The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Cutesy]

Abandon all your goals so there is nothing to procrastinate

How do I deal with a person who ignored me?

 

[Midoriya]

Ignore them back as hard as you can. Then they’ll want to speak with you.

How do I get someone to not be passive aggressive?

 

[sunnibunniva]

Make them actively aggressive

how do I get all my assignments done in time?

 

[StressedJess]

program a robot to do it for you and hope it’s fast enough to complete them in the time remaining.

How do i make my headache lessen?

 

[Clock]

Drink water, its simple as that
How do I get a high score in any game?

 

[Katzenjammer]

Just press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

How do you make a pumpkin pie?

 

[Mick]

1. Cut as shown. Discard top and bottom.

2. (Optional) add sprinkles


How do you let someone know that you like them?

 

[Neb]

Get your hopes up and confess to them out of nowhere. Works every time.

How do I get myself to study every day?

 

[Uffe]

Schedule a specific time of day to study. If you can go to a library, that'd probably be even more helpful. Or discipline yourself to stay off your phone and conserve the energy for actual emergencies instead of social media or whatever, and to not play video games. I think I played this game wrong.

How do I become less stressed?

 

[Neb]

Watch the news for five hours while browsing Twitter.

Where can I find some snacks?

 

[Clock]

In the pantry, there's several ingredients you can have for snacks
How do I find a lost pencil?

 

[Midoriya]

Summon in a gacha game until it gives you a pencil-like character. Then you can transfer it to real life.

?sdrawkcab epyt ton I od woh

 

[Clock]

Spell backwards or type with a mirror facing your computer
How do I make lemonade?

 

[Lenndrix]

1.) First you must hunt down a lemon in their natural habitat - careful! They are wily beasts who tend to hide in trees when provoked and have been known to omit a bitter poison when bitten... Indeed, take care while trapping these elusive prey...

2.) Once you have captured the lemon, proceed to pack it in sugar and let sit for many days cause -lets face it- youll probably forget all about it while nursing yourself back to health after that vicious lemon attack took 1.5 of your fingers

3.) Discover the lemon/sugar mess and curse your bad memory while you try to use your remaining 8.5 fingers to drive yourself to the store. Buy store bought lemonade, but fumble with your change because again, the fingers...

How do I fit an egg in a bottle?

 

[ForestFox]

Crack the egg and than pass out from being made at the egg. Didn’t have to say it needed the shell

How do I make school stay online?

 

[Wiimfiuser]

Spread Corona.

Buy Sonic 06 because it's the best sonic game?

 

[Neb]

Find the dirtiest Xbox 360 you can find, buy Sonic 06, get a group of friends on the phone, and play the game blindfolded. You’ll be in for a once in a lifetime experience.

How do I get my cat to lose some weight?

 

[Wiimfiuser]

Hm. Forbid it from sachets for 2 days. ONLY BISCUITS.


Playing Smash Bros without being jealous of Steve players.

 

[princess.looking.for.frog]

Play with them anyway and pretend they are mario or something

Eating some candy because they have a specific sugar that causes an allergic reaction.. but the candy is amazing. How the heck am I supposed to eat it?

 

[ForestFox]

Eat it without the stuff that makes you allergic

how do I get my school to be decent and actually close when a student got really sick from corona