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The Internet's Worst Advice Column

Flail your legs like Yoshi and hope for the best.

Where can I find some food?
 
Create a black hole in your stomach using science.

How do I win a gold medal at the olympics?
 
Constantly exercise while doing so it
Train SUPER hard. With enough training, you'll be able to parkour your way to the place where it's held and then you can steal it.

How do I wear a seatbelt?
 
No, introduce someone else to your crush and set them up with each other.

How do I fly a plane?
 
Just drink water and stop being sad :)

I'm out of dog food, what should I feed my dog?
 
Your spleen. Very nutritious.

how should i come out as enby to my family?
 
Spoon 1, spoon 2 for switch!
What should I name my build-a-bear?
 
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