIKE YES I CAN LIKE POLITICAL FOLK AND JAPANESE BOY BANDS **** YOU BRAIN... like you get the point it's like it doesn't let me like several things at once which is like... **** you brain. Like it forces me to like something until I grow/tired bored of it and not "letting" me do anything at else.. screw it.
😤
 
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I don't have a single pair of decent shorts, they're either skin-tight or really short. The last thing I wanna do is show off my figure, which I'm pretty sure is the sole purpose of these dreaded shorts. Hell, the one I was just wearing was literally transparent (kind of) and you could legit see my underwear, so I had to switch to a different pair. Thank god I didn't go out in public with those. I can't wait till it gets cold again so I can start wearing hoodies and sweatpants.
 
I'm real consistent at sleeping at 3 in the morning and waking up at noon, but even then I'm still tired when I wake up. 🙃 I gotta fix my sleep schedule before school starts in about... Two weeks... Bleh.
 
been having mild drainage in my nose/throat for a few days, and today I woke up with a head cold. so that's fun. I took some Sudafed so hopefully that helps.
 
i would like my ibs to leave me alone for just one (1) day. 😔 is that too much to ask for
 
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